Happy 5 month-birthday, Molly Lou!

Miss Lou Lou. I can't believe how the time has flown right by us these past few months. I love you so incredibly... you have brought an amount of pure joy to our family that I never knew was possible... never felt it was missing until we had you. You are going to bring so much happiness to the people you come in contact with for the rest of your life, I can already feel that. Thank you for helping make me a better, stronger, more loving & patient mother. Thank you for making Presley a big sister; it's a role I can see she was so naturally made for! Thank you for making my husband a daddy x2 - it has made him an even more caring and sensitive man than he already was. And thank you for making us a family of four. Along with Presley, you have made the bond of this little Duggan family stronger and more meaningful. I love you with my whole heart.

The last time I wrote a monthly update for you, it was September and you were two months old. I know... I have been majorly slacking! Thankfully, I have continued with the monthly pictures...

It's incredible how much you've grown in that amount of time and how much has changed.  Here are some of the things about you:

• Presley is your favorite person, always. I don't think you've been upset with her yet... not even when she lays right on top of you! I know that might change as you both get older so I am relishing it now.
• You're still on a breastmilk-only diet and you seem to have no complaints! We'll more than likely start introducing solids to you next month to see how you like it.
• You're sleeping in our room in your bassinet. You like to wake up anytime between 5am-7am every morning to eat so it's very convenient to have you right there versus across the house in the room that'll be yours... eventually. 
• Right now you're going through a growth spurt - you've been waking me up all throughout the night to nurse. It could just be your cold but I don't think that's all it is.
• Your daddy still gets up with you every morning to change your diaper and hand you off to me so I can feed you before he gets ready for work. That is a huge support he offers me that I am grateful for.
• I'm not sure when you'll start cutting teeth, but you've been drooling and chewing on any/every thing lately. Presley got her first tooth right at the 6 month mark and I will bet you won't be far from that as well.
• You're a laughy-baby and you love smiling, too. (Except not so much the past few days!)
• After the initial first few weeks, you've become a very great sleeper. You will go to sleep between 7-8pm (daylight savings time has really thrown us off in this regard... you had been barely making it to 6pm before the time change) and had been sleeping until 5-6am before this growth spurt.
• We hope to switch you to your own room sometime soon... I'm just nervous to switch you in case you start to wake up Presley in the mornings before we can get to you and feed you since your rooms are near each other.
• I'm about to (already) switch you from 3-6 month clothes to 6-9 month clothes. They just seem to fit you more comfortably.
• You are just finally getting into size 3 diapers this week!
• You LOVE bath time with Presley. That is when we get the best, loudest laughs out of you!
• Your eyes are still a very pretty, complex color. I still can't really discern what color they are but lately they've been looking mostly green!!!! I'm REALLY hoping they'll be brown but green is definitely my second choice! Either way - they are beautiful.
• You've flipped from belly to back at least two times now and each time no one else has seen it happen! You're sneaky. And you're so close to being able to do it regularly.
• You're the cutest little thumb-sucker! Which is all new to me considering Presley never took to it. You used to like your pacifier until you discovered your thumb. You will only suck it when you're very tired. It's SO precious and I'm so glad it helps you sleep.
• You sleep with a fan in the room and a little bunny that plays a lullaby for 45 minutes.
• You're not really on much of a schedule as far as naps go... I just put you down when you seem tired and you are easy to get to sleep. You usually take one longer afternoon nap and one shorter morning nap.

I can't believe we are almost halfway to your first birthday and about two months away from Presley's third birthday!


On November 9, your Great Grandfather - Gordon Naylor -  passed away.

I'm very sorry you didn't get to meet or know him. He was a good, sweet man and you both would've loved each other. He came to visit us and see our new home this summer while I was pregnant with you... so your paths did cross and I know he already loved you.

A few days later we hopped in the car and drove to Evansville, Indiana to say goodbye to him one last time. It is an incredibly sad thing to lose someone but we have to hold onto the hope that we will see him again someday. A beautiful thing about things of this nature is that it brings families together - we got to meet so many aunts, uncles, and cousins on the Naylor side and though it was an incredibly short trip, it was a really great one, thanks to the generosity and kindness of Pete & his family. I hope that's not the last we'll be seeing everybody.

This is your Great Aunt Carrie. She is equal parts beautiful on the inside and out.

Here we are with Presley, Aunt Carrie, cousin Dani, & Grandmommy.

