April.

We're 1/4 of the way through 2017 already. They say with parenting the days go by slowly but the years go by fast and so far in my parenting journey that is so very true. It has hit me like a rock that my sweetheart is going to kindergarten later this year as her time in preschool is coming to a close.

It was hard for me to trust someone else with her. It was hard letting go for the first time. All those feelings are coming back up all over again. A new school, teacher, staff, class... everything. I guess I never really expected to feel this way. When she was a baby and we were blindly stumbling through the newborn days I fantasized of this day. (#mommyconfession) I couldn't wait for the day that I could drop her off at school and have my life to myself again. Or at least for those hours she was gone. Maybe once I get to know the staff at her new school I'll feel more comfortable but it is so scary to trust complete strangers to care for your kid. To love them. To treat them with respect. To help them. To show them kindness and patience. To protect them. To pay attention while so many things are going on around them. It's a lot to ask. And it's exactly why I have stayed home with my kids for the last five years instead of being a two income family.

So, it's April. We're one month closer to the end of the school year. We're one month away from our six year wedding anniversary. We're a month closer to Molly's 3rd birthday. And this month we've got a little guy hitting the HALF year mark (blog to come soon on that).

And now since it's Friday, I'm gonna share a few of my end-of-the-week MVPs!

For the first one, let's start off with a little backstory... TEN whole years ago I was 19 and had just moved back to Memphis from Illinois. I went to a group interview at Build-A-Bear Workshop and somehow tricked them into hiring me by the end of it! From that job I learned so many great things from my bosses at the time about work ethic and kindness. I am forever grateful for my experiences there and for the good memories... it was incredible to work for such a wonderful company and to work with some really compassionate people. One of my FAVORITE things I picked up from my time there (besides the phrase "if you have time to lean then you have time to clean!") I learned from my boss, Paula. Our store was part of an outdoor mall and across the parking lot was a Barnes & Noble with a Starbucks inside. A couple times she had me grab her her favorite drink - a black tea lemonade - from there and after a couple times I decided to try it myself. At first I thought it was disgusting until Paula told me you could also get it sweetened. So thank you Paula - you are one of my MVPs for introducing me to the drink I have been in love with for the last ten years! My favorite thing to do is to go to either Target or Kroger and order a trenta black tea lemonade with light ice & half 3 pumps of classic syrup and sip my drink while I shop! (Especially if the kids are along.) Then I'll stop on my way out to get a free refill thanks to my Starbucks Gold Card! #BTLFTW!

A few years ago we moved back to Memphis from Illinois... again for me... and this time we were looking for a new dentist. I reached out to my Facebook friends for their referrals and among them a friend of mine was super enthusiastic about the staff at Schilling Farms Dental. They accepted our dental insurance, sounded super great on the phone, and had openings for us relatively soon so we decided to give them a try. And I'm SO GLAD we did because we just love them. They're thorough gentle, and caring with us and our kiddos. Not only that - but our dentist is a Disney fan who loves being a dad to his three daughters - so he is someone I can relate to on a personal level. Recently a super sweet friend of mine was similarly looking for a new dentist and decided to give them a try. And just like us they had a great experience! It feels good to give friends a good place to go and to give our dental office the business they definitely deserve. So, Kaela, thank you so much for sending us to them! You da real MVP!!!

Kaela, her cousin Kelsi, & myself WAY back when I first met them!

And my last end-of-the-week MVP goes to the Memphis Zoo! We are so grateful to be members at such a nice zoo but the reason they made it into my blog is because they're totally having a baby boom there right now and I love it! In the last few weeks they've had a giraffe birth and also a hippo birth. I feel lucky to see these little animals in person but for my kids to experience that is pretty incredible as well. Now if they could just have a baby rhino addition to our zoo and on display then I would be in heaven!!!

We haven't seen the new baby on exhibit yet but we love seeing the adult hippos

Hope everyone had a great week and has something wonderful to look forward to in the weekend!!!

Baby 3.0: 38 Weeks & Counting...

So here we are, 38 weeks pregnant. All along I've thought I would have had Crosby by now! I thought since baby #1 came one week early and that baby #2 came two weeks early that baby #3 would be three weeks early and keep with the pattern. But now we're inside the two week mark to my due date and it has me wondering... what if this kid actually waits until my due date - or beyond?!

38+ weeks along in my third pregnancy... 12 days to go until my due date! But who's counting?

