Marriage Monday: Don't Underestimate the Day Date!

I just had the best Monday I've had in a long time.

Tony surprised me with a day date and we rode Bird scooters around Memphis today! It. Was. So. Fun.

To say I was intimidated up front is an understatement. Though I LOVE trying new things, this was totally out of my comfort zone! Having to ride alongside traffic made me nervous at first. Riding a scooter takes balance while riding an electric scooter takes balance and timing and it's kinda scary to go that fast!!! But also SUPER fun.

We started in Midtown and decided on a whim to ride all the way Downtown, get a late lunch at Huey's, and then ride them back. Truly the only downside (besides me being clumsy the entire time) was my scooter dying halfway back in an area of town that didn't have any scooters! It took us a little bit to track another one down during a super hot part of the day and of course Tony was a complete gentleman and insisted I take his scooter and he would run alongside me which was so sweet. I tried to protest and asked him why should he have to give up his scooter and he said, "Because I'm the runner." So. True! And thank God for that. We finally found an area nearby with scooters and we got two that were charged up and headed back.

It was one of the BEST dates I have ever been on. I laughed and smiled so much and was pushed just enough out of my comfort zone to make the date even more different, special, and meaningful. Most of all I loved reconnecting with Tony in our vibrant city on a beautiful late-summer day.

Which brings me to my point: DON'T underestimate the power of the day date!!! I get it... there is just something a little magical about the nighttime. It's typically the time of day reserved for most of our sensual moments. Meanwhile, days are for getting things done so that you can take it easy at night. We run the errands in the morning so we can have fun later. But spending the afternoon with my husband and the sun and the river and a scooter was pretty close to perfection. So if daytimes work best for dating your spouse -- get out there and day date the crap out of each other.

Currently x21 {link up}

Linking up with Harvesting Kale for another (few) week(s) of "Currently" prompts.
LAST week it was {appreciating, feeling, looking, regretting, playing}

APPRECIATING:  My new phone.  I know it's really not all that "new" considering I've had it for several weeks now... but it's just so NICE!  The screen is huge and the pictures turn out so crisp and clear... I just love it.  Not to mention it's got celebrity status.  Almost everywhere I go someone says, "Oh my goodness! Is that the 6+?"  Always a fun (and easy) conversation starter.

FEELING:  I've really been feeling good lately.  And I've been wanting to feel even better and maybe try to start jogging again (and put the double jogging stroller to good use) or take the plunge and join the YMCA that is just a few miles away (it's just such a sucky YMCA compared to the location in Moline that I worked at for so long... but hey, better than nothing).  For now though I've been doing a couple yoga poses everyday with Presley (or "noga" as she calls it - her favorite is the flamingo pose they do on Sesame Street) along with a couple sets of squats and fire hydrants.  I am going up to our attic to find my dumbbells one of these days...
Memphis/Midsouth folks:  Where is your favorite place to jog with your kiddos in tow?

This week it's {anticipating, contributing, discussing, listening, deciding}

ANTICIPATING:  Okay guys... less than a month until the first MOCKINGJAY movie hits theaters!  I.AM.SO.EXCITED!  I'm even more excited I get to see it with my sisters AND get together for Slapsgiving!  Not to mention, my BIRTHDAY is in a few weeks!  November is on the horizon and it is by far one of the best months of the year.  Followed up by December which is another amazing month and that will mean February is right around the corner... which is Presley's birthday month!!!!  Such an awesome time of the year.


CONTRIBUTING:  I've been wearing Molly in the Ergo carrier a lot lately and it is SO GREAT to be able to have my hands to do whatever I need to do.  Not to mention, she is so content on my chest and I am so much more comfortable with her there rather than in the stroller/car seat all the time.  This is contributing to my lower back aches at the end of the day (probably because I am also chasing a fun, energetic toddler around as well) but it's also responsible for some extra bonding time with my littlest one... which is 110% worth it.  I frequently carry her around the stores we visit (Kroger & Target, mostly) and the park and most recently the Memphis Zoo for several hours.

And I'm not the only one carrying babies around here...

LISTENING:  To so many great songs on repeat lately.  The kind of music that just speaks to your soul.  Good good stuff.

