Saturday ramblings...

This is the second week in a row that I forgot about pizza Friday and didn't remember until Saturday. So we ordered pizza tonight - like we did last week - and I'm considering moving pizza Friday to pizza Saturday.

My poor kids have been taking turns being sick lately. Molly and Crosby were last week and now it's Presley. Her tests came back negative for strep & mono but it could've been too soon to test for the latter. She's on antibiotics because it really does look and seem like strep. Hopefully it is and the meds will knock it out.

Crosby is 9 months old. We've made it this long in our breastfeeding journey and when I think about how protected he is with the extra immune boost from my milk it makes me want to carry on nursing him after his first birthday (which is just over 2 months away). I'm conflicted. It'll be nice to continue on that relationship while he's still so little but it would also be fantastic to have another part of my body back to myself after being pregnant or nursing since summer 2011! It'll definitely feel like the ending of an era for me and while there are so many things to look forward to in that upcoming chapter, I am still apprehensive about leaving it all behind. So, we'll see where we end up when we get there!

Oh man and Molly is three!!!! I have been meaning to write about this but of course I just haven't been real into that lately. This kid is still giving me a run for my money but it SEEMS like we're turning somewhat of a corner lately and MAYBE leaving the "terrible" behind us in the twos. Her vocabulary has been bursting here lately and that helps her to express herself so much which helps her feel less frustrated. Or so it seems. She's getting so big BUT Tony noticed her 3 year measurements in the garage were just about the same as Presley's 2.5 year measurements! So seems like she will be more my build. Maybe? I'd like to take the girls to go see Cars 3 sometime soon maybe as a late birthday thing... but we'll see about that. As much as I'm so so so so so apprehensive and just SAD about sending Presley to kindergarten in the Fall, I am really looking forward to the time with Molly!

My best friend Betsy is getting married in May. I'm so happy she's so happy and even more excited to be there for her on such a special, beautiful day in her life. I can't lie that I'm really super excited to get back to the Quad Cities and see some familiar faces and eat at some of our favorite places!!! Even though it's still pretty far away I'm already looking forward to some Quad City pizza, Ming Wah, La Flama, and so many other places. It'll be the first time all 5 of us head up there, too. And before that will be Bets' bachelorette trip and I can not wait!!!! I haven't seen this much of her in the longest time and it's seriously just what I need.

I recently caved and fell in love with LuLaRoe thanks to my childhood best friend selling it and I am addicted. The clothes are beautiful and most importantly COMFORTABLE! And perfect for everyday living. I'm having a LuLaRoe party next weekend and I can't wait to get my hands on some new stuff and for a nice little ladies night!!

I'm currently listening to "Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King" and I've said it before but maybe not enough that this is my favorite CD of all time, I believe. It is so easy to listen to and I feel like they got everything just right. The music. The lyrics. The mood. The flow from one message to another. Up, down, mellow, jam... it's just great to listen to.

I can't stop trying to plan our way to Disney lately. And I really don't think it's going to happen anytime soon. I wish I could make it work for September 2018 or February 2019 but even those seem unattainable for us. And Presley has really become an even bigger Disney addict than me!!! I love it. But we've created a little monster. She cannot wait to get back and here I am saying the same thing so I suppose I don't blame her. She is so incredible and so understanding when I explain it's because of money. We talked about the various ways they can help us get to Disney and one of them was to not buy any toys unless it's their birthday or Christmas (which is honestly how it should be anyways) and so every time she asks for a toy in the stores I'll pause a moment and she'll remember what I asked of her. She'll go, "Oh! Oops!!! I forgot. No toys so we can save our money!" I just love her so so much.

It's officially been 17 years since I last saw my dad which feels just as long as it sounds.

Anyways. That's it. Brain is now (mostly) empty. My plans for the rest of the night: shower, watch One Tree Hill, and sleep. Goodnight everyone.

Dads

Hello from the most neglected blog on the block!!! I have so many ideas bouncing around in my brain when it comes to blogging but never sit down to write them out. I work myself up that each post needs to be so substantial when in reality the heart and soul of writing has so little to do with the word count. So, this is a start.

Father's Day is a bittersweet day for me. I feel like people must not believe me when I say I had the world's best dad. {The exception being is if the person knew my dad... then they usually agree with me right away.} And it's not a competition thing... I'm not saying that to say that my dad is better than all the other dads. It's just he was the best dad I could ever imagine having. He loved us in the way that every child should be loved.