And here is your dad's cousin, Dani. She is the sweetest. She was my buddy all day long and couldn't get enough of you. I'm so glad I got to know this little gal.

There are your great aunts & uncles with your Grandmommy. Of course you know your Great Uncle Mike (the one holding up the sign for "I love you") and Grandmommy. In the back is your Great Uncle Pete and down in the front is your Great Uncle John & Great Aunt Carrie.

And here is our family.

Since then, we've taken another road trip, this time to Nashville, Tennessee to visit more family. We spent Thanksgiving with Aunt Ashy, Uncle Jojo, Sage (the puppy), Aunt Amanda, Uncle John, Sammy, and your cousins Matthew and Anne Marie. That was another quick trip but it was so much fun getting everybody together. We're so lucky to have each other and it's so silly how we let life get in the way of spending more time together! I really hope we can start getting together for quick visits like that every month.

Here's the book Ashley & Jonathan go you for Christmas!

Anne Marie & Presley got to paint and things got a little crazy before bath time!

 

Our chefs and the hosts for the holiday

As you know, this is Sage... Ashy & Jojo's baby girl! She will be one in January.

Sitting down for our Thanksgiving feast.

 

Another thing that's been happening is this awful cold that's been going around our house for the past 3 weeks. Right now you've got it (again!) and it's been the worst yet. You have an awful cough that keeps you up at night. Sometimes you will get into these coughing fits that will make you throw up some of the milk you just drank! And the other night you woke up around midnight and your entire face was covered in slimy snot!!! (I'm not exaggerating either! Your dad will serve as a witness for this one.) It seems to be getting better but now your dad has gotten it... I just hope it ends there!

I found an old roll of film the other day and it turns out it was photos from your Great Uncle Stuart's wedding. I was hoping there would be some good photos of your Grampa Scott on there, but of course he was the one taking the photos... like he always was. The only photo he ended up in was a family photo which I am thankful for. There are also some beautiful snapshots of your Great Grandmother, Elinor.

That's my Grandma Myers there on the left.

The girls in the matching dresses are Ashley, Amanda and myself and behind us is my dad and mom. Then there is Aunt Debbie, Caden, and Uncle Stuart and next to him is Gramma Myers.

We've started to decorate the house and I'm so glad we did. It really warms up the place.

We have a lot to look forward to this holiday season and I'm trying my best to be positive, but recently there have been a string of home invasions in the immediate city we live in and the most recent included the murder of someone I went to school with. It has left me with an incredible amount of anxiety about the area we live in and what we need to do in order to keep you girls safe both now and in the future. I'm sure a lot of my anxiety recently stems from the fact that my dad was killed in a similar fashion... but it also has to do with the fact that I don't feel safe in the city we live in (or the times we live in). We just moved back here and bought our first house... it's a home we had every intention of staying in and raising you girls in but now I am not at all sure that will happen. I am hoping for peace in this situation but I'm not sure that it will come.

I also have been feeling extremely foolish for thinking that the Memphis area had become safer over the last few years and that things were getting better. I feel foolish for moving back... again... just to find out that this isn't what I wanted. I know these things can (and do) happen everywhere, but just not this frequently! I feel scared being at home, I am fearful leaving the house, and I am scared to come back home. I'm nervous while we're out shopping or driving. I just don't feel safe in this city and I hate that feeling. But what can we do in this situation? We have been in our home for less than a year and financially we are not equipped to sell the house and start over again in a new area. But eventually, that is what I hope we can do. I hope things will feel better and be better when I revisit this topic in a few months... I truly do... but on this, I am not sure that it will change.

You and your sister mean so much to me. I am in charge of protecting you guys and for giving you a happy childhood. I want to be able to do those things and I hope that you will both grow into your old age without any problems. Having so much to look forward to makes me feel like I have so much to lose. Not our money or our house or any of our "things" - but you, Presley, and your dad make me rich every single day. I know what it's like to lose someone at the hands of evil, selfish, thoughtless people and it is one of the greatest (and most awful) fears I have. I don't know what I would do if something happened to any of you... I don't know if I could survive. But I know I would somehow have to. And I can't let these fears and horrible people take away my peace and hope and joy in the meantime. I have to find a way to focus on all the things in my life that are beautiful until we are financially able to get out of the city I was so looking forward to raising you both in.

