Tony and I got married at the Rock Island County Courthouse on a Friday morning eight years ago.
We didn't tell any friends or family we were planning to do this... mostly because we were in the middle of planning our wedding that would happen in less than a year. We "got married on paper" so that I could have his health insurance because I was going through some minor health stuff back then. It was a very quick exchange of words mostly read unfeelingly to us by a judge. It felt really surreal.
Tony and I came up in the digital age and didn't realize these types of things were printed in the local paper regularly. Which is something my Gramma reads every day, apparently. So you can imagine my surprise when my Gramma asked when we were planning to tell her we got married!
So while I will always consider May 20th our anniversary and the day we got married... August 20th is a funny little special day I like to remember every year, too. Because it's the day I became a Duggan.
There are all different reasons to celebrate the special days that changed your life - the day someone was born, the day you met someone important, the day you married the love of your life, the day you gave birth, the day you got clean/sober. What's so amazing is usually we don't fully know how much or in what ways our lives are about to be impacted. There is no way to know how significant or incredible these 24 hours will be for days, weeks, and years to come. It starts out just like every other day.
Fourteen years ago I started dating the guy of my dreams.
I remember the day we met - or at least the day that got the ball rolling. He was wearing his yellow Old Navy sweatshirt and was riding his bike around the parking lot of Brookside Baptist. I was on my way to the soccer field for practice. I plucked up the courage and without thinking said "hey" to him and halfway expected him to say nothing. Instead he said "hey" right back to me.
I remember when I first fell in love with him - at the ripe age 13. We were on a ski trip with a bunch of kids from Brookside Baptist and we rode to and from Gatlinburg and Memphis together in the same van. We were with a bunch of our mutual friends and it was a safe space where we could just have fun and be ourselves. I got to know him a little better over the long Martin Luther King Jr. weekend in 2001 and on the way back home from the trip I was head over heels for this sweet, quiet, kind, funny, playful older guy.
I remember our first kiss. It was an accident! We were leaning in to hug each other and our heads turned the same way and our faces ended up meeting and it was so incredibly awkward considering how well we'd known each other and how much we liked each other at this point. I remember going back inside and detailing the kiss to my big sister and then dissecting it with her. And to this day I love that moment - how hilarious it is to relive and think about - and how grateful I am that our awkward first kiss happened.
I remember the day he asked me to be his girlfriend. And I remember the day I said yes. Tony had asked me to be his girlfriend before and instead of saying yes - I told him I needed more time. To be completely honest, the gravity of our relationship was too much for me at the time. It felt like the real deal from day one between us and that was intimidating. Not to mention the foundation of our relationship was sturdily built on our friendship. What if we dated and for some reason it didn't work out... I would lose my best friend. That was a risk that at the time I wasn't willing to take. My cousin came in town to visit and she told me what an idiot I was for not being his girlfriend - that he was such a nice guy and he was clearly crazy about me. I don't remember what exactly changed between us to get me to say yes, but I remember Breanne being so honest and real with me and that was a huge wake-up call to me. I remember telling him I was ready and to ask me again. He told me this was the last time asking... that he wouldn't do it again. So March 20, 2003 after asking three times and it being WAY overdue... we made it official.
I love that it coincided with the first day of Spring when it is all about growth, newness, transformation, and renewal. I'm glad Tony never gave up on me when it would have been much easier to do so. I cherish every year I've had with him and everything we've shared.
We've come a LONG way since the Brookside days... and he's still my best guy and truest friend and without a doubt the great love of my life. And the best is yet to come!
Five years ago today Tony and I were still reeling from one of the biggest days of our life.
When people talk about the happiest day of their lives they often mention the birth of their children... which I am always a little envious when they truly feel that way. That day is always so intertwined with pain and struggle and exhaustion for me. I always think about our wedding day when the topic of "best day ever" comes up. I felt so much joy and peace on that day, it was amazing. Things went wrong but all negative feelings just bounced right off of me. I had a hundred reasons to be anxious but I was excited and truly happy. My dad was missing from such a huge day of my life and I expected to feel especially empty but instead of that I felt loved and cherished by everyone present. I loved everything about marrying Tony and would do it again every year if I could. We had such a fun time with our friends and family that night! And then we headed off to Walt Disney World in all our wedded bliss.
