What I Have to Say About Breastfeeding

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Now. Let's get to the real reason I showed up to my blog today...

BREASTFEEDING!

I've felt so hesitant over the years to get into the nitty gritty of nursing babies for a bunch of different reasons - but no more. Today I'm going for it. Mostly thanks to the encouragement of a friend from high school who just gave birth to a truly beautiful baby girl. (Congratulations Wyatt & Jessica and welcome to the world sweet Lennon!) Sharing my experience with breastfeeding has been on my mind after a good conversation recently with my friend Marcennia as well. So a big thank you to both of these ladies for unknowingly nudging me to hop back on my blog and write.

For those who might be new around here: I'm a mom x3. I gave birth in 2012 to a girl, 2014 to another girl, and 2016 to a boy. Baby #1 breastfed for 23 months and baby #2 for 19 months or so. (Sorry Molly - I don't remember it as exactly!) I'm still breastfeeding baby #3 and we're nearing the 6 month mark! I feel like this will be a good reference when it comes to writing about my various breastfeeding journeys.

I'd like to start by talking about the breastfeeding worries and struggles I encountered each time.

I don't remember seeing people breastfeed or talking much about it growing up. We lived in Illinois when I was pregnant with my first baby and I went to all kinds of amazing, free parenting classes offered at Pregnancy Resources there in town. Thankfully, this included a class that solely focused on breastfeeding. I remember seeing so many bare breasts in a video that day and I couldn't stop giggling to myself. (I was 23 at the time and a lot less privy to these types of images back then.) At the end of class that day the instructor opened it up to questions from the parents-to-be. I wondered - out loud - if we were supposed to clean/sanitize our nipples before and after every feeding. This was literally how clueless I was to all things breastfeeding back then! (For those of you wondering... the answer is no!) 

Like so many other women I know, before ever having breastfed, my only real frame of reference for breasts in general was sexual. There is nothing inherently wrong with breasts being sexy - I totally agree that they are and love my breasts. But before beginning my breastfeeding journey these images were at war for me... how could breasts be sexual AND be something I fed my baby with? I worried about that quite a bit before having baby #1 and then again before having baby #3, which was my first boy. What was it going to be like breastfeeding a boy? Again, those anxieties came creeping back in. Which now sounds so silly to me - but at the time it was real. To any person who might be wondering about the same things - let me put your mind at ease.

1. There is nothing sexy about feeding your baby. It doesn't look sexual or feel sexual. Trust me!

2. There are plenty of body parts that serve us in multiple tasks which have nothing to do with one another. Take your mouth for example. You use it to eat and drink. You use your mouth to kiss someone. Two totally different functions and they don't effect the other. 

So please try not to worry about it. And if you still feel nervous about it or anything when it comes to breastfeeding, feel free to reach out to me or someone you know who has breastfed and who you can trust. It helps so much to talk your worries out and get some support! I mean it - I am totally here to support you.

I ran into different struggles with breastfeeding over the years, too. With baby #1 the hugest struggle was BOTH baby and I learning at the same time how breastfeeding worked. We were both on that learning curve and everything was new. It's hard to have no confidence in what you're doing when it comes to feeding your baby! I had help from the lactation consultant in the hospital but even that ended up being a little stressful. I remember the LC really put an emphasis on doing all the various breastfeeding positions (cradle, football hold, cross-cradle...) maybe because Presley's latch wasn't the best. But I ended up feeling so overwhelmed having to switch up the position with every feeding. We used a nipple shield a lot in the very beginning. One of the worst parts in the first few weeks were my cracked, bleeding nipples. (Thank you God for Lanolin cream!!!) It caused me a lot of pain & anxiety to put baby to breast knowing it was going to cause pain. Thankfully that was relatively short lived. Oh and another struggle? Leaking. I had no idea you needed breast pads! So once my milk came in I was a mess. Literally.

After having baby #2 I had some complications after my epidural that left me with a spinal fluid leak and debilitating head aches. For the first two weeks of her life I literally had to lay flat to escape the worst of the pain. Not being able to sit up to nurse her was pretty difficult but thankfully I was able to nurse her in the side-lying position. She seemed gassy and unhappy often and I think I had a strong letdown as well as a hind/fore milk imbalance. Once I figured those out and took steps to fix that it got better.