I know this is not an uplifting entry but it's what's been going on for me lately. I just ask that people be patient with me regarding this subject. I'm trying hard to put on my big girl panties and deal with it... but it might just take some time. And may you both rest in peace, Jarmelle & Papaw Gordon. You were two great men and it does give me peace to know you're both with the Lord and those who have gone before you.

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life.

Breastfeeding!

HAPPY NATIONAL BREASTFEEDING MONTH!

Okay, I have been wanting to write on this topic for a while now, but because for so many people it really is still a hot button issue (as in formula vs. breastfeeding), I've steered away from it.  It's to the point where I feel bad blogging about it because I don't want formula fed mamas to feel judged by me.  On top of it, it's still somewhat of a taboo subject and there are sadly grown adults out there who are weirded out by the topic.  I think this has been the BIGGEST motivation to write about it; if I were to stay silent because someone isn't comfortable with this topic, then I really am perpetrating the problem.


After a recent conversation with a friend of mine who is pregnant, I've decided to write about my feelings towards breastfeeding as well as my own personal experiences with nursing my daughter for the past (nearly) six months.  I'm writing this blog and will be so honest in sharing so that HOPEFULLY a new mom out there will come across this who has the same worries I had and realize she's not alone.  I hate to think that everyday there are women who forgo breastfeeding because of the fear of the unknown and if I can be any help towards promoting breastfeeding, even if it's just to one person, then I will feel really good about that.


Breastfeeding Worries:
I don't know about any of you first time mothers out there, but one of my biggest areas of concern when it came to breastfeeding was going from the mindset of my breasts being somewhat of a sexual object to my breasts being something used to feed my baby.  And since there are many people who are so weirded out by breastfeeding, I was scared that it would feel perverted.  To expand on that, I was just scared that it would feel sexual to breastfeed, you know?  And that was beyond creepy to me.  I told myself if it felt like that in even the slightest way that I was absolutely going to be done breastfeeding.

(Hindsight, this is crazy talk - but at the time, I had no idea what it would be like.)

But then I was in labor for like, 50 hours.  And exhausted.  And then at the end of it all, I had a baby to feed.  The last thing on my mind when it came to first feeding Presley were my previous worries.  My inner monologue sounded something like:  "Oh my gosh, am I doing this right?" and "Ouch! This hurts! Why does this hurt? The book says it's not supposed to hurt..." and briefly "Is she getting enough?"


Breastfeeding a Newborn:
And there really hasn't been very much reason (or time) to look back.  In the beginning, Presley and I both had no clue what we were doing.  On top of the learning curve, Presley didn't have the best latch - so there was a fair amount of pain on my end the first few weeks.  I used the Lanolin cream and took a warm shower every day to help ease some of the soreness.  There was bleeding and scabbing, but once everything healed, breastfeeding started getting much better.  But when things were pretty painful, I was able to use a nipple shield while nursing and it made it somewhat better.  I didn't use it much as I didn't want Presley to get used to latching on the shield vs. on me to further the latching issues.

From the very beginning, I got the advice to set small, attainable goals for breastfeeding.  At first it was just to survive the first 4 weeks of breastfeeding, the next goal was to make it until 3 months, and my current goal that I've been working towards is the 6 month mark - which we are currently 2 weeks away from meeting!  Somewhere along the way it has become rewarding and completely fulfilling instead of being a chore or something I found to be inconvenient.  So many times (especially in the beginning) I wondered what it would be like to formula feed; I felt like it must be so much easier and convenient and I wouldn't have this baby latched on to me 24/7!  But in hindsight, those first few weeks of figuring everything out is difficult a challenge no matter how you feed your baby.


Breastfeeding Motivations & Opinions:
There were so many positive findings that led me towards breastfeeding for both Presley and I.  The fact that breastfeeding lowers a mother's chance of ovarian and breast cancer was huge.  But I cannot tell a lie, the biggest reason I looked forward to breastfeeding was because so many moms told me how it helped shed the pregnancy weight very quickly.  Another huge motivator was (and still is) the fact that we don't pay a dime for Presley's food.  Since I've chosen to stay home with her thus far and therefore do not bring in any income, it's been nice not having another expense on top of diapers, wipes, and my addiction to buying baby clothes on clearance. 