I think about what an incredible person my dad was and the pain of having him taken away so suddenly, so violently comes bubbling to the surface nearly as strongly as it was in the beginning. And while I'm out of the darkest days I can recognize now that there will always be dark days. You just can't outrun those feelings.

And that's what days like Father's Day felt like to me after my dad was gone... dark. Empty. And certainly a day I didn't feel like celebrating anymore. That is until I had a new father in my life. The father of my kids.

The last five years I've felt true joy on days like today again. So, cheers to the guy who entered my life a month after my dad left it. You were such a bright light in my darkest times. Thank you for loving me and for loving our babies. There is so much about you that I love and that is so worth celebrating. You make everything better.

And Happy Father's Day to the best father in the world. I love you so much, Dad, and I know without a doubt my kids would have loved every moment of getting to know you. I'm trying my best to keep your love and memories alive for them. I hope you never stop watching over us.

April.

We're 1/4 of the way through 2017 already. They say with parenting the days go by slowly but the years go by fast and so far in my parenting journey that is so very true. It has hit me like a rock that my sweetheart is going to kindergarten later this year as her time in preschool is coming to a close.

It was hard for me to trust someone else with her. It was hard letting go for the first time. All those feelings are coming back up all over again. A new school, teacher, staff, class... everything. I guess I never really expected to feel this way. When she was a baby and we were blindly stumbling through the newborn days I fantasized of this day. (#mommyconfession) I couldn't wait for the day that I could drop her off at school and have my life to myself again. Or at least for those hours she was gone. Maybe once I get to know the staff at her new school I'll feel more comfortable but it is so scary to trust complete strangers to care for your kid. To love them. To treat them with respect. To help them. To show them kindness and patience. To protect them. To pay attention while so many things are going on around them. It's a lot to ask. And it's exactly why I have stayed home with my kids for the last five years instead of being a two income family.

So, it's April. We're one month closer to the end of the school year. We're one month away from our six year wedding anniversary. We're a month closer to Molly's 3rd birthday. And this month we've got a little guy hitting the HALF year mark (blog to come soon on that).

And now since it's Friday, I'm gonna share a few of my end-of-the-week MVPs!

For the first one, let's start off with a little backstory... TEN whole years ago I was 19 and had just moved back to Memphis from Illinois. I went to a group interview at Build-A-Bear Workshop and somehow tricked them into hiring me by the end of it! From that job I learned so many great things from my bosses at the time about work ethic and kindness. I am forever grateful for my experiences there and for the good memories... it was incredible to work for such a wonderful company and to work with some really compassionate people. One of my FAVORITE things I picked up from my time there (besides the phrase "if you have time to lean then you have time to clean!") I learned from my boss, Paula. Our store was part of an outdoor mall and across the parking lot was a Barnes & Noble with a Starbucks inside. A couple times she had me grab her her favorite drink - a black tea lemonade - from there and after a couple times I decided to try it myself. At first I thought it was disgusting until Paula told me you could also get it sweetened. So thank you Paula - you are one of my MVPs for introducing me to the drink I have been in love with for the last ten years! My favorite thing to do is to go to either Target or Kroger and order a trenta black tea lemonade with light ice & half 3 pumps of classic syrup and sip my drink while I shop! (Especially if the kids are along.) Then I'll stop on my way out to get a free refill thanks to my Starbucks Gold Card! #BTLFTW!

A few years ago we moved back to Memphis from Illinois... again for me... and this time we were looking for a new dentist. I reached out to my Facebook friends for their referrals and among them a friend of mine was super enthusiastic about the staff at Schilling Farms Dental. They accepted our dental insurance, sounded super great on the phone, and had openings for us relatively soon so we decided to give them a try. And I'm SO GLAD we did because we just love them. They're thorough gentle, and caring with us and our kiddos. Not only that - but our dentist is a Disney fan who loves being a dad to his three daughters - so he is someone I can relate to on a personal level. Recently a super sweet friend of mine was similarly looking for a new dentist and decided to give them a try. And just like us they had a great experience! It feels good to give friends a good place to go and to give our dental office the business they definitely deserve. So, Kaela, thank you so much for sending us to them! You da real MVP!!!

Kaela, her cousin Kelsi, & myself WAY back when I first met them!