When it came time to breastfeed baby #3 I felt so confident. His first latch went great and it was honestly like riding a bike for me. (Once learned, never forgotten.) We got him home and man was a knocked down several rungs! I seemed to have a hind/fore milk imbalance again along with a strong letdown. Baby #3 was also very refluxy, gassy, and very unhappy as a result. I thought he might have a tongue or lip tie but that was ultimately ruled out. We got him on reflux medicine because he was projectile vomiting several times a day at this point. A month into his meds nothing was helping and it seemed like his mood had worsened. At this point not only was baby #3 gaining weight, he was gaining a lot of weight. He was prescribed a stronger medicine for the reflux but I just didn't feel right about it. I didn't give him the medicine to see if it helped his mood and symptoms or made them worse. Long story short - he did better off the medicine and eventually the vomiting was down to only once a day and then lessened from there. During this time I wanted to quit breastfeeding. I felt like it was so hard, I wasn't figuring out how to make these issues stop, and I didn't see the point of continuing all this stress on my part. Surely bottles and formula would be a hell of a lot easier that what I was currently dealing with AND I wouldn't be the only one in charge of feeding him.

And that struggle - the feeling that so much falls directly on my shoulders for baby's wellbeing - is something that I felt so strongly early on in my breastfeeding journey each time. I can't be away from baby very long... ever... especially in the beginning. (Not without introducing a bottle to baby - which can be stressful - as well as pumping milk beforehand and pumping while I'm gone so my supply isn't affected.) Another struggle all three times was breastfeeding in public. It can be scary and uncomfortable mostly because you just don't know how other people will react to it. And if you're a habitual people pleaser like I am you worry about what even the strangest of strangers think of you. Which I know is so silly but it still gives me a little anxiety from time to time. What I've come to realize is that my children take top priority. If my baby is hungry I'm going to feed him. If that makes someone else mad then it makes them mad and there is nothing I can do to control their feelings. Sure, I can nurse in a bathroom but I absolutely refuse to do that. I find it demeaning. And gross. And ladies, it helps so much to know your legal rights in regards to breastfeeding. I feel so much better when I remember that breastfeeding mothers and their children are protected and allowed to nurse in public.

If you have a partner - God bless them! Enlist their help. Their encouragement and support can make all the difference. Since you do the majority of the feeding you get so much bonding time & snuggles with your baby that they might feel they're missing out on. Here are some of my favorite ways for them to get involved:

1. Water refills. Tony is so good about this! If he notices my water is empty then he'll fill it up for me - especially while I'm feeding the baby.
2. You're in charge of the input so they can take care of the output! Simply put: they can change the diapers. In the middle of the night when baby #3 wakes up I'll wake my husband up. He changes the diaper while I use the restroom and get situated & ready to nurse. It might sound small but it helps me tremendously... mostly it just helps me to feel like I'm not in this on my own. Which I'm not!
3. Taking care of the older kids while you nurse baby!
4. Getting you a new breast pad!
5. Bringing baby to you while you get set up to breastfeed.
6. Burping the baby after you're all done! Honestly it's such a good way for daddy & baby to bond.
7. Your partner can take baby in between feedings for you.
8. Your partner can make you a snack or meal, too!

And don't be afraid to ask for help! You're doing some serious, awesome work for your family. If your partner is anything like mine then they're grateful for your sacrifice and hard work and are happy to be there for you. My guy has really gone above & beyond to support and encourage me breastfeeding our kids. He advocates for breastfeeding and it's really been a joy to see him become passionate about it over the years!

All of this leads me to my favorite part - my breastfeeding tips, advice, and a few heads-up!