I am feeling: Surprisingly I feel pretty great still! I really think a lot of that is due to the fact that with two little ones to keep up with all day/everyday I just haven't had much of a choice otherwise! It's kept me busy and moving and focused on other things. Sleep is not perfect BUT it's still great. I pee all.the.time these days. My appetite isn't huge these days or rather it comes and goes. What else?

Baby's size: He's the size of a spaghetti squash! Although I can't know for sure yet, he is likely to be somewhere around 7 pounds by now & over 19.5 inches long. You can tell he's running out of room, still, because when he moves around you can see every bit of it.

{L to R} 38 weeks pregnant with Presley (Feb 2012), Molly (June 2014), and Crosby (September 2016)

Cravings: Things that have been sounding especially delicious: a DQ Reese's blizzard with extra Reese's, Lebanese/Mediterranean/Greek food, and so many Italian dishes sound delicious, too. We've been doing really well when it comes to eating at home lately but I did cave and headed to Cedar's Restaurant for my favorite dish after my appointment last week. I told the guys working there hopefully they wouldn't see me for a while - because that would mean I'd had my baby - but looks like I might need to make another stop there after my appointment Wednesday!

High of the week: Watching the Cowboys play again this week!!! And they played awesome which culminated in them beating the Redskins. Afterwards we headed to Blake & Kaitlyn's wedding which was so beautiful! Unfortunately the girls and I couldn't stay long because Molly decided that jumping and sitting in puddles seemed like a great idea so she was filthy! We headed home early for bath time!  One thing I absolutely LOVE about weddings is that they're so beautiful and the love is often tangible. It reminds me exactly why I fell in love with Tony and left me feeling incredibly grateful to be married to my best friend and the man who is my partner in this life.

We also had a meeting at Presley's preschool earlier in the week to hear more about their vision for the four-year-old's this year and it was just perfect! After the meeting I felt so confident in our choice to send Presley to school and felt even better about our choice in school. I know she's exactly where she needs to be! Several times in the meeting I got teary-eyed because I was so moved by the sentiments shared by those in charge there. So thankful for Hope Preschool!

Low of the week: I will take it as a huge win that I can't think of a low for this week!!! I'll go out on a limb and say that it was probably the fact that Crosby still isn't here yet! I know there is no rush - but I'm ready and I kinda wish he was, too!

What I'm excited about: Seeing Crosby's face. I can't imagine what he looks like I can't wait to see him and hold him! Even if it doesn't happen some time in the immediate future, my due date is only 12 days away! Can you tell this is a mantra I'm hanging onto these days?! I'm also excited about finishing up my hospital bag. I know... I know... should've been totally done already but procrastinators gotta procrastinate! It's 90% put together as of now but it'll be so nice to pack it completely and zip it up and be done with it. I'm also excited that Presley's new booster seat comes in this week! Once it comes in I think we'll go ahead and install it in the way back of the van, move Molly over to Presley's old seat, and go ahead and install Crosby's seat!!!! I can't wait! It'll make everything all the more real.

That's it for this week! I'm waiting on pins & needles for my next appointment and hoping that maybe this is the week we'll get to meet our baby boy!!!

Baby 3.0: 35/36 Weeks + Presley in Pre-K!

Ugh, so, I've been slacking on the blog front this week. And so many fun things have happened since I last wrote so there will be lots to share!

Let's start by updating with what I should've finished/meant to post LAST week for when I hit the 35 week mark:
35 Weeks!

I'm feeling: NOT great today. My stomach/abdomen is just feeling really weird. It's not hurting - per-say - but it's just not feeling great. It honestly reminds me of contractions but at the same time it somehow doesn't feel like them. Ugh. Super contrary and making little to no sense, I know, but that's the best description I've got. I also had some really bad nights with heartburn! Thankfully it hasn't been a huge issue lately but I didn't really experience much of that with my first two pregnancies so that has been not fun!

Cravings: I think I could eat gyros and the amazing Mediterranean food at Cedars Restaurant literally everyday. Aside from that I don't really think I've had many/any true cravings lately. But I suppose you'd have to ask my husband!

Baby's size: About 5-6 pounds & 18-19 inches this week!