And since then life has been amazing and absolutely crazy. We were surprised not even two months after our wedding to find out we were expecting and that began an entirely new chapter of our lives. Or really, it would just completely change life as we knew it.
It truly has not stopped or slowed down since. We came home from our honeymoon to our apartment in Silvis which we would end up moving from in the next coming months to the tiny Moline house. That's the house we brought baby Presley home to... the house we became a family in! We stayed there for around two years when we up and moved back to Memphis and lived with friends until we found our home. The Duggan family expanded just after buying our home and we brought Molly home here in 2014 not long after our third anniversary. Life here since then has been crazy and beautiful and full of laughs and tears.
Here we are, five years post-wedding, and we're staring the reality of becoming a family of five directly in the face. Never in a million years did I envision this exact life for us all those years ago. I hoped and dreamed and always thought of what could be, but the reality is so much better. Maybe not every moment of every day... because that crap is hard! (Especially parenting a strong willed child!) But the challenges certainly causes you to grow in the best ways.
One goal for this next year of marriage is to finally use our fondue pot. Yes... this is a serious goal. I'd like to get rid of so much of the unnecessary crap in our life - both the physical stuff as well as the baggage you can't touch.
Dear Lord, Continue to help us protect our hearts, our love, our marriage, our family Guide us down the path You have set for us and to put each other first along the way Teach us how to react with kindness and patience and understanding to each other and those around us and how to grow from the experience when we get it wrong Thank you for granting courage and grace and mercy in the face of personal adversity Help us to remember that as beautiful as looking back is, to live in the now and to always look forward to the future You hold for us I look forward to the surprises of year six of our marriage and finding ways to make it even better than the last Thank you for sending me a partner for the ride, please help me to love him the way You love us.
Here we are! A short few weeks away from no longer having an infant in the house... BITTERSWEET!!!
Tooth count: Eight... four up and four down.
Favorites: She love love loves green beans right now. And pouches! (Baby food in the little squeeze pouches.)
The way she downs those things you would assume we never feed her!!!
And aside from baby food & table food it's still all breastmilk and
water.
Mol Mol loves to wear hats! And she does really well at keeping bows on most of the time, too. Oh and she loves to see herself on my phone!!
Milestones & stuff: She is pulling/pushing herself up into an almost standing position lately. You can tell she really wants to walk but isn't quite ready yet.
She's also sitting up... but unconventionally. She sits in a "W" position... which we are trying to correct but it's really difficult when that's all she wants to do!
"W" sitter
Molly falls over and bumps her head DAILY. I do not remember this happening so much with Presley. If you know me (as a parent) then you might know I HATE to see my kids hurt. So I'm learning to tolerate it better or not freak out as much when it happens. Another time when I literally thank God for breastfeeding... boobs solve everything!
She's getting really good at clapping. Whenever we say, "Yaaay!" over something, she will join in and clap!
Molly is a little growler and it will never get old to me! So so cute.
Still fits into size 3 diapers but we have a couple boxes of size 4 so that's what she's been wearing lately. Also still fits into most of her 9 month clothes but we've mostly got her in 12 month clothes.
Oh and as if I really have to say it, but Molly adores Presley. And the feeling is completely mutual. They're so good to each other. Presley is protective of Molly... Molly was chewing on a spare outlet cover we have and since Presley associates the little covers with outlets, she said, "Molly! No ma'am! That's dangerous!" It makes me so happy that Presley looks out for her and cares about her wellbeing! And Presley is so proud of Mol. If we're out and about and someone starts talking to Presley, Presley will tell them, "Yeah... and this is my sister, Molly." :) When we go up to work to visit Tony she will remind him, "Kiss Molly, too" before we leave. She's just hilarious and such a sweet girl. I hope Molly knows how special and loved she is and likewise that she has a very special big sister.
Molly had the first taste of a doughnut the other day. It was a plain cake doughnut so we're taking little baby steps... but she liked it. I don't like my kids to have very many sweets - but everybody deserves a treat in moderation. I just really don't want my kids to want nothing but sugar when there are healthy alternatives to give them while they're so young. (Example: Kids get just as excited about fresh strawberries as they do a cupcake!) Ever since having gestational diabetes and my experiences at that time & education about nutrition... it's very hard to ignore doing the right things for my kids' bodies as much as possible.