• Set small, attainable goals. And definitely start small in the beginning. With baby #1 I think my first goal was the first six weeks. When I felt like it would be easier to quit breastfeeding I would go back and look at the benefits my baby was reaping at each milestone. (I literally can't tell you how many times I visited that website during my first breastfeeding journey.) This helped me tremendously to stick with it. My next goal was to make it to three months. After that it was six months. Then nine months. And all along my overall goal was one year.
• Find your village. This looks different from everyone. I reached out for support to my Facebook friends in the early days with baby #1 and without their kindness and help I really wouldn't have made it as far as I did. Some people have great La Leche League groups in their area. This time around I'm part of a Breastfeeding Moms of Memphis group on Facebook that has been an invaluable resource. (More on my village a little later!)
• Nurse laying down! Seriously. Try it. It is a life saver - especially when you are recovering from childbirth. Or sick. Or exhausted. This position literally saved our breastfeeding journey while I was dealing with the spinal fluid leak after baby #2. It has allowed me to nap next to my baby as I feed them on numerous occasions. It's the best!
• Invest in a breastfeeding support pillow and a nice nursing cover. I have two Boppy pillows and use them every single day. I've had several nursing covers over the years and my favorite cover is also made by Boppy. One of my favorite features is that you can fold it up into a little bag so it's easy to throw in your purse, diaper bag, or car and take it with you. It also actually covers everything so I feel a lot more comfortable nursing in public.
• WATER. Water. Water. Drink lots of it. Get a nice, big cup with a lid. Fill it up before you sit down to nurse. You'll feel better and it's imperative to keep your milk supply up.
• Breast pads, nursing bras, & nursing camis. Find what you like and get a bunch of them. It'll come in handy - especially when your hormones are a mess after childbirth and you sweat like crazy or when baby spits up on you often in the beginning and you're ALWAYS washing your bras and camis. I love these breast pads but I'm honestly not all that picky these days. I also really like comfy nursing bras with no underwire or extra padding. But that's just me!
• Just know that the distracted phase is real!!! It starts when baby is around 5 months and wow is it annoying! All of sudden baby just starts noticing everything around them ALL the time and will get distracted so easily. You can call it stop-and-go breastfeeding because that's what it's like... one moment baby is latched and drinking milk and the next he pops off and is babbling or trying to roll over or laughing. It helps to nurse in a dark, quiet room during this phase... but those of you with multiple kids will laugh along with me because that's just not an option. Oh and surprise... there is an arm-fat-pinching phase, too. 
• Biting while breastfeeding happens - and this often starts before any teeth show up. And it hurts like hell. It's also totally normal but that doesn't mean you have to suffer through it. You can fish hook your finger inside their mouth to break the seal they have on your nipple. You can also push their face into your breast. Sounds weird but it works. I also got some advice from a family member to flick their nose (NOT hard enough to injure them but enough to surprise them) and tell them "No biting!" when that happens. They don't like that! And that has helped all 3 of my kids to stop. Fun fact: When your baby is correctly latched they cannot bite you. Usually my kids would bite me once they were done nursing and before I took them off the breast. Teething is no fun but if you are prepared for how to deal with the biting then it should be much smoother sailing!!
• Finally, find your groove and what works for you. Sometimes that will mean using certain breastfeeding holds or doing breast compressions if your milk is slow to letdown each time. Other times it's learning to only breastfeed on one breast at each feeding because you have an oversupply. If you gave birth at a hospital with a lactation consultant you can often go back and visit them for free advice and help - make sure to call and schedule an appointment. Lactation consultants - in my experience - love what they do and they're passionate about helping you and baby learn the ropes. You might feel like your questions or concerns are small or trivial & it might require you to step out of your comfort zone but trust me it is totally worth the time and energy to ask for help & get the extra support.

I've had wonderful support within my family as well & I'm gonna take a moment to shout them out. My mom has been supportive from the beginning and breastfed me for six weeks when I was a baby! Thank you, Mom! My sisters & cousin have been there for me - not just because they love me but in their own unique ways, too. My big sister & cousin have been in the trenches with me over the last five years. My little sister has been in nursing school or working as a RN and has been ultra supportive and informative, too. My mother-in-law doesn't bat an eye while I'm breastfeeding.  We've got all kinds of family and friends who have been supportive and loving and I am so grateful for all of you!


When I felt like quitting in the first few weeks with baby #3 my village supported me in their various ways. Tony reminded me of the health benefits & that formula wouldn't solve baby's issues either. My big sister reminded me it was totally okay to quit and formula was awesome. My mother-in-law straight up told me I couldn't quit. Most importantly was that they cared enough to weigh in and be there for me!

And above everything else, I couldn't have breastfed without my three kiddos. They're awesome little rockstars who make me want to be the best version of myself. They're also the reason I started drinking coffee regularly... #mommyconfession

Marriage Monday: Stop Fighting in Front of Your Children!

"The greatest gift a man can give his children is to love their mother. The greatest gift a woman can give her children is to love their father."

Rabbi Shmuley

Being a parent, your number one priority is to protect your children - whether it is preventing physical, emotional, or psychological harm.

Support your newborns neck... Never leave your child unattended on your bed... Don't start solids too soon... Make sure the car seat is installed properly... Bottle-propping is a no-no... Set the thermostat between 68-72 degrees at night!  

From day one, you are given lists of cautionary rules concerning your child's physical harm that are given to new parents to give your child the best chance of surviving and if you are anything like my husband and I, you find out what works as you go but you are deathly afraid of breaking any rules up front.  These rules are typically pretty black and white so they are fairly easy to follow.  However, when it comes to meeting your child's psychological needs, the rules tend to blur into the gray area.  To be fair, most parents aren't always properly equipped with how to meet those needs as there are far more guidelines given to parents concerning physical well-being over anything else.  So let's talk about the psychological health topic concerning family conflict - more primarily, the effects of fighting in front of your kids.

