Showing posts with label waiting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label waiting. Show all posts

Friday, August 17, 2018

30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me: Dear Sixteen Year-Old Me...

A while back I stumbled upon a list of writing prompts (here) and I thought it was a brilliant way to write more while also giving my kids something substantial to read from me. I lost my dad without getting to know him as a person and I would really give anything to have pieces of him. So, despite how narcissistic it can often times feel to write about myself, I'm doing this for my kiddos. Slowly but surely, that is, because this will only be the second prompt completed here. (You can find them above at the "For My Kids" page)



Today I'm here to tell my 16 year-old self 10 things - so here we go.

01. Friends will come and go.

This was a really painful lesson for me as I lost a lot of friends throughout high school whether someone moved, graduated, grew apart, or due to bad decisions. Each loss felt devastating at the time. It wasn't until quite some time later when I realized it was OK and normal to grow apart from people throughout your life. The thing that really helped me here was the reason, season, and lifetime poem. Not everyone is destined to be a major part of our life forever and while it can be painful, it is all in God's plan for us. God knows what we don't and most of the time it starts to become apparent after a while why those people left our lives. Letting go can feel really great, too. I spent way too much time trying to hold onto people so tightly that I missed out on joy and new experiences or even just the things that were right in front of my face. So, friends WILL come and go. Let them go. Have peace in your heart about it. You will never have to beg someone to be part of your life who wants to be there. And you know what? Some friends will stay. Just keep swimming. Be good to the friends in your life.



02. Life is GREY.

In high school I saw things in black OR white extremes. And I did a lot of judging of people early on. At some point it was coming from a good place, but it really didn't come out as anything nice. Because no matter how well-intentioned it is, judging someone else just isn't our job. I wish I had known you could still love people despite their choices. That you can lovingly disagree with someone. You can look out for someone and try to be there for them and do it all without shoving your opinions and judgments on them. Life is grey. And that's okay.

03. Travel. 

Okay so you won't likely do much traveling with your sixteen year-old budget... but still. If you get the chance to go somewhere or do something new: DO IT. Don't let the fear of anything hold you back. If you get into a situation you don't like - then come back. I was always too afraid to go do anything in case it wasn't for me. (Like working at a summer camp away from home or trying the Disney college program.) Fear kept me from doing what I wanted to do too many times. I wish I had done more traveling with myself or my sisters or my friends or Tony. Not elaborate, not expensive trips. Just going anywhere and everywhere that I had the opportunity to go. I wish I had explored more unfamiliar places and seen more new things with the people I love before my kids came along. Because now my life is centered around them and being a mom. I'm not saying you can't travel once having kids and I'm also not saying I'm not planning to travel anymore... it's just not an option for me at this given moment. And I wish I had done more of it when I had more money, less responsibilities, and the time.



04. Exercise safe sex until you choose to become a parent.

Even if a doctor tells you it will be extremely difficult to get pregnant without fertility treatments. You will love being a parent one day - but just wait until you are ready. And honestly, there is no rush to have sex. Wait until you're ready for that, too. It'll all be worth it.

05. Speaking of that - exercise.

Aside from cheerleading in high school and gym class, I didn't exercise. Why would I? I could eat and drink whatever I wanted and nothing bad would ever happen. But I wish I would have known how beneficial regular exercise is and I wish I would have started that from a young age. Because once it becomes a part of your life and routine then it's just part of who you are. (Or at least that's how it was for me when I exercised regularly later in life when I had all that pre-kids energy.) It helps your mood, it helps your body to function properly, and it just makes you feel great. So start now and keep up with it.



06. Open a checking & savings account, work as much as you can.

I got this advice when I was 18 but I had already been working two years by that point. And I had a stack of paychecks I had never cashed!!! What. A. Mess. I knew absolutely nothing about the principles of saving money let alone the skills required to navigate a simple bank transaction. So. Here it is. Open up a checking account. In your name. It's okay to feel intimidated at first. If you can, open a savings account as well. Hopefully something with a bit better interest rate than your checking account. Try hard to not touch the money you put into your savings account.

Now, work as much as you can while you're young and able and have the energy and free time. Because, why not? If you're not working you'll have more time to make bad decisions and get into trouble. If you spend your time working you'll keep yourself busy with being productive AND you'll be making money. If that's money you don't need right now - SAVE IT. Don't blow it on stupid clothes you'll wear once and realize you don't even like. (If that advice sounds specific that's because it is.) Bonus points if you find a job you genuinely love.



07. Don't be hurtful just because you're hurting.

Agh. This is such an important lesson. When someone does or says something hurtful to you, you do not get a free pass to do or say something hurtful. Take a step back, walk away... deal with your insides before you deal with someone who caused you pain. You might think you are hurting them and getting even but you are just damaging yourself. You are shaping WHO you are. Do you really want to become someone who hurts people? No. You don't. So just don't go there. Be kind. Be vulnerable. Even in the face of hurtful people. They are just hurting themselves in the long run. Get to a space mentally where you can be hurt and not be hurtful in return. Be someone your little sister can look up to and feel proud.

