Marriage Monday: Happy 2nd Anniversary, Baby!

I, Ali,

take you, Tony,

to be my husband

To have 

and to hold

From this day forward

For better 

or for worse

For richer, 

for poorer

In sickness 

and in health

until death do us part. 

It's incredible to me that we last said those words to each other two years ago.  Two years ago...?  I start to ask myself where the time has gone, but I know exactly what has made those two years feel like they've both lasted a lifetime and somehow passed in the blink of an eye...

Two years ago I thought I knew everything there was to know about the man I married.  I was wrong.  I had never known Tony as a father - even more so - the father of our child.  I think about the incredibly bumpy ride we've taken over these last 24 months.  {The days before we were parents feels as if it were an entire lifetime ago and that we were two completely different people then.  Anybody else able to empathize with that feeling?}  How could I have no idea how much one tiny person could change our lives forever?  In these past two years we have seen some of the "for better" days and several of the "for worse" days and we've come out on the other side two changed people.  My heart was altered after learning just HOW MUCH I could love my own child.  In turn, it has deepened the love I feel for my husband.

I wish I could say that I couldn't possibly love Tony more than I do today, but I know that is a lie because I continue to love him more as time goes by.  I wish, hope, and pray many things for our marriage and here is a spontaneous prayer for our second anniversary and beyond...

I pray I remember above all else that this man is my best friend
and he deserves to be reminded of that every day through my actions and my words.
May I show him the love he shows me.
God, please remind me that the little moments make up the bigger picture that has become our life together.
Help me take more mental pictures and worry less about capturing the moments from behind a camera.
Let us never forget the reasons we fell in love with each other so many years ago.
Protect him - and his heart -  every day and preserve the butterflies we've give each other over time. 
(Help those butterflies find their way back to us every now and again.)
Give us the strength and patience necessary to cultivate our marriage and our family.

 And don't ever let our passions die.

Above all else, please Lord, help us to seek you in all things and don't ever trust us to make our own plans. 
(Yours are always better.)

And finally, I heard this song a few months ago for the first time and I couldn't help but think of Tony and our (at times) tumultuous relationship.  I love that it recognizes both the ups and downs of life and the call to celebrate it all. 

Here's to us, Anthony Thomas!  Two years down and hopefully many, many, many more together.  I love you so so much.

Stuck it out this far together

Put our dreams through the shredder

Let’s toast cause things got better

and everything could change like that

And all these years go by so fast

But nothing lasts forever

Here's to us

Here's to love

All the times

That we messed up

Here's to you

Fill the glass

Cause the last few nights

Have gone to fast

If they give you hell

Tell em to forget themselves

Here's to us

Here's to us

Here's to all that we kissed

And to all that we missed

To the biggest mistakes

That we just wouldn’t trade

To us breaking up

Without us breaking down

To whatevers comin' our way

My Favorite Bloggers!

I like to think of myself as somewhat selective in the blogs I read, so when I find ones I enjoy reading regularly, I really do become attached!  Here are five blogs I enjoy and recommend checking out:

exodus31three - I love reading Courtney's blog and I'm so happy to have come across it.  The thing I enjoy most is the fact that Courtney, her husband, myself, and my husband share the same hometown!  Since Tony and I no longer live in Memphis, Tennessee - I feel like we can vicariously live through the two of them through the words and pictures in her blog.  I also love how creative she is and how descriptive her words are!  {Oh, and if you haven't been to Memphis before, go and check it out sometime.  It's a very fun city and I don't think you would be disappointed.}

our journey.  I feel like I could be friend's with Tara - her blogs are simply written and I can almost always relate to what she is talking about!  She is such a great story teller - she shares about her life and writes with such vivid detail.  Surprise, surprise... but I found her blog through Pinterest while searching tips on traveling to Walt Disney World with a baby.  I found this entry & have been following her (and loving it!) ever since!