And my last end-of-the-week MVP goes to the Memphis Zoo! We are so grateful to be members at such a nice zoo but the reason they made it into my blog is because they're totally having a baby boom there right now and I love it! In the last few weeks they've had a giraffe birth and also a hippo birth. I feel lucky to see these little animals in person but for my kids to experience that is pretty incredible as well. Now if they could just have a baby rhino addition to our zoo and on display then I would be in heaven!!!

We haven't seen the new baby on exhibit yet but we love seeing the adult hippos

Hope everyone had a great week and has something wonderful to look forward to in the weekend!!!

What I Have to Say About Breastfeeding

{Note: Please bear with me as I attempt to update the look & feel of my blog. I'm testing out a new layout and if it's not working for you or is harder to navigate DO let me know and I'll find something easier. Likewise, let me know if the new layout is easier to navigate or something you like better. The little things that used to live on the sidebar (over to the right) of my blog can now be found in the drop-down up in the left hand corner. This includes archived blogs, finding something by a label/keyword, popular posts, etc.}

Now. Let's get to the real reason I showed up to my blog today...

BREASTFEEDING!

I've felt so hesitant over the years to get into the nitty gritty of nursing babies for a bunch of different reasons - but no more. Today I'm going for it. Mostly thanks to the encouragement of a friend from high school who just gave birth to a truly beautiful baby girl. (Congratulations Wyatt & Jessica and welcome to the world sweet Lennon!) Sharing my experience with breastfeeding has been on my mind after a good conversation recently with my friend Marcennia as well. So a big thank you to both of these ladies for unknowingly nudging me to hop back on my blog and write.

For those who might be new around here: I'm a mom x3. I gave birth in 2012 to a girl, 2014 to another girl, and 2016 to a boy. Baby #1 breastfed for 23 months and baby #2 for 19 months or so. (Sorry Molly - I don't remember it as exactly!) I'm still breastfeeding baby #3 and we're nearing the 6 month mark! I feel like this will be a good reference when it comes to writing about my various breastfeeding journeys.

I'd like to start by talking about the breastfeeding worries and struggles I encountered each time.

I don't remember seeing people breastfeed or talking much about it growing up. We lived in Illinois when I was pregnant with my first baby and I went to all kinds of amazing, free parenting classes offered at Pregnancy Resources there in town. Thankfully, this included a class that solely focused on breastfeeding. I remember seeing so many bare breasts in a video that day and I couldn't stop giggling to myself. (I was 23 at the time and a lot less privy to these types of images back then.) At the end of class that day the instructor opened it up to questions from the parents-to-be. I wondered - out loud - if we were supposed to clean/sanitize our nipples before and after every feeding. This was literally how clueless I was to all things breastfeeding back then! (For those of you wondering... the answer is no!) 

Like so many other women I know, before ever having breastfed, my only real frame of reference for breasts in general was sexual. There is nothing inherently wrong with breasts being sexy - I totally agree that they are and love my breasts. But before beginning my breastfeeding journey these images were at war for me... how could breasts be sexual AND be something I fed my baby with? I worried about that quite a bit before having baby #1 and then again before having baby #3, which was my first boy. What was it going to be like breastfeeding a boy? Again, those anxieties came creeping back in. Which now sounds so silly to me - but at the time it was real. To any person who might be wondering about the same things - let me put your mind at ease.

1. There is nothing sexy about feeding your baby. It doesn't look sexual or feel sexual. Trust me!

2. There are plenty of body parts that serve us in multiple tasks which have nothing to do with one another. Take your mouth for example. You use it to eat and drink. You use your mouth to kiss someone. Two totally different functions and they don't effect the other. 

So please try not to worry about it. And if you still feel nervous about it or anything when it comes to breastfeeding, feel free to reach out to me or someone you know who has breastfed and who you can trust. It helps so much to talk your worries out and get some support! I mean it - I am totally here to support you.

I ran into different struggles with breastfeeding over the years, too. With baby #1 the hugest struggle was BOTH baby and I learning at the same time how breastfeeding worked. We were both on that learning curve and everything was new. It's hard to have no confidence in what you're doing when it comes to feeding your baby! I had help from the lactation consultant in the hospital but even that ended up being a little stressful. I remember the LC really put an emphasis on doing all the various breastfeeding positions (cradle, football hold, cross-cradle...) maybe because Presley's latch wasn't the best. But I ended up feeling so overwhelmed having to switch up the position with every feeding. We used a nipple shield a lot in the very beginning. One of the worst parts in the first few weeks were my cracked, bleeding nipples. (Thank you God for Lanolin cream!!!) It caused me a lot of pain & anxiety to put baby to breast knowing it was going to cause pain. Thankfully that was relatively short lived. Oh and another struggle? Leaking. I had no idea you needed breast pads! So once my milk came in I was a mess. Literally.