08. Stay away from alcohol until you're 21.

Seriously. Theres a great reason why you legally have to be 21 until you partake. Trust me. Theres just no need for it yet. You've only got this ONE time to be a teenager and alcohol will only mess that up. The fun part about alcohol is how freeing it allows you to be and you know what is beautiful about this part of your life? Being a teenager is a time in your life where you are free to follow your heart and your whims. It's a time when you're no longer a kid so you've got a bit more freedom and at the same time your not yet an adult so you aren't weighed down by those responsibilities and expectations yet. Being sixteen is freeing. You don't need alcohol to free you. And really, you don't need alcohol to free you at any age. Learn that before you have your first drink and you'll already be ahead of the curve. Also, alcohol is a depressant. It can and will disrupt the balance you have going on... it will affect your thoughts, feelings, and actions. And it can sometimes cause long-term mental health issues. Honestly, you should stay away from alcohol until your frontal lobes are fully formed (around age 25) but I get that I'm really pushing it here. Point is...

Learn to be yourself, make friends, dance, flirt, and socialize without the buffer of alcohol. It's okay if it's awkward. Awkward is good. Awkward is real. Everyone is awkward as a teen. Feeling awkward means we are just outside our comfort zone and that is where we learn and grow. We like awkward.



09. Get help.

So earlier I said at 16 years old your not a kid anymore but that wasn't the whole truth. You are still a kid. You are not ready for adult situations. And you will find yourself thrust into situations you are just not ready for. This is where you need to get help. Stress is a great help indicator. It usually means you are having to bear something you can't fully deal with on your own. THAT IS OKAY. That is normal. It just means it's time to ask someone who loves and supports you for help. PLEASE, please don't be afraid or feel too intimidated to ask an adult for help. Think of an adult who makes you feel loved and safe. Go to that person. There is no "thing" too small to ask for help. Don't feel shame. I tell my kids now -- who are most definitely NOT teens yet but the same applies -- it's a BIG kid behavior to ask for help. It may not feel like it, but it is.

10. Try new things.

New foods. New experiences. All of it. Well, the healthy stuff. Let me give you an example. Senior year (before moving to Illinois) for some reason I decided to give bowling a try. Not just for fun on the weekends with friends at midnight bowling... like the actual bowling team at school. I wish I could remember what motivated me to go but I went to the tryouts. And it was FUN. Who knew there was an actual method to bowling?! Not me... not until I went, at least. I ended up making the team mostly because the amount of girls who showed up at tryouts was the number of girls they needed for a full team. The people on the team were wonderful and kind and I learned a lot while having a lot of fun. And I genuinely got better at bowling. Why did I wait until senior year to try out? I wish so much that someone had sat me down freshman year and told me failing is okay. We're not going to be good at everything we do but everything is worth a shot. So try everything.

I admire my little sister so much because she had the guts to try something new her freshman year when she tried out for volleyball. She'd never played before and had so much to learn but she found out she was a quick learner and she was talented and athletic and she did fantastic. She made the team and she excelled. Watching Ashley play volleyball and practicing with her are some of my favorite memories from high school. I wish all the time I'd had the courage she did and would have tried out my freshman year. I might not have made it - but what if I would have? We could have played together for two years in high school. And I would have had fun because that community was full of great people.

Try all the things. Don't be afraid of failure. It's just as likely you'll succeed. But if and when you do fail it'll propel you forward. It'll help you discover your capabilities.



Other great things: learn to love coffee, get your ass to church but more importantly know God, read lots of books, spend time with your family, develop hobbies, life is about more than the opposite sex (or more specifically life is about more than what the opposite sex thinks of you), don't waste your time on mean or fake friends, go to sleep at a decent time, get out of your comfort zone as much as possible, be good to your sisters, eat food that is actually good for you, life isn't always about you, LISTEN TO GOOD MUSIC, the popular thing is almost never the right thing... and a million more.

Kids, if you're reading this, I wish I could just breathe these lessons into you. But I can't. You are going to have to make the choice to hear these things or not. And I hope you take this time in your life to listen to your mommy and learn some of the things she wished she knew at your age. I love you SO MUCH and always want what is best for you and I hope you feel that.

What kinds of lessons do you wish someone would have taught your 16 year-old self? What are some of the lessons your thankful you were taught at that age?

Monday, December 26, 2016

My 2016 Grown-Up Christmas List

So, I love this time of year. It's full of that wonderful magic feeling. One of the tangible things I enjoy most is the 24/7 Christmas music on certain radio stations! The. Best. But unfortunately this also results in many eye-rolls when they play the few Christmas songs I'm not extremely fond of like Grown-Up Christmas List by Kelly Clarkson/Amy Grant/anyone, I Want a Hippopotamus for ChristmasMistletoe by Justin Bieber, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by the Jackson 5, and Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. This is certainly not an all-inclusive list... just the very worst that I came up with off the top of my head.