The Great Umbrella Heist - You know how people (who have cable) love reality TV shows?  Well we don't have cable and honestly, anymore, most of reality TV (minus the Bachelor) is just not so much my cup of tea.  With this being said, I feel like (and get ready for this to sound creepy with a capital "C") reading about Sarah and her kiddos is my guilty pleasure!!!  I love reading about her three beautiful girls as they grow - the everyday challenges they face and the beauty in the joys they encounter.  Oh and... big shock... but where do you suppose one of their favorite vacation spots is??  None other than WALT DISNEY WORLD.  Are you starting to see a trend here?  I've been following Sarah for a while now but just recently started reading her blog back from the beginning - Seriously.  Go read her blog!  It'll quickly turn into a favorite of yours (if it's not already), I'm sure!

And So I Give Thanks: A Glimpse Into My Everyday Holy - I was aiming to mention five blogs I haven't referenced lately, but I am kinda bending the rules on this one since Sarah just guest blogged a few weeks ago!  I say this about several of the bloggers I follow, but I know we'd be two peas in a pod and would get along famously.  Biggest subject we'd bond over?  DISNEY!  Oh yeah, she's a Disney fanatic, too!!!  She is also a runner and reading about her running experiences really pushes me towards setting and achieving more fitness-minded goals.

 

A Method in the Madness - Okay, I just love Ryanne and enjoy following the journey as she and her husband try to conceive.  It hasn't been an easy road but I love that she shares their story - both ups and downs.  And maybe that's my favorite part... that her blog is so real and balanced.  She shares the happy stuff and she's not afraid to talk about the struggles that make us who we are.

Any blogs you follow and would recommend for me to check out?  Do you already follow any of these lovely ladies?  If so, what's your favorite part of their blog?

Baby Number Two.

Now don't get too excited, there is no baby on the way!  But it seems like this is a popular topic of discussion lately.  It's really no wonder I've had baby fever!

Why Tony and I are talking about it:

We are at a pretty great stage right now.  Presley is becoming more self sufficient.  We are well enough out of the newborn phase where all of the "there is no way in HELL I am ever doing this again!" has worn off.  And not only that, but Presley is such a jewel in our life that it is a motivator for wanting another!  Who would have thought!?  I just find myself thinking all the time how blessed we would be to have another beautiful child when I look at Presley.

Why others are talking about it:

No more exciting pregnancy stuff and no more exciting newborn stuff... people are ready for some excitement from us, it seems, because as I said before - expanding our family is a subject that's come up with friends & family lately.  And really, it isn't something that bothers me like I thought it would.  I like talking about the possibilities of expanding our family and I enjoy hearing experiences and opinions from other people.  Maybe this is because I am very comfortable with my life right now...  I don't feel the need to people-please anymore like I have for so much of my life... I feel like I can stand on my own feet and state my opinion without apologizing for it.

But also, I think it's just a comfortable topic for people to talk about.  Which is funny, if you think about it, considering what an intimate decision it is.

Of course, there are reasons why we would want to postpone at this point in our life.

We aren't at a place of permanent residence.  We'd like to own a home and ideally, move out of the Midwest within the year.  And if we move, that means new job(s) and all sorts of uncertainties that come along with that.

Time with Presley.  Of course, Presley wouldn't be going anywhere if another child were brought into the scene, but some days we really relish the moments we have with her and think - it might be nice being just the three of us for some time (or always).  And then there are the days where I am feeling frazzled (why is she not eating ANYTHING I give her?  Really... throwing another fit?  Waking up an hour earlier than usual all week!?) for different reasons and think... okay, maybe one is ENOUGH for now.