As you already know, marital conflict is inevitable.  You are not only dealing with the normal stresses of life, but on top of it you've now got first time parenting stresses as well.

Fact is:  Parenting can be DRAINING. 

It's very hard on a marriage when you don't always get the moments to recharge your batteries as husband and wife, especially in those early days.  {It's common knowledge in our household that the baby days - and most of the first year of parenting - is all about just surviving!}  Taking all this into consideration, it's likely that your emotions will get the best of you once in a while and you will make the mistake of arguing in front of your kids.  It happens!  Like I said before, it's not always common knowledge just how awful it is for parents to fight in front of the children.  While it's absolutely not a fun topic to write or read about - children deserve for their parents to preserve their innocence.  And this is precisely why writing on this topic is so important to me - if this reaches and educates another parent who can do better for their child, I will be supremely happy.

SIX "Stop Fighting in Front of your Kids" FACTS:

• Children are NOT emotionally equipped to handle fights.  There is nothing within them to handle that kind of trauma.
• When children are exposed to the tensions that accompany arguments and fighting, they begin to lose the belief in the underlying unity of the world.  At this point, they begin to believe the world is all about conflict.
• Children LEARN what they LIVE.  {It doesn't matter how much you teach your kids about being peaceful, loving and respecting others - they won't believe a word you say if you aren't practicing what you preach.} 
• Therefore, if your children seeing you bully one another, they learn to bully others.  This includes bullying you once they are in their teenage years!  Just don't condemn your children to a future with that unhealthy pattern.
• When you and your spouse lose your temper in front of your kids, don't just sweep it under the rug.  Do take a moment to apologize separately to your children.  But know that if you do this too many times, your apology will not mean very much.
• At all costs, AVOID arguing adult topics in front of your kids.  (Examples:  Your sex life, your husband's hangover, etc...)  Also, AVOID arguing about decisions concerning your kids in front of your kids.  Work out disagreements over rules for your children BEHIND closed doors.

Here is some great insight to focus on the next time you start to feel out of control for those of us who feel like we simply "can't" control our anger...

It's not that you can't... it's that you don't control your anger. Have you had fights at your boss's house? At church? At a restaurant with friends? You don't do it when you can't.

Dr. Phil

So, keep that in mind next time - you are CHOOSING to put your child in the middle of your argument.  In reality, YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON YOU CAN CONTROL.  Take a moment and let that sink in.

When it comes to occasional, respectful disagreements in front of your kids with your spouse, those can actually be helpful for your children to witness.  It is role modeling healthy ways to deal with conflict.  After all, if your children never see healthy techniques for dealing with conflict, they will be unprepared to handle their own conflict out in the real world.  

Healthy: Forward progress and problem solving in front of your children.   
Unhealthy: Venting Resentments, name-calling, and repeating the same points over and over in front of your kids.  

As a rule of thumb, remember what I shared from Dr. Frank's marriage tips? "Arguments are a natural part of any relationship, but cruelty is not. Above all, happily married partners see each other as allies, not as adversaries."   

No name calling.  No foul language.  No yelling.

These are GREAT tips for EVERY marriage - whether or not kids are involved or not.  If you are a faithful person, give yourself a moment before you engage in an argument with your spouse and pray... you would be surprised how calming this can be!

If you find that the arguing between you and your spouse is getting out of control, try not to isolate yourself.  Surround yourself with those who love you so they can support and encourage you.

Jesus said, "It is more blessed to give than to receive."  (Acts 20:35)  But I also believe that in order to truly give, you must know what it is to truly receive.  When tragedy strikes... don't cut yourself off from the world.  Instead, reach out to your friends and family, and to God.  Then you will know what it is like to receive, and as a result you will know how to give to others. 

Taken from "The Vow" - Kim and Krickitt Carpenter

And finally, if all of these tips fail... call a time-out with your spouse!  You can pick this argument back up in a more remote place - away from your children's watchful eyes and listening ears.

I need support, where do I turn?
Oprah: Fighting in Front of Your Children
Dr. Phil: Stop Fighting in Front of the Kids
The Dangers of Arguing in Front of Your Kids - family.go.com
Arguing in Front of Children - womansday.com
Smart Marriages: The coalition for marriage, family, and couples education

Giving Thanks.

Like I did last year, I'd like to post 10 things that I am thankful for this year for Thanksgiving.  True to form, I am a little late in putting my blessings into writing - just like last year... but better late than never!  (Which is pretty much my life motto.)