{L to R} 35 weeks pregnant with Presley, Molly, & Crosby

High of the week: Definitely our baby shower!!! We had so much fun with everyone who came out! Selena really did so much work to put together a super fun shower and it really was. The food, cake, & drinks were yummy, too. My favorite was definitely seeing everybody. Life is so busy these days for all of us and it feels so great to see everybody & catch up. We played a couple games - one where we guess how many M&M's were in two baby bottles, another game where you had to chug 2oz. of liquid (either tea, apple juice, or cranberry juice) out of a newborn baby bottle in the shortest amount of time, and a game where you had to guess the right amount of string to wrap all the way around my belly. We also tie dyed a ton of onesies We really have the greatest friends and family who showed up to have fun and brought some really sweet gifts for Crosby.

Low of the week: I don't know if you can quite call it a "low" BUT the rollercoaster moment of Presley beginning pre-k was finally upon us - and has since passed. And man did I cry! She did so wonderfully and was so excited and zero tears from our sweet girl on her first day. She is so curious and smart and sweet and just wonderful. None of my apprehension about this phase beginning for us/her has ever had anything to do with worries that she wouldn't do well or love it - it was all mostly just about my own feelings or worries. Anyways, she did great. Tony took the day off (thank God for him!) because originally he worried about how Molly would take the transition. Turns out, it was me he should've been worried about! I started crying the moment we turned our back on her classroom. I ducked into the nearest bathroom to get my cry on and to also attempt to pull myself together. (Spoiler: It didn't work!!!) We had a long walk through her school until we got to the parking lot and I actually contemplated wearing sunglasses down the hallway to mask my puffy face. I got it together as much as I could and then once we made it to the van I had a nice little sob. Then Tony, Molly, and I headed to Target and to the Children's Museum to make the day special for Molly and not-so-lonely for me.

Me and Presley walking into school on her FIRST day of pre-k

Molly walking Presley into school on Presley's second day

And now, more currently:
36 Weeks!

I'm feeling: Just huge. Nothing is super comfortable anymore. Not even our fluffy bed! Anything that is soft is now TOO soft (beds, couches, etc.) and therefore impossible to get out of when I need to! When you've got young kids there are so many times where sitting on the floor is necessary and getting up from the floor has been really interesting lately. I'm also feeling a little bit of anxiety about labor and delivery... but you know you're in dire straits when delivering this baby seems like the better option!

Cravings: Hmm... not really craving a whole heck of a lot lately. Tacos sound really good, but that's probably because we haven't had them in a while. Food is great but I haven't got a huge huge appetite lately!

Baby's size: A ripe papaya... but trust me, I'm pretty sure we've already reached watermelon status.

36 weeks with Presley & Crosby

High of the week: Tony having three days off in a row! Oh man, it has been so wonderful. We visited the new parts of Shelby Farms twice over the long weekend and had a really fun time there. We also got to hang out with some family friends that I grew up with from church this weekend and it fantastic - the girls had such a blast and so did we.

Low of the week: I can't really come up with a low yet... but perhaps Tony going back to work tomorrow? That won't be very fun. Couple that with Presley going back to school and still trying to work out our new "normal" here at home without Presley a few days a week and it's either going to make for a really interesting, great day or not so great. It's crazy how much of a big help Presley is with Molly around here. This isn't exactly new information for me, but the depth of how much I rely on Presley for the little things hit me last week when she wasn't around. Anyways, tomorrow won't be as much fun when I'm missing 2 of my favorite people.

What I'm looking forward to: My doctor's appointment! I'm starting to see him every week now so hopefully I'll find out even more about how things are progressing or our outlook for labor and delivery.

Sorry for the photo overload AND for being so late at getting these written and posted... but now we're all up to date! Hope there was something in here to keep you interested... if not, don't worry. Life will be getting pretty darn interesting around here soon so stay tuned :)

Baby 3.0: 33 Weeks

33 weeks pregnant with Crosby with about 7 weeks left to go!

I'm feeling: My energy has been in short supply. Sleep is getting a little trickier. My patience have been thinner than usual lately, or at least it has felt that way. I told Presley and Molly earlier this week (after Molly was really testing me in the store) that my patience were so tiny I could barely see them! Tonight at bedtime Presley was playing with her buddies and Tony and she told one of her buddies she couldn't see her patience because they were so small. It was HILARIOUS to hear that come out of her mouth. But overall, I'm still getting around well enough. I'm still feeling pretty good! It's all worth it knowing there is a little human in the making.

Cravings: Pickles. Potatoes. I made potato skins this weekend that really hit the spot! Not a whole lot in the food department that I'm not a fan of these days.

Baby's size: He's already between 17-19 inches long and possibly between 4-6 pounds.

