Bad Mommy. (Crosby: 1.5 year update)

For my first two kids I pretty well kept up with their growth and milestones on my blog. Third kid? Not so much. I can't remember the last time I updated about Crosby. Poor buddy!

So let me tell you a little bit about my buddy, Crosby, these days. He's a solid 20 months old - nearly 21 months - so we are somehow closing in on his second birthday. (HOW?!) And we're still breastfeeding. If it were entirely up to me then we would probably be done with it by now but Crosby is still really attached to nursing. I will - no doubt - miss it when we're done. Or at least parts of it. Like the closeness. And how Crosby automatically comes to me for comfort or a place to fall asleep. I can't wait to have a bit more personal space at the moment... but I know it'll be something I miss down the road.

It seems like Crosby will NEVER be done with "milkies" though. Molly weaned herself around 18-19 months of age and I had to cut Presley off at 23 months due to my preg…

HBD, Dad.

My dad would have entered his sixties today.

Honest question here: What are you really supposed to do to celebrate the birthday of someone you love who has passed away? I ask because I'm honestly curious what other people think about it as well as how others spend those days.

If I were the dead one, I am sure I'd want the people who love and miss me to do something that makes them happy. And also something that makes them think of me. Something that would make other people happy.

This year I thought about it and figured 60 is a pretty monumental birthday. I wanted to do something for my dad's birthday that would honor him & his life... things he would maybe be doing if he were still alive today - mostly things that would bring other people joy because that's what he would be doing if he were still alive.

So I'm actively putting together a list of 60+ things to do for my dad's 60th birthday. Things that will make me happy. Ways to remember my dad... to hono…

Too Much.

I can't count the number of times recently where I felt like I just didn't quite belong. I walk away from an interaction with someone else thinking - what it is about me that people either just don't get or don't like? Was I not being friendly enough? Do I seem uncaring, unapproachable, unwelcoming? Am I just too boring? Or was I just being TOO much? Overly familiar? Too sensitive? Too loud? Too quiet?

Does anyone else feel like that? And when did that start? Because my girls are so unapologetically themselves. They seem so comfortable in their skin. And thank God for the many people around them allow them that space to be who they are. I look at them and hope that they never become smaller to fit inside any box someone else tries to place them in. I hope they aren't made to feel like they need to be any different than who they are right now.
In the end, I mostly chalk my hurt feelings up to being a product of my own (many) insecurities. It's taking me a littl…

The Balancing Act.

So I have this great devotional for women "100 Days of Praise" and towards the end of 2011 (yep... over 6 years ago) I started reading and blogging along each day. And even though I've had over 2,000 days to complete the 100 days of praise... I only blogged about 9 of them. NINE!Yikes. So here we go in a new year and my goal is to pick this book up and give it my focus and attention. It's so much easier to feel positive when you take a moment to give thanks for the good things in your life. My life is more fulfilling when I include God in it and make time for Him. And I'd like to thank a recent conversation with a lifelong friend of mine who pointed out that it's silly as heck to let my issues with a certain subset of Christians get in the middle of my relationship with Christ. So while I'm not entirely sure where I stand with organized religion and I'm on very shaky ground in my spiritual life... I am looking to repair much of that. Baby steps.


Falling in {Young} Love

Seventeen years ago this week, I was falling in love.  And I was thirteen.  People would tell me I was young and naive, that it wasn't really love, and more... and to be honest, I started to believe them.  Not that what I was feeling wasn't genuine - because I never doubted that - but that maybe with time and age I would realize that it was more infatuation than actual love.  That maybe it felt more intense because I had never experienced it before. 

It was the weekend before Martin Luther King Day and my sister, Amanda - who was fifteen at the time, and I went on a ski trip with a church in our neighborhood.  I'm not sure how many of us there were, but there were at least twenty of us in middle school and high school going on the ski trip - both guys and girls.  My best friend, Christine, was going too and I was super excited to have a fun weekend away with her.  Peyton & Damen were going and that meant Tony was going, too.  (Because back in those days they went jus…

Brain Dump.

There is so much going on at all times that what I need right now is an "empty" button for my brain. So, hold on tight because there is no telling where this post is headed...

Presley gets her tonsils out soon. Like, next week. Before I could even publish this we ended up having to reschedule the procedure. So she'll still have to have her tonsils out but not until mid-January. And I have so many feelings about it.

Mostly, I am just worried about Presley having surgery. Are we making the best decision for her? (I think so.) How is she going to react to the medicine? How in the hell are we all going to handle her recovery?! I'm sure it'll all fly by - these days usually do - but leading up to it I have so many worries. Especially knowing & loving Presley. She is just so precious. I hate seeing her hurting and this will be tough. It's nice knowing she gets to have popsicles and ice cream and all the fun things during this sucky time, though. And I know …

Chores {Marriage Monday}

In an attempt to put off some housework I should currently be doing I'll instead write a blog post about chores...

Before we had kids and we had unlimited time to talk about our relationships, my sister and I had a conversation about duties around the house. Do you split them up evenly? Do you share the tasks? Do you have set, specific chores you do regularly? Or do you switch them up?
My sister was of the mindset that if her and her husband switched up the tasks and didn't assign specific chores to "his or hers" then they wouldn't get burnt out on them. Which is a good idea in theory. But was about six years and three kids ago. And I'm pretty sure they have designated chores these days. 
For the most part we have our assigned chores around here. He takes out the trash. {Reason #15 I love my husband: He takes out our yucky trash for me!} I do the dishes. He's supposed to be in charge of the laundry. (I loathe the laundry.) Which mostly means he will put t…