Most importantly, I knew breastfeeding was and will always be the best option for my child.  Breastfeeding can lower a child's risk of developing all kinds of illnesses or infections ranging from childhood leukemia to ear infections and many things in between.  That's not to say that formula isn't a wonderful option - because what in the heck would we do without formula if for some reason breastfeeding wasn't an option?  We would be lost!  And I will always respect each woman's right to choose what they do with their own body.

I consider myself very lucky that even despite some issues in the beginning, that I've been able to nurse Presley because I know there are women who are not as fortunate.  With that being said, my wish is that every mother give breastfeeding a shot.  In addition, instead of breastfeeding being a good or even the best option, it should be the standard.


Breastfeeding Experiences:
We've charted Presley's feeding schedule from the very beginning; first using pen and paper and then about a month or so into it I started using an app on my phone.  (The app I use is "Baby Feeding Log" and I highly recommend it to smart phone/iPod touch mamas out there!  It's free and extremely user-friendly.  In addition to keeping track of feedings, you can log sleep time as well as diapers if need be!)  I've enjoyed keeping track of Presley's feedings, mostly so I could pick up the pattern of when she wants/needs to feed throughout the day.  It's also been nice in the instances when her routine goes out the window (for example, throughout her various growth spurts) to be able to figure out what her "new" routine is.

Nursing an almost 6 month old is much different than it was to begin with.  I feel there are far less challenges today and that Presley & I have really gotten in a rhythm when it comes to feeding her.  Our biggest hurdle these days in the breastfeeding department is making sure there are not too many distractions, otherwise Presley will lose focus and latch/unlatch several times.  (And boy, does that get annoying!)  But as long as we're in a relative quiet area, things go just fine.

Another (minor) challenge to breastfeeding these days is TEETHING.  Presley chomps down on her hands, our fingers, her toys, and everything she get get in her mouth.  This includes her paci, the occasional bottle, and YES... my nipple.  (And it DEFINITELY hurts!)  She's only done this a few times and I think my strong reaction is what keeps it from becoming a more regular occurrence.  I can only imagine how this will go once she has teeth......
 
So, even though I haven't met the 6 month goal quite yet, I know there will be no stopping at that point either.  So the next goal I'll set is 9 months!


Breastfeeding Resources:
One of the websites I often frequent lists the benefits your child receives from breastfeeding according to their age.  In this past, these facts kept me motivated by reminding me why I was choosing to breastfeed.  This website is formatted the same way and lists additional benefits by age as well.

I also use tons of apps on my phone that have helped with breastfeeding concerns including the Medela iBreastfeed App and the What to Expect: Baby App.

Also, to all you breastfeeding mamas, August 15th is Public Display of Breastfeeding (PDB) Day! 

This picture makes smile!  "Breastfeeding Moms Band Together"

I'm one of the many moms that nurse who are intimidated by nursing in public.  Over 1,000 moms have pledged to breastfeed in public on the 15th in solidarity in order to help erase the stigma of breastfeeding.  So of course, I've hopped on board and plan to take part in PDB Day.  If you have the opportunity to do so, I encourage you and ask you to take part in order to encourage the normalcy of breastfeeding!

And lastly, I just want to thank my awesome, super supportive husband for standing by me from day one!  He cares about my goals just as much (if not more) than I do.  Not only that, but I mean it when I say he supports me.  In the earliest days when feeding Presley was most challenging and even stressful, he made it his priority to make sure I was taken care of.  While he was home that first week, he told me he was in charge of keeping me fed because I was in charge of keeping Presley fed.  He did so much for me and continues to do so today - including filling up my glass of water whenever he's home whether I ask or not, changing countless diapers between feedings, and being incredibly loving and self-sacrificing for Presley and I.
I couldn't love him more.

Happy five month birthday, Presley!

 Here is what the pretty princess has been up to lately...