{L to R} 33 weeks with each baby - Presley, Molly, Crosby

High for the week: I loved having lunch with my family and my in-laws today and then going shopping with my girls and mother-in-law! I love good deals and found a puddle jumper for Molly on clearance for just over $8! I also ran into some family friends while out shopping that I haven't seen in several years and it was so wonderful to see them. And as always, I love hanging out with my girls everyday!

Low for the week: Realizing Presley's first day of pre-k is a little over two weeks away. I know it could be all the extra hormones surging through my system right now that's making me feel so incredibly weepy about this moment, but I think it's mostly just me and my feelings regardless of hormone levels. She's my baby. My first baby. I've been with her damn near every moment of her life thus far. I'm her primary caregiver. She's with me when we wake up and I'm with her up until she goes to bed at night. When we decided to send her to preschool I was okay with this - I wanted this for her. I looked up some of the best, most recommended programs in our area that worked into our budget. I thought it might even be really nice to have some time apart... a little more space in my day and maybe a bit less stress. Now? I am falling to pieces over it. To me, this is the beginning of the end of a certain chapter in my life with Presley.  She'll never be staying home with me anymore. It's the start of her not needing me so much anymore and that terrifies me. What is that life like? I haven't lived that part of parenthood before. It's trusting other people (who are strangers to me at this point) to love and cherish and care for Presley the way I would... basically for the rest of her life. I'll lose a little bit more every year.

I know, I know. There are going to be beautiful things. I will get to watch my child grow and flourish and become this amazing version of herself. There will be things she will gain, a little more each year. I know this will mean a little extra time for Molly - and Crosby. I know there will be wonderful things on the horizon for me in regards to this stage for Presley. Right now though, I'm sad about it. And I want to be sad. I don't feel the joy and I don't want to. Oh, and I want to homeschool. But ya know, maybe we'll see how it goes with pre-k first before we jump the gun on anything else.

What I'm excited for: Seeing the doctor again this week. It's always reassuring and also nice to have a moment every few weeks to focus solely on little Crosby. I absolutely love watching the Olympics - especially the US women's indoor volleyball and the US women's beach volleyball! They've been doing so well and it is incredible watching these teams play, so I'm looking forward to more of that. Tony's also got Saturday off this week and I always look forward to a little more time together as a family! I'd also like to put my hospital bag together this week and I am pretty excited about that.

Mish mash.

Several times recently I've opened up a new blog entry to start writing and nothing comes out. I have a desire to write and share and think and reflect but then... nothing. I've said it before but sometimes blogging feels silly. Like, why am I writing this? What use it is now or ever? And what is so fascinating or important about my life that I feel the need to share it? And then I read a friends blog or something they've shared about their own life and I enjoy reading it so much. So I write incase someone else enjoys it and hope that I enjoy it in the process.

What's everyone reading or planning to read this year? I don't remember the last time I read a book or what it was. I know Tony and I committed to reading the Harry Potter series last year (again for me but for the first time for Tony) and around the time we started really planning our Disney trip was the time we stopped reading. Tony made it to book 2 and I made it to book 4. Usually I can't put those books down! I'm sure we'll pick up where we left off in a couple weeks.

The first book I plan to read this year is Howl's Moving Castle. I have it waiting for me at the library but keep forgetting to pick it up! I watched bits and pieces of the movie with Presley - which I really enjoyed - but I kept feeling like there were explanations on so many things that I was somehow missing. I read a review of the movie in which someone said the book was really a companion piece to the movie and without reading it you wouldn't get the entire picture. I'm excited to read it and then to also finish the movie.

I also really want to read Room after hearing great things about it. I started reading Paper Towns several weeks ago and never finished... I'd like to read that one soonish. I'd still like to read The Opposite of Loneliness that I meant to read last year and never did. I started Wild sometime last year and never got fully invested... so I'd like to give that one another try.

This month my oldest baby will turn four. The one who - at the time - felt like she would always be in a baby stage. And now there is nothing baby left about her. I don't even like the baby phase very much!!! It's a lot of diaper changes, little sleep, crying, and lots of messes. Then why is it so difficult for me that Presley is getting older? We signed her up for preschool last week. So many feelings. She is so ready to go to school and craves that social interaction. She can't wait to go to school with her backpack and get to meet new friends. But for me, it is so hard for me to let go. It'll more than likely just be a two day a week gig... but still. Most days I would LOVE for a little more "me" time - so why does sending her to preschool feel so sad for me?

