Currently {link-up} x9

This weeks prompts are {coveting, imagining, asking, saving for, fearing}

I am currently

Coveting...  Those with bigger houses.  I just feel like we are constantly exploding at the seams here!  Even before we had Presley, this house would have been small for just the two of us.  It's smaller than the apartment we had together.  (Though, I will never regret getting the heck out of there when we did.  It was definitely the right move to leave.)  We make it work.  But I can't help but wonder if and how life would be easier if we had enough space.  Or even just a family table.  Or a dishwasher.  Or a workable kitchen space.  But it's important to realize we have a safe place to raise Presley, a roof over our head, and above all we are in good health.  So much to be grateful for, always.

Imagining...  the beach.  I can't wait for our trip to Florida in July!  Now that most of the planning is behind us, I am just ready to go.  I can't wait to see Presley's reaction to sand and the sea!  I'm also excited to be with Tony in the same place where he proposed.  I'm ready to see my Gramma again and to be around family we only get to see a few times a year.  I can't wait to visit our favorite spots.  It'll be so so so great to have an extended getaway as a little family.

Asking...  God for direction in our life.  We are coming up on some big life decisions for our family (like, where in the HECK are we going to raise this family of ours?) and I am longing for the peace of putting my life in the Lord's gentle hold.  I'm not expecting Him to make the moves for us and I'm not expecting Him to seek out opportunities for us - those are both things we are going to be doing - but I am in need to hand my worries over.  I just wish I knew which way would be best for us... I wish I knew how the decisions we make in these moments would affect us in the long term... but I know it's better for us to not know those things beforehand.  The only way to move forward in this case is to head straight through the thick of it.

Saving for...  Well, I wish we were doing better about saving our money right now.  Because theoretically we would be saving up for our first home.  Not that we know where or when that'll be... but we do know it's on the horizon for us.  We are saving spare change in a jug for a future family trip to Disney World.  At this rate we should be able to afford a trip by 2020....

Fearing...  That we will never actually take the next leap we need to make.  I just want to make a decision.  I don't want to stay in the Quad Cities out of default... but if we make the decision to stay here, that would be different.  I also fear we won't find job opportunities in Tennessee.  We have family in all parts of the state, so that is where we are hoping to move because we want to be back in the south and even more we want to be around family there (and away from the snow/extended winter months).  But considering that my sisters are both at similar points in there lives - they don't have deep roots in the cities in which they live and therefore could move elsewhere for better opportunities.  That makes it hard to choose a place for US to put down roots.  Do we choose to live near the family we miss and risk that not working out after all?  Do we go purely where the best job opportunities are?  It's hard to say.  I guess more than anything - more than fearing we'll make the wrong choice - I fear that we will fail to make any choice at all.


In other news....

This past weekend one of my little cousins, Drew, graduated from high school.  I lived with Drew & the rest of his family for the last year I was in high school & my first year of college.  Those two years bonded me so close to Drew & his brother Ryan (and my aunt and uncle).  They have always been my family and continue to be - but I just can't describe how living with them and seeing them every day changed my relationship with each of them.  I do know that Drew is one of the funniest and sweetest people that I'm so lucky to know.  He's going to do amazing things and I just hope that I can still be a part of his life after he leaves the Quad Cities.  His graduation didn't really make me emotional whatsoever - I guess I always feel so preoccupied in keeping Presley calm and happy during things like graduations so I didn't really get to think about the impact of the day until later on.  Actually, the first time I really THOUGHT about it was when Drew stepped in the middle of Ryan and I for this picture and I felt my head rest on his shoulder.  MY head on HIS shoulder... what?!  I tell Drew & Ryan ALL the time I still see them as being 8 & 10.  And it totally and completely hit me here that he is 18 and growing up into a man!  I just started to tear up and had to really hold back from full on crying!  (It's amazing what becoming a mom does to you... aka, an emotional mess at times!!!)  Drew - I don't anticipate you reading this anytime soon, but if you ever do - I hope you know I love you so much and I am genuinely so incredibly proud of you.

Just for reference - here are some pictures of me & Drew over the years.  The top two pictures are me holding Drew when he was just a little baby!  The bottom left is a picture from the time that I lived with Drew and the bottom right is when I graduated with my associates degree in May 2009 - the same spot that we took the picture from Drew's graduation this past weekend.  Just seeing how much Drew & Ryan have grown in the past four years absolutely blows my mind.

 

Happy birthday to my fantastic, super-dad husband, Tony!  His 28th birthday was a few days ago and it was such a great day... not many of those awesome days come along where everything seems to go right (even when it goes wrong) and it made me fall more in love with him and my daughter.  Thanks for being exactly who you are to us and for always having the best interest of our family at heart.  You amaze me everyday!