Alex & Sierra: Little Do You Know
Christina Perri: Human
Christina Perri: The Lonely
Lana Del Ray: Born to Die

Skylar Grey: Love the Way You Lie
Sara Ramirez: The Story
Greg Laswell: Your Ghost
Greg Laswell: Comes & Goes in Waves
Lana Del Rey: Blue Jeans
Andrew Belle: In My Veins
Ellie Goulding: Beating Heart

DECIDING:  Last night we got to go on a date night!  It was nice.  And if I'm being honest, almost a little weird without the kids.  Is there such a thing as it feeling too quiet?  Like I said, though, it was so so so nice.  I wanted Tony to decide where we went... sometimes I get tired of making decisions.  Almost went to Five Guys on a last minute whim but we ended up not doing that.  We went to get sushi + hibachi... and holy cow... it was DELICIOUS.  Our waitress and chef were both great - the chef had me come up to the grill and throw the egg in the air all fancy and it was so much fun!  He said, "C'mon up here! If you break the egg, it won't matter!"  It would've been easy to decline but I'm so glad he insisted because even just something small like that made me feel like a version of my former self... which was a good feeling.  (Which reminded me a lot of an interesting article I just read earlier this week.)  And it was funny because Tony referenced HIMYM when Barney gets up at the hibachi grill and does the same thing but completely kills it!  We went out for a drink afterward and don't you hate it when you order a drink and it tastes awful?  Me too!  I ordered a mojito and it was pretty bad.  But I loved the bar we went to and it felt really awesome sitting outside on the patio relaxing in the beautiful weather.  We walked around Midtown which was nice with a sweet, romantic vibe.  And I am so grateful to have Selena... I never have to worry about our kids well-being and know they're with someone who loves them just as much as mommy and daddy.  Not to mention, extremely lucky to have a partner I love and get to date!

That's what we've been up to.  Been meaning to write several times since the last time but life is just busy and days are both short and long, if that makes sense.  Hope to write more later!

Marriage Monday: Our Very Best Marital Advice!

I got some really great advice from one of my favorite professors while I studied at WIU.  Upon congratulating me on my engagement, he told me to make weekly date night a priority in our marriage (especially after having children).  For at least one night out of the week, get out of your normal routine.  Whether that is going out or doing something different at home.  How wonderful is that?  It might not sound revolutionary to some folks, but at this point in my life and my marriage, it totally makes sense.  Regularly reconnecting with each other is so important.

My professor also suggested NOT making movie-going an option for the weekly date night because you end up spending two hours sitting side-by-side staring at a screen... not talking and not even looking at one another!  If you go out to dinner, you are forced to look at each other and talk!  I thought the recommendation was great and as a result, we have gone to fewer and fewer dates to the movie theater since getting that advice. 

But you know what?  I realized recently that Tony and I are movie people!  In our history, we have always gone to movies together.  We bond over our favorite movie franchises and favorite actors - and after our date night the other night (went to see Fast & Furious 6!) we talked more enthusiastically after the movie than if we would have gone to dinner!  And I loved it.  Another thing I loved about our most recent date?  We cut the bullshit.  No makeup & sweatpants for me and hoodies for both of us.  We rushed out of the house without worrying about any of it - just EXCITED to be going on a date and taking a breather as just the two of us for a few hours.  Don't get me wrong, there is a time and place for getting dolled and fancied up for a special occasion or date night with your significant other, but it was also so great to just be us.  I don't remember the last date we took together and while I'm perfectly 100% happy with the choices we've made, it also made me really happy we were able to bust out!  We really should do that more often.  And to make dating each other a priority.

So, I think if I could give a useful piece of advice to newlyweds, that would be something I would advise.  And it got me thinking how much each of us really has to share with the world.  I asked some of my marriage-minded friends for some marital advice and this is what I came up with...

"The best advice I've gotten is that a marriage is a work. It may not be glamorous or romantic, yet it is so true. We have known too many couples that end up getting divorced within a few years after getting married. We feel that too many married couples forget that a marriage takes a lot of patience, sweat, and persistence so they give up when they hit a hard spot, and end their marriage. A marriage is not meant to be easy. If it is always easy then we won't thrive as individuals, and as a couple, and learn how to love each other even in hard times."

 --Ashley R., 28, married two years.