Being a stay at home mom.  I know I am lucky to be able to stay home with Presley each day.  Though it's been something I have taken for granted from time to time, I can see that in hindsight it has given the two of us the chance to create an unbreakable bond.  I feel that this was especially important especially since I was experiencing the baby blues (if not post-partum depression) big time in the beginning - if we hadn't gotten this chance to work on our bond then I have no idea what our relationship would look like at this point.  Just solidifies my belief in everything happening for a reason.

My husband's job.  If it wasn't for Tony's job and the fact that he is such a hardworking, dedicated man, I wouldn't have the opportunity to stay home with Presley full time.  He has gotten laid off from work in the past, but thank the Lord, that hasn't happened since becoming pregnant or bringing Presley home.  We. Are. So. Blessed.  He loves Presley so much, so I know what a sacrifice it is for him to wake up at the crack of dawn and leave his family each day, but we are so thankful for such an amazing man in our life.

Reliable transportation.  A few months ago I was having car trouble and it got progressively worse really quickly and because it is a 1992, we figured that maybe it was time to say goodbye to my car.  Thankfully, that was not the case!  All that needed to be replaced was the timing belt and thanks to our trusty mechanic, it was also fixable within our budget.  We had planned to buy a new family car in a year or so, but because my car was gone for a while (and Tony's civic is a two-door & not much of a family car), we decided to go ahead and buy our family car!  So now I drive our Honda Fit and Tony drives our '92 Corolla to work everyday.  The extra bills are a pain in the ass, but thankfully we are also making that work as well.

Presley.  She has the best laugh, the sweetest smile, and a personality that I'm in awe of.  She makes me want to be a better person every second.  God knew what he was doing when he sent Presley to us; she made our new, little family so solid - even though at any given moment we felt like we were on shaky grounds because we had absolutely no idea what we were doing!  When we first brought Presley home, I was almost mourning over the fact that it would never be just the two of us (Tony and I) ever again... mostly because it had been just us two for so many years through dating and our engagement.  We have a greater appreciation for our alone time as husband and wife so much more than before.  Presley has given us such a sense of purpose - whoever said threes a crowd was certainly not talking about our family!  She is the best baby we could have ever been given.

My husband.  I could never have asked for a more fun partner or a more loving father for our kids (assuming we will have more in the future).  Though we continue to have our ups and downs, we work through them and love each other more through each bump in the road.  Our life may not be full of glamor - usually it's full of diapers & drool, but it is full of huge smiles.  And I would marry him all over again in a heartbeat.

Weekly play dates.  I can NOT forget to mention the weekly play dates Megan and I have been having because they have really kept me sane and given me so much to look forward to every week!  We are so blessed to have friends with girls around the same age as Presley; not only are they going to be great friends to Presley over the years, but they have already helped Presley learn new things!  After each of our play dates, Presley comes home doing something new almost every time.  Alli and Molly have taught her how to wave, how to use her voice, and even how to army crawl.  I know she would have done these things eventually, but I kid you not, she watches these girls and imitates them like crazy!  And I am so lucky to have Megan as a friend!!!  I consider myself very lucky to know the Ebner/Darras family.

 Friends.  The friends who still want to be with me even though I've changed so much in the last year; who are truly understanding of my insatiable need to be with my family as much as I can since bringing Presley home; friends that have no problem picking up where we left off - whether it was a few days since we last talked or a few months.  I really have learned that it's quality, not quantity when it comes to friends - that has never been more true than now.  And dear lord, I cannot forget to mention my mom friends. I've gotten so much help along the way from various mom friends through encouraging words, listening ears, helpful advice, hand-me-downs, and unconditional support and love!  If it takes a village to raise a child, it certainly takes just as much if not more to condition a mama!  I'd be lost without everyone along the way - including all my fellow blog moms.

Health.  Enough said.  We are happy and healthy and that is something I will never, ever forget to give thanks for.

Family.  I know bragging is an unbecoming quality, but you guys, I have the best in-laws imaginable - I am SO in love with Tony's family!  Though I have known and loved them for quite some time now, they continue to surprise me with how much they care about one another and the amount of love and support they give freely.  I'm also so thankful for all our family members who have brought little ones into this crazy world this past year - Tony's cousin Danielle had baby boy John in May, my sister Amanda had baby girl Anne Marie in July, and my cousin Breanne had baby boy Emory this month!  Presley is going to be blessed with playmates and I've already been so blessed with having these three new moms to lean on!  Not to mention, my little sister Ashley has just been such a blessing in showing so much love and understanding and support to me throughout the last nine months - I can always turn to her and I am so thankful that will always stay the same.  I'm also thankful for having my mom live so close to us as well as the amazing time we had with my family (plus all the amazing Asians!!!!) for Thanksgiving!

