New Year.

Anybody else feel like life has been moving super fast lately? I really can't believe 2019 is already here. There are lots of joyful things happening this year for us. Tony and I are going to see Justin Timberlake when he comes back to Memphis this month and later in the year Amanda and I are going to see the Backstreet Boys! Both concerts we'll be sitting nosebleeds but I'm honestly just so excited to be there that it doesn't even matter to me. In between those shows we'll be celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary and I'll be in my happy place all year while planning our first family vacation in FOREVER for Walt Disney World for this Fall!!!!

Every year at this time I love reflecting in attempt to learn something from the last year about myself and potentially how I can make healthier decisions in the coming year. I haven't done as much journaling and reflecting as I'd like to, but the little bit that I finished so far I wanted to share here on my blog. Here is the list of prompts I followed. I picked them up from my sister who got them from somewhere else on the interwebs so here is a recreated version of the original list and then my answers below that.

This year...

A bad habit I'm going to break:

Being so quick to lose my patience. I know I can try a lot harder in this arena. I'd also like to make it to mass this year. I was originally going to say "make it to mass more this year" but to be honest, if I went to mass two times in 2019 that'd technically be more than I did in 2018. So. Saying more wouldn't exactly be clear enough. I'd like to make it to mass as a family this year. I'm hoping to break the bad habit of being complacent in not going.

A new skill I'd like to learn:

To live minimally.

A person I hope to be more like:

The "Girl Wash Your Face" girl (Rachel Hollis) and Glennon Doyle. Rachel seems to have refocused her energies on the things (as a wife and mom) that really, actually matter. She seems to have switched from being unforgiving of herself to loving and being kind to herself. That's the biggest shift within myself I could make this new year. I always want to be a bit more like Glennon but especially getting up and doing good for other people is what I wish I did more of like she does.

A good deed I'm going to do:

Donate blood. No excuses.

A place I'd like to visit:

Dallas. I'm not sure it'll happen this year but it's always on my list of places to visit someday.

A book I'd like to read:

A ton of books. I want to read this year. Last year I kinda fell off the reading wagon and it's something I miss so much. But the first book that came to mind for this was "Girl Wash Your Face" since I was just thinking about Rachel Hollis.

A letter I'm going to write:

Goodbye letters to Gramma Myers and Granny. The things I would have liked to tell them or talk to them about before they passed.

A new food I'm going to try:

I really can't think of one! So I'm going to go with a turkey leg from Walt Disney World. And macaroons. I've never had them and would like to try them. AND. I'd like to try sake. I know that's a drink but it's something I've always wanted to try.

I'm going to do better at:

Homeschool stuff for BOTH girls. Getting out of the house a bit more. Cleaning out and organizing the house to potentially move. Drink more water. Be more physically active.

Which leads me to my word of the year... BREATHE. I'd like to take a deep breathe and clear my head more often before responding this year. If I allow myself a moment to breathe before doing or responding or reacting then I'm hoping it'll give me a moment to grasp onto my reserve of kindness and patience. To respond more often with love instead of bitterness or anger or cynicism. To wait a minute and hear someone out completely instead of assuming the worst and jumping right in. Breathe. This is the first time for me to choose a word to focus on for the year and I'm loving the idea and the motivation. I'm looking for the perfect accessory so I can carry the word with me throughout the year.

Let me know how you spend the new year this year - did you reflect or make resolutions or did you choose a word? If so, what were they? I'd love to know! I hope it's a year for growth and reaching our potential.

Baby 3.0: 40 Weeks & Waiting.

40 weeks pregnant with Crosby

I'm feeling: Pretty down. I waited 50 minutes at the doctor's office today. It is so disheartening to wait and wait and wait. I know it happens. I know to expect it. But every damn week? It makes me feel unimportant. And a little honest communication along the way goes a LONG way, if you ask me. I go up to the window after waiting so long to see if I should reschedule and of course, they get me back to ultrasound right away after that. So... I'm thinking they forgot about me? I'm not sure what happened. Not to mention after my ultrasound my doctor barely saw me. He didn't check my cervix or measure my belly or anything this week. Thankfully, my fluid levels are good-ish. They're a little on the borderline low side so that means drinking more water for me. I don't think I've really had many contractions so far so I suppose maybe that's why he didn't check my cervix. I know there is not much to be done about waiting for Crosby to come BUT it would make me feel much more comforted if I felt like my doctor was doing everything he could to be there for me. Support. Encouragement. Empathy. Reassurance. I didn't feel much of that today. So... that's why I'm feeling a little bit down.

Baby's size: We are officially at the watermelon stage. I've been feeling some major round ligament pain lately and as my doctor so empathetically put it... "your belly isn't exactly small at this point" - so he's getting big.

High of the week: My little sister was in town this weekend and it was nice having her here. We got pedicures and that was so relaxing. After that we went to see some friends from high school and I can't even begin to say how great that was! I laughed... so much!! And got to catch up with some really great people. We made some fun trips out to the zoo this past week. I've loved having my brother-in-law in town and getting all together.

Had to take a family siblings photo while we had the kids' aunt and uncle in town!

Tony with his brother & dad

Low of the week: Feeling not great after my doctor's appointment today.

What I'm excited about: I'm so bummed right now and just frustrated with the waiting... it's hard for me to summon some positive feelings right now. There's only so many times I can share my excitement to meet this little guy and have my spirits crushed a little bit each day he stays put. I'm very grateful he is healthy and safe. But I'll be grateful when he's here and I can stop the second guessing, worrying, and anxiety revolving around his well-being and labor and delivery. 40 week is already a long time to wait. So yes, I have so much to be thankful for. I have so much to look forward to. I have so much to feel excited about. I know he will be here eventually. I know I can't and won't be pregnant forever. I know how I should feel or how I could feel but right now I'm just feeling a bit worn down.

Once I'm feeling a bit more upbeat I'll write again, but that's it for now. Hope everyone's week has started off on a good foot and if it hasn't - it can only get better from here, guys.