After having baby #2 I had some complications after my epidural that left me with a spinal fluid leak and debilitating head aches. For the first two weeks of her life I literally had to lay flat to escape the worst of the pain. Not being able to sit up to nurse her was pretty difficult but thankfully I was able to nurse her in the side-lying position. She seemed gassy and unhappy often and I think I had a strong letdown as well as a hind/fore milk imbalance. Once I figured those out and took steps to fix that it got better.

When it came time to breastfeed baby #3 I felt so confident. His first latch went great and it was honestly like riding a bike for me. (Once learned, never forgotten.) We got him home and man was a knocked down several rungs! I seemed to have a hind/fore milk imbalance again along with a strong letdown. Baby #3 was also very refluxy, gassy, and very unhappy as a result. I thought he might have a tongue or lip tie but that was ultimately ruled out. We got him on reflux medicine because he was projectile vomiting several times a day at this point. A month into his meds nothing was helping and it seemed like his mood had worsened. At this point not only was baby #3 gaining weight, he was gaining a lot of weight. He was prescribed a stronger medicine for the reflux but I just didn't feel right about it. I didn't give him the medicine to see if it helped his mood and symptoms or made them worse. Long story short - he did better off the medicine and eventually the vomiting was down to only once a day and then lessened from there. During this time I wanted to quit breastfeeding. I felt like it was so hard, I wasn't figuring out how to make these issues stop, and I didn't see the point of continuing all this stress on my part. Surely bottles and formula would be a hell of a lot easier that what I was currently dealing with AND I wouldn't be the only one in charge of feeding him.

And that struggle - the feeling that so much falls directly on my shoulders for baby's wellbeing - is something that I felt so strongly early on in my breastfeeding journey each time. I can't be away from baby very long... ever... especially in the beginning. (Not without introducing a bottle to baby - which can be stressful - as well as pumping milk beforehand and pumping while I'm gone so my supply isn't affected.) Another struggle all three times was breastfeeding in public. It can be scary and uncomfortable mostly because you just don't know how other people will react to it. And if you're a habitual people pleaser like I am you worry about what even the strangest of strangers think of you. Which I know is so silly but it still gives me a little anxiety from time to time. What I've come to realize is that my children take top priority. If my baby is hungry I'm going to feed him. If that makes someone else mad then it makes them mad and there is nothing I can do to control their feelings. Sure, I can nurse in a bathroom but I absolutely refuse to do that. I find it demeaning. And gross. And ladies, it helps so much to know your legal rights in regards to breastfeeding. I feel so much better when I remember that breastfeeding mothers and their children are protected and allowed to nurse in public.

If you have a partner - God bless them! Enlist their help. Their encouragement and support can make all the difference. Since you do the majority of the feeding you get so much bonding time & snuggles with your baby that they might feel they're missing out on. Here are some of my favorite ways for them to get involved:

1. Water refills. Tony is so good about this! If he notices my water is empty then he'll fill it up for me - especially while I'm feeding the baby.
2. You're in charge of the input so they can take care of the output! Simply put: they can change the diapers. In the middle of the night when baby #3 wakes up I'll wake my husband up. He changes the diaper while I use the restroom and get situated & ready to nurse. It might sound small but it helps me tremendously... mostly it just helps me to feel like I'm not in this on my own. Which I'm not!
3. Taking care of the older kids while you nurse baby!
4. Getting you a new breast pad!
5. Bringing baby to you while you get set up to breastfeed.
6. Burping the baby after you're all done! Honestly it's such a good way for daddy & baby to bond.
7. Your partner can take baby in between feedings for you.
8. Your partner can make you a snack or meal, too!

And don't be afraid to ask for help! You're doing some serious, awesome work for your family. If your partner is anything like mine then they're grateful for your sacrifice and hard work and are happy to be there for you. My guy has really gone above & beyond to support and encourage me breastfeeding our kids. He advocates for breastfeeding and it's really been a joy to see him become passionate about it over the years!

All of this leads me to my favorite part - my breastfeeding tips, advice, and a few heads-up!