Breastfeeding: It's going well. She definitely prefers my left boob to my right and sometimes she doesn't want to nurse on that side at all! So if you think my boobs look a little lopsided these days... they probably are! ;) I still would love to breastfeed her up until her 2nd birthday, but we'll see how far we get with it. I'm so happy the first year mark is right around the corner! It would be a lot more challenging without Tony's support to keep me going. Molly's been getting up frequently throughout the night (growth spurt? teething? who knows...) and he will go get her across the house for me when I am feeling 99% zombie. (Thank goodness for side-lying breastfeeding!) He fills up my big water cup whenever he notices it's low, if I need to breastfeed in the car he'll make sure and park it somewhere private, and he changes as many diapers as he can while he's home so I don't get burnt out! I'm thankful for his companionship and his partnership. {Reasons #7-12 I love my Husband}
In other news...
Amanda, Anne Marie & Matthew were here for a visit a few weekends ago and while our original plans didn't pan out, we end up having fun no matter what!
A couple days before our visitors came in town, Tony and I saw Dave Matthew's Band play in Southaven, Mississippi for our anniversary! It was such an incredible show. As if I didn'tl ove their music enough already... this concert sure made me a believer! It was a first for both Tony & I to see them in concert and such a fun way to celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary. We followed it up with a late late night trip to Waffle House before heading back home. I love having fun with him! The night just reminded me of all the magic in our relationship and how much we have to look forward to the rest of our life together.
Finishing with Grey Street was just PERFECT if you ask me!
My favorite twin-cousin just had her baby girl, Emalynn and she is so precious. The live a hefty 9+ hours away so we haven't gotten to hold her yet (dying inside!!!!!!!!!) but I know she's getting plenty of lovin' from her sweetie pie little family. Breanne's kids love me so much... Emory, for instance, was born the day before my birthday and now Emalynn chose to make her grand entrance the day after my anniversary!
I need to be holding this kid while drinking some coffee with my cousin, STAT.
And it was just Grandmommy's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SELENA!!! We got tacos (Maria's Cantina is soooo delicious!!!) and birthday ice cream and had so much fun hanging with Grandmommy and Papa for the afternoon!!!
Next it'll be Tony's birthday followed up by Molly's birthday & baptism and then Anne Marie's 3rd birthday! Hopefully we'll be able to get to Nashville again soon to have some cousin strawberry picking fun and maybe get to the zoo, too! I'm so excited for the summer. Hope everyone is having a stellar 2nd half of 2015!!!
Molly baby. I love you and your silly growls, your funny faces, and your big-ole-loving heart. I'm so lucky to be your mommy and I promise to never forget that. I might lose my patience and sometimes I can be a shitty mom... but no one will ever love you the way that I do. You light up our lives! Thank you for being my girl.
It really, really doesn't seem like all that long since our wedding day. Even more unbelievable is all that has happened in our lives since then! It's funny to think that our life would slow down after I finished college and wedding planning was over. Jokes on me! Life has been in overdrive since then and we've changed so so many things. Last names, addresses, states, jobs, family size, cars, and went from rent to a mortgage. Here's a quick glimpse of the last year of our marriage....
May 2014
June 2014
July 2014
August 2014
September 2014
October 2014
November 2014
December 2014
January 2015
February 2015
March 2015
April 2015
May 2015
Year four was a crazy, busy one! The ride wasn't always easy this last year but I absolutely love where it's lead us. One of my favorite reflections to hold onto right now is: We're not perfect people (and we don't live in a perfect world)... but why should that keep us from being happy?(Does anyone else out there find these little mantras that stick with you and help pull you along sometimes?) Life is seriously too short to dwell on and live in the negative.
It's so easy to make the focus of a marriage your children!!! So easy. Mostly because children require lots and lots of love and attention. And also because they're so darn cute and you love them so much! We're striving to remember to keep our relationship a strong, central part of our family unit. My mother-in-law coming to watch the kids to allow us a date night has been a lifesaver for that as well.
Of course we also expanded our family this last year of marriage so that was exciting, too! I worried for so long about how that would affect our family and now I can't imagine our life any other way.
I think it's important to remember that you are responsible in helping to create the marriage you would like to have. And it takes work to get there, that's for sure!
There is no one I'd rather be married to and in the end that is what I love about being married. Tony is who I want to spend my life right next to and I'm very incredibly blessed to be able to do just that.