I used to think that the main motivator for expanding our family would be based on the proximity of age between our kids - I love that my sisters and I are close in age and have always theoretically wanted that for my children as well.  But I don't even think Tony and I talk much about that point.  I just thought about it the other day and the if we got pregnant at this point our kids would be two years apart.  That sounds insane on so many levels!  Thinking about Presley as a two year old?  Thinking about Presley as a sibling?  Starting all over in the baby stage - what are we thinking?  I just can't imagine those possibilities because it seems so different from our current life.  But it doesn't sound too bad to my ears lately.  The possibility of expanding our hearts and making room for another set of grimy hands in our house has been weighing heavily on my heart lately.  I'm not sure if it's just a little phase I'm going through (what most call "baby fever") or if it's a more permanent longing... I've asked myself an lot recently... idea or reality...  do I like the reality of adding another child into the mix or the idea?  But if you knew me 15 months ago, would you have EVER guessed I'd want another child?!  Absolutely makes me chuckle!!!

I guess at this point, I am open to new possibilities.  And it is really a freeing and peaceful feeling.  Though, no body get your hopes up.  I don't remember if I've shared very much about it in any of my previous posts (other than briefly in my guest post), but all the ups and downs in my cycles are still just as prevalent after having Presley as they were before.  Since my PCOS was diagnosed on symptoms alone (no further testing) I sometimes doubt the diagnosis, but other times when I read more about it... it's hard to dispute.  Though, it would be nice and give me peace of mind to really confirm whether or not I have PCOS through some form of medical testing or further investigation.  {I recently had my thyroid tested and the results came back normal... so at least we know it's not that!}

And, of course, all things considered, this is really only MY opinion on the matter that I've shared, not so much my husbands.  He sways back and forth between the possibilities, but right now, he is more inclined to wish we'd postpone at the time being.  {Reason #5 that I love my husband:  He is almost always the yin to my yang while remaining a part of the same team.  I love it and I love him for it.}  So we will see when and if there will ever be a baby Duggan #2 in our near or more distant future... but for now it is sure a fun topic to think about!

I'm a Mother Lover!

How was everyone's Mothers Day?!  I hope it was exactly what you needed it to be, whether that is relaxing, adventurous, or somewhere in between!

I spent the majority of Mothers Day this past Sunday with my husband, daughter, and mom in Peoria, Illinois - which is about 1.5 hours from where we live.  Well, let me back up a bit... the first surprise of the day was Presley waking us up an hour earlier than she normally does - silly girl!  And then Tony made the most delicious breakfast tacos for us before we left for Peoria - Italian sausage, red bell pepper, hash browns, and scrambled eggs!!!  Then we played at home with Presley, my mom came over, and we hit the road.  My husband then surprised me by taking us to McAlister's Deli for lunch, which was one of our all-time favorite places to eat when we lived in Memphis.  Peoria is the closest location for us so in the past we've tripped to Peoria solely for McAlister's - sad but true!  I love my husband for doing that.  My mom was trying to guess all the way what Tony had planned for us and she had guessed we were going to the Peoria Zoo.  It's a beautiful zoo but we had been there a few times before so I didn't think Tony would be taking us there.  And I was right because he pulled up to a place I'd never seen before - Wildlife Prairie State Park!  Everything was BEAUTIFUL from the animals to the enclosures they were in, everything was just wonderful to look at!  One of our favorite things was that the animals are all native to the area and so their enclosures were very natural to the environment and looked incredibly low-maintenance.  We plan to go back sometime this summer or fall with our nice camera (versus the cameras on our phones) and with our jogging stroller (versus our umbrella stroller with crappy tires not made for walking trails).

Before we really started the day Sunday, I put together some pictures of some of the most important Mothers in our lives.  I didn't do a very good job at sending Mothers Days cards out this year to the moms in my life because at times I see cards as being frivolous - don't we all end up throwing them out after a while anyways?  To me, the most important part is the sentiments that are scrawled within the cards, not so much the cards themselves.  Well, unfortunately, we were so busy between visiting Peoria and a cookout back in the Quad Cities with family that I didn't really make the time to let those moms know I was thinking of them!  So here I am a day two days late to make up for it!

