Praise & Thanks.

Today's Point of Praise: "We give thanks to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you." (Colossians 1:3) Day #7

The theme for today is thanksgiving.  When I originally read this entry in October, I responded by writing down some of the things that I am grateful for - some of the things are simple... superficial even.  Other things are deeper.  All are meaningful to me.  Some are things I often take for granted.  A few things can almost be read as mantras... things I repeat to myself in order to let the reality of them sink in.

I reread the entry again today and it struck me as funny how the things I'm thankful for are more often than not the topic of my conversation - and not always in the most positive light.

I have great people in my support system. vs. "Why does everybody have to live so far away?"
My husband & kids are alive & healthy. vs. "I never have time for myself."
I have a beautiful house. vs. "This house is always such a mess!"
I have a car that runs with no problems. vs. "Why is this car always such a mess?"
I have a family who loves me, despite my imperfections. vs. "Why am I always such a mess..."
I am loved & appreciated. vs. "This one person said one bad thing about me and now I'm just gonna focus on that for the next eight days straight..."
I have money to buy food. vs. "Grocery shopping with kids SUCKS."
My husband provides for us. vs. "You spend more time at work than you do your own house!"

It actually reminds me of the old happies & crappies post I used to take part in every week.  Anyways, the line in the devotional that made me think to reflect on what is truly in my heart at the end of the day versus what I mindlessly complain about was this, "But when we fail to count our blessings, we rob ourselves of the happiness, the peace, and the gratitude that should rightfully be ours."

It's the truth, too.  Think & speak the positive and you end up living more positively.

"The game was to just find something about everything to be glad about -- no matter what it was.  You see, when you're hunting for the glad things, you sort of forget the other kind."  Eleanor H. Porter

"Thanksgiving or complaining -- these words express two contrastive attitudes of the soul of God's children in regard to His dealing with them.  The soul that gives thanks can find comfort in everything; the soul that complains can find comfort in nothing."  Hannah Whitall Smith

When I go dark, I feel like everything is dark.  When we have an exceptionally bad series of events, how quickly do we turn that into having a bad day/week/month/year/etc?  We can't expect to constantly live in the light and there is no sense in beating ourselves up over our lack of gratitude at times... but we do need to hold ourselves responsible for the way we carry ourselves.  The way we approach situations.  The lessons we take away from all things.  And certainly the way we treat ourselves and the rest of the people we love.

Essentially...

Thanksgiving in my heart.
Praise on my lips.

Praise You in the Storm.

Today's point of praise: "We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed." (2 Corinthians 4:8-9) Day #6

This message - adversity - was well placed in my life again... something  that I am very thankful for today. 

Reading the passage in my devotional solidified my feelings that things happen for a reason - both good and bad things. It's easy to comprehend why great moments take place in our life and to see how we deserve all of our blessings.  Though at times we may feel undeserving of our fortunes, it is usually not a topic we complain about.   It is more difficult, however, to see why the worse moments of our life happen the way they do.  We ask God in those awful moments - why? What did I do to deserve this?  How could you allow this to happen in my life?

Eventually, I just realize there is no way God can interject in our lives to keep bad things from happening to us.  Sometimes He does work in our hearts and the hearts of others in order to keep bad things from happening, but when we stray away from Him, how can He help us then?  And maybe that is why the hurt ends up happening... So that we join Him once again once we hit the bottom. 

"Every misfortune, every failure, every loss may be transformed. God has the power to transform all misfortunes into 'God-sends.'" -Mrs. Charles E.Cowman

I haven't had a relationship with God in a very long time.  I'm not using ANY one or thing as an excuse - but I will explain my thoughts on the topic.  I remember during my pregnancy with Presley in 2011, Tony and I were newlyweds and went to mass together often. (That is, after all, the first place I felt Presley kicking!) I also remember the standing, sitting, kneeling made me feel lightheaded and like I couldn't get a deep breath ever.  So I stopped urging that we go to church.  And then we had Presley and it felt so nice to go to church as a family!  I felt so supported and loved by our church community each time we were there together.  A pinicle of those early months as a new family of three was Presley's beautiful baptism.  After that?  It got difficult to attend regularly.  It was easy to find a routine that left out mass for more downtime as a family, especially when Tony was working so many hours. (This is my current rationalization as well.) In reality?  Mass is one hour a week.  Not only that, but I feel better after being there and I don't remember a time I ever left mass thinking, "man. I really regret spending the last hour here rather than [insert place here]."

Another thing keeping me from church?  Wondering if my social views align with the Catholic Church anymore. And if I find that they don't, where does that leave me?  Am I accepted in the Church anymore?  In which case, we would need to search out new churches and much uncharted territory for me. 

Best way to get started:  head to church. If it doesn't feel right, I think I will figure that out sooner or later.  And then we will cross that bridge as we get to it. 

I promise I am saying all of this to eventually make a point.  As I said yesterday, sometimes bad shit happens. We can't keep it from happening.  Sometimes the life we envision for ourself seems to fall apart.  And that sucks.  But once you can grab ahold and take a step back, the perspective will show you that it has somehow managed to bring something beautiful back into your life.  In my case, it has reignited my desire to strengthen my faith life for myself and to share it with my family.  I'm absolutely not to the point in my life where I can say absolutely, "thank you so much for giving me these things that hurt me so that they can bring me closer to you" ...I'm just not there yet nor am I sure that I will ever be. 

But where I am on my journey?  I can see my God-friends being such amazing influences for me and leading me down paths of healing and redemption.  I can see it was God helping lead me to the right comfort in times of trouble and I can see that it is God lending them the words to guide.  I'm so sad about things that have happened in my life recently that are out of my control, but it helps to stop and praise Him in the storm for the abundance bestowed on me in other areas. I know we all bear hardships and they really do suck the life right out of you.  And I hope that after reading this, you can do the same - think of & call on your blessings - when the bad times come around. 

"Gods faithfulness and grace make the impossible possible." -Shelia Walsh