• Set small, attainable goals. And definitely start small in the beginning. With baby #1 I think my first goal was the first six weeks. When I felt like it would be easier to quit breastfeeding I would go back and look at the benefits my baby was reaping at each milestone. (I literally can't tell you how many times I visited that website during my first breastfeeding journey.) This helped me tremendously to stick with it. My next goal was to make it to three months. After that it was six months. Then nine months. And all along my overall goal was one year.
• Find your village. This looks different from everyone. I reached out for support to my Facebook friends in the early days with baby #1 and without their kindness and help I really wouldn't have made it as far as I did. Some people have great La Leche League groups in their area. This time around I'm part of a Breastfeeding Moms of Memphis group on Facebook that has been an invaluable resource. (More on my village a little later!)
• Nurse laying down! Seriously. Try it. It is a life saver - especially when you are recovering from childbirth. Or sick. Or exhausted. This position literally saved our breastfeeding journey while I was dealing with the spinal fluid leak after baby #2. It has allowed me to nap next to my baby as I feed them on numerous occasions. It's the best!
• Invest in a breastfeeding support pillow and a nice nursing cover. I have two Boppy pillows and use them every single day. I've had several nursing covers over the years and my favorite cover is also made by Boppy. One of my favorite features is that you can fold it up into a little bag so it's easy to throw in your purse, diaper bag, or car and take it with you. It also actually covers everything so I feel a lot more comfortable nursing in public.
• WATER. Water. Water. Drink lots of it. Get a nice, big cup with a lid. Fill it up before you sit down to nurse. You'll feel better and it's imperative to keep your milk supply up.
• Breast pads, nursing bras, & nursing camis. Find what you like and get a bunch of them. It'll come in handy - especially when your hormones are a mess after childbirth and you sweat like crazy or when baby spits up on you often in the beginning and you're ALWAYS washing your bras and camis. I love these breast pads but I'm honestly not all that picky these days. I also really like comfy nursing bras with no underwire or extra padding. But that's just me!
• Just know that the distracted phase is real!!! It starts when baby is around 5 months and wow is it annoying! All of sudden baby just starts noticing everything around them ALL the time and will get distracted so easily. You can call it stop-and-go breastfeeding because that's what it's like... one moment baby is latched and drinking milk and the next he pops off and is babbling or trying to roll over or laughing. It helps to nurse in a dark, quiet room during this phase... but those of you with multiple kids will laugh along with me because that's just not an option. Oh and surprise... there is an arm-fat-pinching phase, too. 
• Biting while breastfeeding happens - and this often starts before any teeth show up. And it hurts like hell. It's also totally normal but that doesn't mean you have to suffer through it. You can fish hook your finger inside their mouth to break the seal they have on your nipple. You can also push their face into your breast. Sounds weird but it works. I also got some advice from a family member to flick their nose (NOT hard enough to injure them but enough to surprise them) and tell them "No biting!" when that happens. They don't like that! And that has helped all 3 of my kids to stop. Fun fact: When your baby is correctly latched they cannot bite you. Usually my kids would bite me once they were done nursing and before I took them off the breast. Teething is no fun but if you are prepared for how to deal with the biting then it should be much smoother sailing!!
• Finally, find your groove and what works for you. Sometimes that will mean using certain breastfeeding holds or doing breast compressions if your milk is slow to letdown each time. Other times it's learning to only breastfeed on one breast at each feeding because you have an oversupply. If you gave birth at a hospital with a lactation consultant you can often go back and visit them for free advice and help - make sure to call and schedule an appointment. Lactation consultants - in my experience - love what they do and they're passionate about helping you and baby learn the ropes. You might feel like your questions or concerns are small or trivial & it might require you to step out of your comfort zone but trust me it is totally worth the time and energy to ask for help & get the extra support.

I've had wonderful support within my family as well & I'm gonna take a moment to shout them out. My mom has been supportive from the beginning and breastfed me for six weeks when I was a baby! Thank you, Mom! My sisters & cousin have been there for me - not just because they love me but in their own unique ways, too. My big sister & cousin have been in the trenches with me over the last five years. My little sister has been in nursing school or working as a RN and has been ultra supportive and informative, too. My mother-in-law doesn't bat an eye while I'm breastfeeding.  We've got all kinds of family and friends who have been supportive and loving and I am so grateful for all of you!