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Here are our beautiful grandmothers - Sharon Catherine (my maternal grandmother), Evangeline Sue (Tony's maternal grandmother), Alma Lou (Tony's paternal grandmother), and Elinor Rose (my paternal grandmother).  We are so grateful to have 3 out of our 4 grandmothers still here with us and consider ourselves supremely blessed to have gotten to know each of them throughout our lives.  (Though, I really wish Presley had the opportunity to get to know her Great Grandmommy just as much as I wish I had gotten to know her.  That is her on the top right holding my husband, Tony, when he was a little guy!)  Our grandmothers brought some of the most important and influential people in our lives - our parents and our aunts and uncles!  And where on EARTH would we be without them?!  Not only that, but our grandmothers are responsible for turning our parents into the thoughtful, loving, and caring people we have known them to be today.  All 4 are known for being STRONG women who have taught us how important it is to set goals for ourselves and to ever stop achieving.  Not only that, but they've always loved us, given us some of the most fun memories, and they've occasionally spoiled us!  Thank you for the various legacies you've started for our families, we promise to continue and honor them.

Here is my lovely mother-in-law, Selena Jane.  I've gotten to know Selena over the last ten years or so and I don't think anything has bonded me to her quite as closely as giving birth to her granddaughter has.  Don't get me wrong, I've felt close to Selena for many years, but sharing the rights to Presley has really just taken our relationship together to a whole new level and I am lucky to consider my mother-in-law as one of my closest friends!  Not only did she raise my husband to be the man he is (and my hilarious brother-in-law!), but she has loved Tony's father all these years as well as overcome some great adversities - all which has been an example to those around her of what a courageous & dedicated woman she is to herself and to her family.  I look forward to the years in which we live closer, Selena!  For all girl slumber parties and going for pedicures with Presley, for family dinners with ALL of us together again, and making new family traditions and memories.  Thank you so much for making a space for me in your heart and your family - I promise to always do the very same for you!

And here is my mom, Julie Marie!  I'm lucky enough to just live about 4 miles down the road from her and know that if I ever need her help, then I can count on her to help me out.  Everyone has always told me I looked exactly like her and it's pretty cool to carry on the tradition and hearing how much my daughter looks like me!  I am so grateful for my mom being brave enough to face childbirth not once or twice, but three times over - not only giving life to me but to my two sisters as well.  And if anyone knows me, they know how much my sisters mean to me!  How can I ever repay the woman who not only brought me into this world but my two best friends as well?  I will always love my mom and will always support her because if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be who I am today!  I couldn't imagine a better Mom and wouldn't ask for anyone but her.  I love you mom - Happy Mothers Day!  Thanks for taking care of me for all these years - changing countless poopy diapers, cleaning up the throw up, & giving us a house that was truly a home to us for so many years.  It's our 26th Mothers Day together... here's hoping we have many more together and lots of reasons to celebrate over our time together!!!

And a special Happy Mothers Day to all my blog friends - those who are trying to conceive, those who are expecting, those who celebrated with their kiddos, and everyone in between!  Happy Mothers Day to my sister, Amanda, and my cousin, Breanne, who celebrated their FIRST Mothers Day with their sweet babies this year.  Happy Mothers Day to my sweet friend, Ashley, who is celebrating her first pregnant Mothers Day and will soon have a beautiful boy to keep her busy!  Happy Mothers Day to our beautiful aunts - Jill, Donna, Kelly, Angie, & Carrie and also to Tony's beautiful step-Grandmother, Judy!  I hope you all had wonderful days and know that I was thinking of all of you this past Sunday!!!  Now everybody, take a moment and say a prayer of thanksgiving for your mother (and if you're not the praying type, find a way to show her how much she means to you and if she is no longer with you, find a way to honor all that she was to you in your daily life!) - no matter the relationship you have with your mother, she brought you into this world and for that we all have something to be thankful for!