Goals.  This might seem a little weird - but I am so thankful for the goals we've set for our family.  I know that our plans aren't always the plans God have for us - and BOY have we learned that over the last year!!! - but I am so hopeful and excited for our future... wherever that may lead us. 



What are you guys most thankful for this year?

Happy 9 month birthday, my little turkey!

Wow.  I know I say this every month - and I will probably be saying this for the rest of my life - but I cannot believe how fast the time is going!  Our little baby girl is a mere three months away from her first birthday!  And it truly feels like just yesterday that we were celebrating her THREE month birthday! As I said before, she weighed in at 16 pounds 13.5 ounces and was 27 inches tall!  Her head (75%) and height (between the 50-75%) have followed the same curve as always but her weight has started to drop off her curve (25%).  We will go back in a month to weigh her to make sure everything is okay.

I learn more and more about Presley everyday, especially as her personality develops and emerges.  As much as I enjoy hogging her to myself, I think one of my favorite things is watching how she interacts with other people.  Here is what my little beauty has been up to...

• She no longer keeps bows on her head.  Once she realizes it's there, she reaches up and tugs it down off her head with no problem.  She is getting strong and extremely smart!
• Presley's outgrown most of her 6-9 month clothing (especially her pants) and is moving into her 9-12 month stuff.  She's been in 12 month sleepers for a few weeks now, but we only have a few of them.  Does anyone know a good place to buy sleepers?  I know you can get them just about anywhere, but I am looking for good quality, a good deal, and something warm enough for this time of year.
• Ladies and gentlemen, we have a semi-crawler!  She is more of a scooter and spin-around-in-a-circle kinda girl... but hey, whatever works!  She is really getting around these days.
• We had our first choking experience this past weekend with Presley.  And wouldn't you know it was one of those child-friendly puffs?  My mom had literally just taught me what to do in case that were to ever happen - so it was fresh on my mind.  I picked her up as fast as I could, faced her body/face downward, and smacked her on the back a few times.  The puff and some puke came right up and she was just fine.  I'm sure she would have gotten the puff down herself without my intervening, but I wasn't going to take that chance.  I'm not gonna lie, I really felt like a bad ass in that moment.  And a capable mommy.  My mom was there to witness it all, too, and she said, "You really did everything just right!"  Sounds like I had a good teacher, thanks Mom! ;)
• Still in a size 3 diaper, still loves water in her sippy cup, and is getting more comfortable with dogs!
• Sleep training using the Ferber/progressive waiting method was a SUCCESS!  And Presley is also taking a daily nap (usually) lasting about an hour and a half most days.  This is WONDERFUL.  If any of you moms would like to know any more about our experience, just let me know and I'd be happy to share more in depth.

• She's learning to give kisses and every so often if you ask nicely enough, she complies and there is absolutely nothing sweeter than baby kisses.
• Still a little waving machine!  But only when the mood arises.  Her mood has been hit and miss this past week - Tony and I think it's another round of teething!
• Presley is even more into table food these days.  She thinks that whatever Tony and I eat are fair game for her!  This is why we wait to eat dinner until after she's in bed most nights, though we don't mind sharing the things that she can eat.
• We think she had a negative reaction to either quinoa or broccoli last week.  She had eczema-type rashes all over her so we are gonna wait to give her either of those for a little bit.  This is the first time she's reacted negatively to any foods!
• We've made it to our 9 month breastfeeding goal!  And I certainly couldn't have done it without all the support I've gotten along the way - especially the support and encouragement I receive from my husband every day.  So, it's time to set the BIG goal, FINALLY!  Our next goal is to keep breastfeeding until 12 months and I don't see us stopping now.
• Presley shared one of her snacks with me the other day.  I asked her if Mama could have one and I leaned forward & opened my mouth - she picked up on of her little snacks and dropped it in my mouth!!!  I was shocked!  She didn't do it again, though, and was quick to shove those little snacks in her own mouth from then out!
• So excited to celebrate our first Thanksgiving as a family of three with friends and family this week!  Looking forward to good food and good times and especially getting the chance to meet and hopefully love on the newest baby in our family - mister Emory!  (I say hopefully because there will be a lot of excited family members there to hold this new sweetie.)