When I felt like quitting in the first few weeks with baby #3 my village supported me in their various ways. Tony reminded me of the health benefits & that formula wouldn't solve baby's issues either. My big sister reminded me it was totally okay to quit and formula was awesome. My mother-in-law straight up told me I couldn't quit. Most importantly was that they cared enough to weigh in and be there for me!

And above everything else, I couldn't have breastfed without my three kiddos. They're awesome little rockstars who make me want to be the best version of myself. They're also the reason I started drinking coffee regularly... #mommyconfession

First Day of Spring.

There are all different reasons to celebrate the special days that changed your life - the day someone was born, the day you met someone important, the day you married the love of your life, the day you gave birth, the day you got clean/sober. What's so amazing is usually we don't fully know how much or in what ways our lives are about to be impacted. There is no way to know how significant or incredible these 24 hours will be for days, weeks, and years to come. It starts out just like every other day.

Fourteen years ago I started dating the guy of my dreams.

I remember the day we met - or at least the day that got the ball rolling. He was wearing his yellow Old Navy sweatshirt and was riding his bike around the parking lot of Brookside Baptist. I was on my way to the soccer field for practice. I plucked up the courage and without thinking said "hey" to him and halfway expected him to say nothing. Instead he said "hey" right back to me.

I remember when I first fell in love with him - at the ripe age 13. We were on a ski trip with a bunch of kids from Brookside Baptist and we rode to and from Gatlinburg and Memphis together in the same van. We were with a bunch of our mutual friends and it was a safe space where we could just have fun and be ourselves. I got to know him a little better over the long Martin Luther King Jr. weekend in 2001 and on the way back home from the trip I was head over heels for this sweet, quiet, kind, funny, playful older guy.

I remember our first kiss. It was an accident! We were leaning in to hug each other and our heads turned the same way and our faces ended up meeting and it was so incredibly awkward considering how well we'd known each other and how much we liked each other at this point. I remember going back inside and detailing the kiss to my big sister and then dissecting it with her. And to this day I love that moment - how hilarious it is to relive and think about - and how grateful I am that our awkward first kiss happened.

I remember the day he asked me to be his girlfriend. And I remember the day I said yes. Tony had asked me to be his girlfriend before and instead of saying yes - I told him I needed more time. To be completely honest, the gravity of our relationship was too much for me at the time. It felt like the real deal from day one between us and that was intimidating. Not to mention the foundation of our relationship was sturdily built on our friendship. What if we dated and for some reason it didn't work out... I would lose my best friend. That was a risk that at the time I wasn't willing to take. My cousin came in town to visit and she told me what an idiot I was for not being his girlfriend - that he was such a nice guy and he was clearly crazy about me. I don't remember what exactly changed between us to get me to say yes, but I remember Breanne being so honest and real with me and that was a huge wake-up call to me. I remember telling him I was ready and to ask me again. He told me this was the last time asking... that he wouldn't do it again. So March 20, 2003 after asking three times and it being WAY overdue... we made it official.

I love that it coincided with the first day of Spring when it is all about growth, newness, transformation, and renewal. I'm glad Tony never gave up on me when it would have been much easier to do so. I cherish every year I've had with him and everything we've shared.

We've come a LONG way since the Brookside days... and he's still my best guy and truest friend and without a doubt the great love of my life. And the best is yet to come!

My 2016 Grown-Up Christmas List

So, I love this time of year. It's full of that wonderful magic feeling. One of the tangible things I enjoy most is the 24/7 Christmas music on certain radio stations! The. Best. But unfortunately this also results in many eye-rolls when they play the few Christmas songs I'm not extremely fond of like Grown-Up Christmas List by Kelly Clarkson/Amy Grant/anyone, I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas, Mistletoe by Justin Bieber, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by the Jackson 5, and Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. This is certainly not an all-inclusive list... just the very worst that I came up with off the top of my head.

Anyways. After listening to one of the above songs, I got to thinking about what I really wanted for Christmas. So, here is my grown-up Christmas list:

1. New toilets - the tall ones that can also suck down a whole bag of golf balls! (Yes! They exist!!!) 
2. Tankless water heather - especially since it seems our current one may be going out and is certainly not efficient these days!
3. New paint throughout the house - and one that doesn't chip!!!
4. Shoe molding pretty much throughout half of the house, too.
5. Probably new flooring in the other half of the house. Definitely no more carpet in the dining room or bathrooms!
6. A mantle & fireplace that doesn't look so dated.
7. A not-busted-up driveway.
8. Oh yeah, somebody has to fix the mower. (Not it!!!!)
9. Remodel our weird looking master bathroom... rip out the old tub with jets entirely. That thing can be so unsanitary. Plus, it's not human-shaped. I want a tub where I can be actually submerged in - like all body parts under water at the same time.
10. Start and finish our 4th bedroom. Which includes fixing up/finishing off the stairs and walls (possible insulation first?), doing some work on the window, flooring, electrical work, paint, etc...
11. A new HVAC system. Which needs to be done already, but once we get the 4th bedroom done we'll need a bigger unit. And we'll need the 4th bedroom connected to said new unit.
12. Update faucets, cabinets, drawer pulls, door knobs, light fixtures, and several windows throughout the house.

I mean, I could keep going. We keep MEANING to do all these things - but where are we pulling this money and time from? When we bought this house we got a pretty good deal on it and we did so knowing that we'd need to eventually do most of these things. And I know, none of these things keep the house from being livable. Carpets in the bathroom are kinda gross, but we can survive with it the way it is. Still, these are the things I dream of doing and the things that made my Christmas list this year. This doesn't even get into the other things I'd like... a family vacation, a solo vacation, and a vacation with my husband. (Yes... three different vacations.) Bananas that don't brown so quickly. A set of those amazing zipper sheets for every bed in the house. An updated wardrobe since I have no idea what to wear anymore. A gym membership. A monthly spa trip. And mostly, I want to continue to be thankful for the things I have in the New Year. I have a beautiful, relatively healthy family that keeps me busy and happy, a house that keeps us safe and warm, more than enough of the things we need and so many things that we want.

And I would give up every single "thing" to keep these people safe and healthy

But I'm hoping we get a few of these crossed off the grown-up Christmas list in 2017... if you were me, where would you start?

3 TV Shows... {thursday thoughts}

My hope was that I would get through these writing prompts before Crosby came since I would likely have more time then, but as usual I'm running well behind schedule.

Anyways, I love watching a great TV show! I love connecting with well-written characters and watching them develop as their story unfolds. There are so many great shows out there it's hard to catch them all or really sometimes it's hard to know where to start. And I really enjoy hearing shows (or books or movies) that my friends recommend so I figured I would throw out some of my favorites!

03. Parenthood
If you haven't seen this show, you are really missing out on something special. It's not on air anymore and you can find the series in it's entirety on Netflix. It's a show about family. It's truly funny. It's touching. It's real. The family featured in the show is the Bravermans - two parents and four now adult children. Each adult child has a story and now their own family and set of struggles and hilarity. You get to know them and love them like they are your own network of people. Check it out if you haven't! And if you didn't know already, this show is where we got the name for our newest family member, Crosby. I absolutely love the character on the show and his name is precious.

02. This Is Us*
Oh goodness, I am so glad this show exists!!!!! This Is Us is new to NBC this year and I am enjoying it so very much along with SO many other people watching this show every Tuesday. The show just went on hiatus for a winter break but it'll be back on January 10th. I won't give anything away about this show other than it is a ton like Parenthood - it follows a family's story. And it is heartwarming and amazing and literally EVERY week there is something so incredibly touching in a way that it feels like it was written for you or the people in your life. I learn something new every week about myself because it draws attention to so many things within myself that I need to explore. Anyways... I won't say anything more except for this: WATCH. IT. And start with the pilot episode. You will be glad you did, I promise.

01. Grey's Anatomy*
If you haven't heard of this show then you probably don't have a television. Or maybe TV isn't your thing. (If so then this entry will likely bore you to tears!!!) I love this show for many reasons and the first one is that no matter what, Shonda Rhimes knows how to write something extremely compelling! I might not always like where she leads her characters, but yet I'm back week after week. This show has been my JAM since the pilot episode... I watched it live when it aired and I have been hooked ever since! Heck... I was hooked when I saw previews for the show as they were hyping it up just before it aired. It's awesome being so many seasons in (13 now?) and literally watching the characters grow up. You can catch up on all the previous seasons on Netflix and it airs Thursdays on ABC! I've lost count the number of times I've watched each season of Grey's Anatomy and I will keep on watching for years to come.

Honorable Mentions:
The Tudors
Dexter
The Office
Scandal*
Life on Mars
Fixer Upper*

*Shows that are currently on air

What shows have you watched before that you recommend? I'm always looking for shows to watch on Netflix that aren't cartoons... not that I'll ever get to watch them!