Anyways. After listening to one of the above songs, I got to thinking about what I really wanted for Christmas. So, here is my grown-up Christmas list:

1. New toilets - the tall ones that can also suck down a whole bag of golf balls! (Yes! They exist!!!) 
2. Tankless water heather - especially since it seems our current one may be going out and is certainly not efficient these days!
3. New paint throughout the house - and one that doesn't chip!!!
4. Shoe molding pretty much throughout half of the house, too.
5. Probably new flooring in the other half of the house. Definitely no more carpet in the dining room or bathrooms!
6. A mantle & fireplace that doesn't look so dated.
7. A not-busted-up driveway.
8. Oh yeah, somebody has to fix the mower. (Not it!!!!)
9. Remodel our weird looking master bathroom... rip out the old tub with jets entirely. That thing can be so unsanitary. Plus, it's not human-shaped. I want a tub where I can be actually submerged in - like all body parts under water at the same time.
10. Start and finish our 4th bedroom. Which includes fixing up/finishing off the stairs and walls (possible insulation first?), doing some work on the window, flooring, electrical work, paint, etc...
11. A new HVAC system. Which needs to be done already, but once we get the 4th bedroom done we'll need a bigger unit. And we'll need the 4th bedroom connected to said new unit.
12. Update faucets, cabinets, drawer pulls, door knobs, light fixtures, and several windows throughout the house.

I mean, I could keep going. We keep MEANING to do all these things - but where are we pulling this money and time from? When we bought this house we got a pretty good deal on it and we did so knowing that we'd need to eventually do most of these things. And I know, none of these things keep the house from being livable. Carpets in the bathroom are kinda gross, but we can survive with it the way it is. Still, these are the things I dream of doing and the things that made my Christmas list this year. This doesn't even get into the other things I'd like... a family vacation, a solo vacation, and a vacation with my husband. (Yes... three different vacations.) Bananas that don't brown so quickly. A set of those amazing zipper sheets for every bed in the house. An updated wardrobe since I have no idea what to wear anymore. A gym membership. A monthly spa trip. And mostly, I want to continue to be thankful for the things I have in the New Year. I have a beautiful, relatively healthy family that keeps me busy and happy, a house that keeps us safe and warm, more than enough of the things we need and so many things that we want.
And I would give up every single "thing" to keep these people safe and healthy

But I'm hoping we get a few of these crossed off the grown-up Christmas list in 2017... if you were me, where would you start?

Monday, October 3, 2016

Baby 3.0: 40 Weeks & Waiting.

40 weeks pregnant with Crosby
I'm feeling: Pretty down. I waited 50 minutes at the doctor's office today. It is so disheartening to wait and wait and wait. I know it happens. I know to expect it. But every damn week? It makes me feel unimportant. And a little honest communication along the way goes a LONG way, if you ask me. I go up to the window after waiting so long to see if I should reschedule and of course, they get me back to ultrasound right away after that. So... I'm thinking they forgot about me? I'm not sure what happened. Not to mention after my ultrasound my doctor barely saw me. He didn't check my cervix or measure my belly or anything this week. Thankfully, my fluid levels are good-ish. They're a little on the borderline low side so that means drinking more water for me. I don't think I've really had many contractions so far so I suppose maybe that's why he didn't check my cervix. I know there is not much to be done about waiting for Crosby to come BUT it would make me feel much more comforted if I felt like my doctor was doing everything he could to be there for me. Support. Encouragement. Empathy. Reassurance. I didn't feel much of that today. So... that's why I'm feeling a little bit down.

Baby's size: We are officially at the watermelon stage. I've been feeling some major round ligament pain lately and as my doctor so empathetically put it... "your belly isn't exactly small at this point" - so he's getting big.

High of the week: My little sister was in town this weekend and it was nice having her here. We got pedicures and that was so relaxing. After that we went to see some friends from high school and I can't even begin to say how great that was! I laughed... so much!! And got to catch up with some really great people. We made some fun trips out to the zoo this past week. I've loved having my brother-in-law in town and getting all together.


Had to take a family siblings photo while we had the kids' aunt and uncle in town!



Tony with his brother & dad



Low of the week: Feeling not great after my doctor's appointment today.

What I'm excited about: I'm so bummed right now and just frustrated with the waiting... it's hard for me to summon some positive feelings right now. There's only so many times I can share my excitement to meet this little guy and have my spirits crushed a little bit each day he stays put. I'm very grateful he is healthy and safe. But I'll be grateful when he's here and I can stop the second guessing, worrying, and anxiety revolving around his well-being and labor and delivery. 40 week is already a long time to wait. So yes, I have so much to be thankful for. I have so much to look forward to. I have so much to feel excited about. I know he will be here eventually. I know I can't and won't be pregnant forever. I know how I should feel or how I could feel but right now I'm just feeling a bit worn down.

Once I'm feeling a bit more upbeat I'll write again, but that's it for now. Hope everyone's week has started off on a good foot and if it hasn't - it can only get better from here, guys.