This is unrelated to Presley's development - but if I hear one more person comment on how "spoiled" my child is [what does that even mean??] because I care for her all day or because I tend to her needs as they come - I will possibly snap.   
So look everyone, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
Please know that it is in my opinion that there is no such thing as spoiling a child with too much love; that makes absolutely ZERO sense.  There is also no such thing as a perfect parent - so when you can look me square in the eyes and tell me you are the perfect parent, then and only then can you comment negatively on the choices I make for my family.  I am open for fluid conversations.  I can take constructive criticism (if it comes from a good place).  I don't think I can take anymore talking behind my back without confronting people or being talked down to without getting personal.  Is this how every new or young mother feels?  If so, then why is it that our society feels that this type of behavior is acceptable?  Why do we feel we've earned the right to judge others?

On another note, one of my friend's mom made a comment just the other day that I was doing a fine job on raising Presley and while it was just very casually made, it really meant a great deal to me.  It also made me reflect on how I talk to others; do I encourage the people I love?  Either way, it was one of the best compliments I could have gotten at this point in my life and a great reminder to be a light to others!

All in all, I am in love with my life.  I love my friends.  I love my family.  I love my sweet nine month little girl.  I am so beyond blessed.  I wouldn't have picked this path for my life but that is what is so amazing about God's plan - it is so much better than our own!  I will leave you guys with some recent pictures -- much love and happy Thanksgiving to you guys; I hope everyone shares the day with some delicious food and reflecting on the people who bring you joy.

Two of my best friends - Katie S. and her nephew, Harlan - Katie D. and her nephew Landyn!
Both of them live out of town and it was so nice to get together while they were here.  Miss them so much!

Molly, Alli, & Presley at their latest hangout session.  Two and a half weeks until the twins are ONE!

Another one of my best friends, Betsy, posing with Presley!

My mom and Presley shortly after the choking incident. 
Presley gave her Gramma/Grammy a kiss before she left, too!

Three and a half weeks stronger!

So, this won't be much of a post, but I just wanted to write quickly that things are going well these days!

I think it helps tremendously that we are really getting a nightly routine together and Presley is starting to become a wonderful nighttime sleeper!!!  (I am SO proud of her!)  We are still laying down around 10pm -- some nights she doesn't get to sleep until 11pm but other nights she will drift right off!  She's sleeping about 3-4 hours between feedings and we'll usually get up for the day between 10am-noon.  I've been swaddling her the past couple of nights and she almost always uses her pacifier.  She's still in her bassinet in our room at the foot of our bed.  Thankfully, Tony is a very sound sleeper and he can sleep through our mid-night feedings, getting up for diaper changes, and even through her cries!  He's working about 11 hours each day and a few hours on Saturdays... this is fabulous for our bank account but I miss him so much throughout each day and wish we had more time together.  I know all this overtime isn't going to last forever, but right now is when I need his love, help, and support most.

Thank goodness for the friends and family members who have been supporting me each and every day, reassuring me that I'm strong enough and can make it through the day.  Oh, and thank GOD for TV shows like the Big Bang Theory, the Ellen Show, Two & a Half Men, Family Feud, the Chew & the Revolution.... shows I watch EVERY day that keep me laughing and feeling normal until I have some real adult interaction!!!

During the day I hold Presley while she naps on and off and even though I'm terribly afraid she'll never let me set her down ever again, I truly love bonding with her.  She already smiles all the time (but not really on purpose yet) and makes the funniest/sweetest faces ever; I am CONSTANTLY kissing her cheeks, head, etc! 

I've gotten so much more confident already in being a parent but I still cripple under all this responsibility that I'll have for the rest of my life.  (Oh.my.God!)  I feel more like myself these days, which I am hoping is a sign that my raging hormones have returned to somewhat normal-- I'm sure I'll never be "normal" again!  And I really do think that since we've gotten a better night routine down that this is helping things tremendously.  Unfortunately, I am caffeine-free in order to help our nightly routine, but honestly... it is worth it right now!  I'd rather continue breastfeeding (aka, saving money instead of buying formula!) more than I'd rather have an ice cold Coke!  (I really do miss it though and hate to see a Coca Cola commercial!!!!)  But 7-Up is doing the trick for me once a day!

Alright, that's all for this post.  Thanks again for all the support on the last post everybody... I appreciate it more than any of you may really know.  All the positivity, encouragement, love, laughs, and sharing your personal experience really makes me realize that I can and will do this and I will survive!!! :)  Keep it coming!

Fulfillment.

One thing I am SO incredibly thankful for is the support I've gotten throughout my pregnancy from various women in my life.  Whether they are my coworkers & mom's from the kids gym, family members, friends, fellow-bloggers, strangers... these ladies have helped to make this time in my life a positive experience.  Each person comes from a different background and has experienced separate things from one another therefore giving me a more holistic view of pregnancy, motherhood, and all the stages you may encounter as a woman.  I've gotten to know these various women on a different level than before as they share with me their personal and intimate stories (childbirth, parenting, etc.), their frustrations and joys throughout it all, all while making me and my nine month journey seem totally new and special.  The connections you make with people change you and this is the reason (or... one of the many) it fulfills me to work around children and families.