• At her doctor's appointment last month, Presley rolled over from her belly to her back very surely, almost as if she has been doing it all the time.  Since then, she has done it maybe once or twice more on accident.  She'll flip onto her side, but that's it.
• Bedtime is not my favorite time of the day here lately.  Getting her to sleep is such a struggle!  Her bedtime is pretty consistent but her wake time has not been and I know that lies on my shoulders!
• She's been doing better when it comes to sitting up.  Definitely not sitting up unassisted yet, but she is getting stronger at it each day.
• When she has belly time, she has just started to tuck her knees underneath her a bit!  So we're making (slow) progress towards scooting/crawling!  Not in ANY rush to have her racing around, though.
• She's finally starting to grow some of her hair back!  And it's so fluffy and adorable.
• She's in size 3 diapers, close to growing out of her 3-6 month clothes, and in 9 month sleepers already!
• I knew it was only a matter of time, but at 5 months of age, Presley has her first minor illness!  Seems like she's got a little cold - complete with a runny nose and all.  She wakes up sounding so congested, poor girl.  Hopefully my body will create some antibodies for her and we'll both get over this soon! (Either she passed it to me or I passed it to her -- either way, we've both got it, but hers is definitely worse.)
• It seems like she may have "found" her toes (FINALLY!) but it also seems like her legs might be too long or her to really grab and play with them!  It's so hilarious because when she's playing on her back, she'll grab her knees and hold onto them in the same way that other kids hold their toes.  It's pretty darn cute.
• Her eyes are still pretty blue!  I'm still wondering if they will change or stay the same.  We'll see!
• She basically only seems to want her pacifier at bedtime these days and I'm sure if we took it away from her now or sometime soon that she might not even miss it.  But considering it's one of the only things that seems to stop her cries at night, I am not ready to part ways with it just yet.
• Presley's definitely been eying our food more and more lately and seems to want to try what we've got!  This is exciting!  Last month I was so freaked out at the thought of starting her on solids, but now I just can't wait to see how she does with baby food!!!
• We got out the high chair because I wanted to introduce her to it and she absolutely HATED it!  She cried instantly when I put the tray on and the second time around she was alright for a minute or so but then started to cry.  Hopefully she'll just keep getting better and better with it.
• For the moment, she is enjoying being in water!  We haven't done too much lately with her and water (no pools, sprinklers, nothing recently!) but she likes the shower again and even tries to drink the water!  And it is so adorable.
• We've been having weekly play dates with a friend of mine who watches her nieces during the day (adorable twin girls) and I'm not sure who enjoys it more - me or her!  :) 
• Presley is counting down the days until her cousin Anne Marie makes her big debut!  While it could be any day now, there is no real rush for her to get here; we want her to stay put until her mommy & daddy have absolutely everything ready for her!  Hopefully we'll be able to make it down to Nashville to show all of them some love, too!
• She loves to smile and laugh and I really can't get enough of it!!!!

Big 5 month old!

So here we are, almost halfway to her first birthday!  Although I'm loving where she is currently at, I still find myself looking forward to her getting older.  Presley's always been such a sweet baby, but lately she's been more on the fussy/needy side.  (Which hey, it's to be expected:  She's a BABY!)  I'm not sure if it's because she's been a little under the weather lately, teething, or what... but at moments it's a little on the tough side! 

Not to mention, I think we've definitely been experiencing somewhat of a "sleep regression" which lots of moms swear takes place in the 4th month.  It's not fun rocking your baby over and over and over again and getting no where!  I just look forward to the days when it doesn't take nearly an hour of tears (on and off) to get her to sleep.  I've debated going back to swaddling her but I don't know if that's moving in the wrong direction or not?

All in all, things are still going very good and she is one incredible kiddo.  But holy moly, I cannot wait to sleep train once she hits the 6 month mark!  My plan over the next few weeks is to learn as much as I can about the Ferber Method (hopefully without having to buy the book -- going to get a hold of it from the library) so that Tony and I are prepared.  I would say the thing I'm most nervous about is making Presley adhere to a strict schedule. 

Up until this point, we've pretty much done everything on command and paid close attention to the cues Presley gives us when it comes to her being sleepy, hungry, etc.  So I am very apprehensive about that aspect of sleep training.  And I'm very worried when it comes to napping as she is usually all over the place when it comes to nap times. SO!  All you mamas out there, let me know if you've sleep trained, if you plan to, or how sleep is going in your home these days!

In other news, school is over for me by the end of this week and I could NOT be more excited and ready to kiss it GOOD BYE and have my Bachelor's Degree!  I was supposed to be done with my degree after summer school last year, but unfortunately I didn't pass a class that I needed to graduate.  On top of it, it was a pretty specific class that I needed and I couldn't make it work until now to take it.  I am just ready to have this monkey off my back!  We will then be one step closer to getting out of the Quad Cities and hopefully back to Tennessee!

Hope everybody had a happy Monday!  Hardest day of the week is over and we're all one step closer to the weekend.  :)