Marriage Monday: Stephany's Guest Post - The Waiting Period

My desire for marriage is never something I've doubted. I've always known I want to find that person I want to be with for the rest of my life and create a family. I firmly believe God has placed a desire for marriage on my heart and I'm trusting Him with my love story.

But it's not always easy and I have many days, weeks, and months where I feel so frustrated with being single and so ready for this waiting period of my life to be over. I'm tired of being the single girl in the group, tired of not having anything to add when my friends complain about husbands and marriage and raising kids. It gets lonely and there are times when I wonder if I'll ever be the girl to wear a white dress, walk down an aisle, and say "I do."

I'm not naive to the pressures of marriage. I know the divorce rate. I hear the complaints. I know it's not roses and butterflies all the time. Marriage is hard work and requires a lot of compromise and dedication to your partner. You have to grow as your partner grows, grow into new seasons of your marriage and have the ability to change as it changes. 

But you get to be with the love of your life. Your person. Your best friend, the one you're meant to be with, your soulmate. You get to wake up next to them and have adventures with them and watch them grow into a person you love more and more each day. Marriage is an incredible thing that we get to experience. It's worth all the hard work. 

As a single girl, marriage seems like this unattainable state. I want it. Some days, I even crave it. But it feels like that part of my life is so far away that it's hard to imagine myself as a wife.

One of my ways of coping with being single, especially during the harder moments, is writing letters to my future husband. I began doing this three years ago as a way of writing down all my fears, desires, and needs at the moment. I wanted to have a record of my thoughts during my season of waiting. I wanted to have these letters that I wrote to my husband when I had no clue who he was. I'm not consistent in how I write or when I write... just whenever my spirit moves me to do so. Sometimes, the letters are bursting with hope and life and happiness. And sometimes, they are not. Sometimes, they are dark and moody and filled with raw honesty of my heart at some moment in time. These letters are as much for me as they are for him. They are to remind me of the man I will give these letters to. They are to remind me that God would not place this desire if He didn't intend to see it through to completion.

Right now, I know I am meant to be in this stage of my life. The waiting period, as we're so apt to declare it. Being single has its benefits. It's a time when I can focus just on me - on my desires and needs and wants. I can grow by myself, without having to worry about leaving anyone behind. I am free to follow my heart wherever it may take me. I can be unabashedly selfish with my time and put all my attention on me. As a single girl, I am choosing to honor myself and my values by being true to my beliefs and not falling for the first guy who shows me any kind of attention. It means being picky about who I spend my time with and what dates to go on. It means finding my truth, honing my strengths, and learning to love me as me. 

It can be hard to be single, especially as it seems like I'm not following the path I should be on. With friends all around me getting married and having babies (my best friend from high school is already a married mother of two!), I can feel so far behind the curve. I lose friends because we're in different seasons of our life and as year by year goes by with no interesting prospects, it can make me wonder if there is something wrong with me. If I'm not doing enough or being enough for the perfect guy to fall in love with me.

But here is the truth of this life we live. We are meant to be where we are right now. I am meant to be single. There is a reason God has called me to a time of waiting. Perhaps I'm just not ready to be a wife just yet. I still have growing to do. It was never my path to get married at a young age. I always had a feeling I would be an older bride, but that's okay. There is nothing wrong with singlehood. There is nothing wrong with being alone and taking my time with this dating thing. 

In essence, we are all in the place God wants us to be. There are times when He will push us to do more and spread out to new beginnings and changes in our lives, but He's always there guiding us. God is always there, guiding us, helping us, and showing us that when we follow in His footsteps, we are on the best path we could ever hope to be on.

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One of my absolute favorite segments across the entire blog-world is Stephany's letters to her future husband and once I heard that she set a goal for herself to guest blog 50 times in 2013, I jumped at the chance for her to share her story with my readers here!  Thank you so very much Stephany for sharing about your prospective and life with us.  I'm certainly cheering you on in this waiting period.

You can find Stephany's blog here:  Stephany Writes