Like I said before, I have been really lucky to find a group of women to keep in touch with throughout our pregnancies via facebook, blogspot, and various other online means.  It's incredible to see the similarities and differences we've encountered.  One of the people I've had so much fun following is the hilarious Megan (Life lessons of a crazy hormonal pregnant lady) throughout her pregnancy with "Herman Sherman" (I will be so thrilled to learn his REAL name once it's unveiled after his birth).  She recently made a list of things she's looking forward to accomplishing once she's just a regular crazy hormonal lady! :)  I thought it was such a fun idea to compile a personal list of "to do's" once I'm no longer a vessel of human life so I've decided to partake in the fun.  (However, I, too, will be breastfeeding postpartum, so some of these will have to wait or will need special accommodations for them to happen... but oh boy, they WILL be happening!)  Without further ado...

10 things I'm SUPER excited to do postpartum!

#10.  Driving my happy butt up to Starbucks and ordering a VENTI tuxedo!!!!  I am not one to over-indulge on the warm coffee drinks from Starbucks... mostly because the high price and amount of calories... so I stick with ordering a tall.  However, this will be the most joyous of occasions and I will HAPPILY over-indulge! 

#09.  ZUMBA!!!!!  I know that so many women keep up with their workout routines, but I was not one of them.  (Hello extra weight!)  And you know what?  I feel justified in it.  I spent months beating myself up over it and have not enjoyed having others willingly comment on my weight and figure in less than beautiful ways, but I realize that my baby is healthy as far as we know and THAT is most important to me in this moment.  So, I am going to be abso-freaking-lutely THRILLED to get back to my Zumba (aerobic dance) class and shape my happy butt, hips, and thighs to fun, loud music!  I always leave that class in a better mood than I walked in with and a smile on my face!!

#08.  Going to Chili's and enjoying a delicious margarita with my husband!

#07.  I am so excited to be able to ride roller coasters again!  Not that I will be going anywhere to take advantage of this anytime soon, just KNOWING that I can makes me so happy.  We got invited to go to Six Flags a few months ago and I was super excited until I realized that I wouldn't really be able to do anything there after all.  Needless to say, we didn't partake in that adventure, but I am excited to be able to do that if the opportunity comes along.  (So now, in my daydreams about revisiting Walt Disney World, I will be able to ride all the rides in my head... YAY!)

#06.  Enjoying a nice, long, luxurious soak in a hot tub (at a million degrees!) and visiting the steam room at the Y and being able to half-suffocate in all it's glory again!  :) 

#05.  Being able to sit flat on the floor with ease again.  It's incredible how something so (seemingly) insignificant can really impact you throughout the day. 

#04.  While we're at it, I will be happy to be able to sit, lay, stand, etc. in WHATEVER position I want!  Perhaps I am most excited to lay flat on my back!!!!

#03.  Handing the baby off to my husband!!!!!  Man, THIS WILL BE A WONDERFUL FEELING!  We've joked throughout my pregnancy about this...

Me: carrying stuff into the house from the car...
Tony: "Want me to take something?"
Me: "Ugh, yeah, Presley is really killing my back... mind carrying her for the next little bit?"

And it will be fabulous to be able to REALLY do this!  Whether it's Tony taking her so I can take a short nap, carrying her in her carrier because it's for sure going to get heavy, or just holding her while we're out when my arms get tired -- it will be so fantastic to not be the only one caring for her/physically carrying her 100% of the time!

#02.  SUSHI!  I am not one who has been super restrictive on what I eat -- I've had lunch meats, tuna & seafood, and caffeine while being pregnant and my doctor is okay with it!  I don't go overboard on any of the aforementioned items and I stay within safe limits of those things, but sushi is one thing I chose not to really mess with.  I will be so excited to eat sushi again and order my steak and burgers MEDIUM again!

#01.  Okay I honestly can't find of one thing I am more excited to do than to see my baby girl's precious face!!!!!!!!!!  I know this list was intended to be about things I'm excited to do for myself once I'm no longer pregnant, but I can't think of anything I am more excited to see or do!  I want to see her skin, her eyes, her hair... her tiny toes and fingers... her big belly, her lips, backbone, EVERYTHING!!!  I can't picture what any of that is going to look like - but I can tell you I get weepy just thinking about it all and I look forward to holding her and taking it all in. 



EXTREMELY BLESSED,