I mean, this is the beginning of it all. After she starts preschool, she will start elementary school. And then she's gone all day five days a week and I will have to trust her to strangers. I will have to accept that she could get hurt. Or sick. Or bullied. That is hard for me. It's easy for me to think about the things she will gain from school - she will love it. But the fact that I won't be there to protect her or experience life right next to her feels very unnatural to me. When we were in the thick of the baby stage I could not wait until I could send her off to daycare and get a job or the days where she would be in school all day. And now it's terrifying! Maybe it'll all feel different once she gets started in school. Most of this could just be fear of the unknown at the moment.

I'd love to hear from parents who felt the same before sending their kids to school or who chose to homeschool. What has having school aged children been like for you?

I forgot to write about meeting our newest niece, Claire! It was nice to spend some time with the Carrico family and to see baby Claire. Both girls absolutely adore her and still talk about her. Anne Marie and Matthew are the best older siblings, too!!! And of course, I didn't get a single picture of Matthew from the trip. Poor middle kid! You'd think as a middle child myself I would be more conscious about that!!!!

Other than the upcoming birthday, not a whole lot is on our agenda. Muddling through this winter at the moment seems like my main goal. And coffee. 

2016 Goals

I know, I know... it's so cliche to end the year/begin a new year by making lists and setting goals. But I can't help but get swept away in the nostalgia that the New Years holiday brings. So, here we go.

• Save. Is this not on anyone else's list for the upcoming year? Anybody have "spend" on their list instead? I guess since nearly ever other bullet point on my list will require spending money, maybe it's good to include saving in just one. 
• Eat out less. One, because it's healthier to eat from home. Two, because... saving money.
• Start and finish two major projects around the house. The ones I'm reaching for at the moment: adding shoe boards to most of the house and staining a whole lots of cabinets (two bathrooms worth and a whole lotta kitchen cabinets). I'd like to add more projects to get done, but realistically, I'm just gonna stick with these two and hope we can get them done!
• ZUMBA. I have to get back out there and be active this year... have. to. And I've been missing Zumba for years. So. It's time. I'm hoping to make it to classes twice every week.  I've got a membership through my insurance that includes all kinds of local gyms so now it's just a matter of making it to one. And if you live in town and happen to be looking for a casual workout buddy... I might be your person!
• Preschool for Presley. How do you even begin this one?! And how is it already time for this? Just accepting that as an impending reality kinda breaks my heart a bit. Sending her out into the real world!!! Okay, I don't want to think about this so moving on...
• Get rid of stuff. For starters the stuff we rarely use. And then move on to the stuff we just plain don't need. It always feels good to simplify.
• Get the Corolla fixed. It's currently sitting and doing nothing just waiting for us to give it some TLC. I don't remember what was the problem with it, but I think multiple things, and mostly we just need to have it towed and diagnosed and go from there. It'd be great if Tony could drive it most of the time because 1) his is a two door and not the most family friendly and the Corolla is a four door and much more family friendly and 2) Tony drives a manual - and I don't know how - so it's impossible for us to swap cars if needed at the moment. Plus, the Corolla is probably a little less safe for the kids to be in full time when compared to the Fit... so even though I would rather drive my Corolla, I think it'd be better to drive the Fit. I don't think the Corolla would require much to get it in good, running shape again, but it's just a matter of doing it and putting in the time and money.
• Get away. For just a weekend or a couple days. Give Tony and the girls some uninterrupted time together. ;) I'd say a sister trip but I'm not sure Amanda will be up for leaving her new babe anytime soon... so maybe a 2/3 sister trip. Or maybe just a solo trip! Who knows.
• I'd love to hear that prediabetes is no longer an issue for me. That'd have to be the biggest hope for 2016 for myself right now. I need to start taking it even more seriously than I have been. And I'm sure that diabetes will be a part of my life in some way, shape, or form from here on out. But that also means I need to get better about my diet.
• Give my family the best of me. Especially my baby girls. Stop wishing the days away! Enjoy the days and moments with them. Try to be happy... because it continues to go by faster and faster.

I feel like there are a million things that have been on my mind lately to keep up with or begin or let go of or change for 2016 but my mind tends to wander these days so this list will have to do for now. I'm sure I'll add things here and there as the year progresses. I'd love to hear what everybody has on their 2016 list. Here's to noticing the beauty this year... to actively stop to smell the roses!