"Lee Brice said it best: Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse 'I love you'. Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense. Never let your praying knees get lazy, and love like crazy!"

 --Jaime, 25

"The other day my boyfriend and I were at my parents’ house and I got rather snippy with him about something dumb, but something I had asked him not to do a few times before. When he left the kitchen, my dad looked at me and said 'Don’t sweat the small stuff babe. All that is, is little things. Life is going to seem a whole lot longer and tougher for you two if ya keep that up...' and he is SO right! I keep going back to that advice when I want to be annoyed or want to correct him. Josh is an AMAZING man, why bring him down about dumb things that mean nothing compared to us?

The advice came from my father who has been with my mother for 36 years I think they know what they are doing!"

 --Jess, 23

"It's so important for both spouses to go into marriage believing that it is a forever commitment. We've been married 2 1/2 years, and already there have been times where our faith, endurance, and belief in each other have been tested. When it comes down to it, almost anything can be 'divorce-worthy'. But when you approach marriage truly believing that divorce is not an option, it changes the way you view things. When a person is at their most unlovable state, that's when they need your love the most.

Also, find your spouse's 'love language' and try to speak it (from the book by Gary Chapman). If words of affirmation make your spouse feel most loved, try to show your love by regularly using words that will build him/her up and avoiding ones that don't. The same idea goes for the other 4 love languages.

Build trust by doing what you say you'll do."

 --Amanda, 28, married 2 years.

"Honesty is the best policy. We are always brutally honest to each other. We never keep secrets or hide things from each other. If you want a marriage to work, you got to be honest 100% with each other, and not afraid to tell the person how your feel."

 --Megan, 29, married 4 years.

"Marry your best friend, learn to compromise, and never go to bed mad at each other."

 --Jamei, 30, married 7 years.

"Do not use your wife's brand new decorative towels to clean up paint. Sorry, I had to!!!"

  --Reanna, married 2 years.

"No matter how many times you ask them, they will ALWAYS throw their dirty clothes next to the basket. Don't even waste the energy asking them to pick them up."

 --Ashley N., 27, married 7 years.

"Communicate at all times and try to use a calm tone. (Definitely hard sometimes but it takes practice!) I've found throughout my husband's deployments that writing letters to each other is fun and an easy way to get what you need to say, out. Give yourselves time to miss each other. If you work opposite shifts, try to grab lunch together so you can at least have one meal/alone time together a day or more often during the week. I have found that trying to catch up on the weekends isn't enough so make sure you equally make an effort to spend time with each other, even if it is only for a little while. Work out/stay active and eat healthy together! You will feel better physically and mentally, and you can both work out any frustrations in the meantime (and if you're upset with each other it's a good excuse to not "talk" and just run or lift it out!) Love each other deeply in the toughest of times, and have both of you place your spouse's needs before you’re own and you will never fail."

 --Nicole, 22, married 8 months.  (Been through almost two deployments now.)

"Communicate no matter how uncomfortable or unsavory the topic may be, always find time for date nights and special little trips alone without the kids, and find things you love to do in common. I always hated the idea of watching football because all the rules confused me. But when my husband told me how important it was to him that I watch a game with him, I caved. Now I love it! Yet another little 'date' we can have. Never fight about disciplining the kids in front of anyone. And I know this piece of advice may be a tad controversial, but it's honest. Sex is SO important in a marriage. My mother gave me this advice long ago and it has served me well. It doesn't matter if he took out the garbage that day, or catered to your ego, or if you 'have a headache', or you're just not feeling it that night. Do it. Even if you just had the worst fight ever. It will reconnect you. It will soften you to listen to your husband's side of an argument. It will make you a more confident woman which makes you better in your job, as a mother, in life in general. And if you aren't doing it ladies, I hate to say it, but someone else will. So get your groove on and do it regularly!! I listened to my mother and I am a happier woman for it! And I am more in love with him now than I ever have been. Oh, and a little counseling never hurt anyone. I believe everyone in the world could use a little tweak here and there. It's a lot of work, marriage. But when you're hurting, or angry, you have to ask yourself this question. Would you rather spend your life with your spouse when it's at its worst rather than spend a day without them? My answer has always been a resounding yes. Sometimes it took someone else to help me see that, but then the work to get back to the good place in your relationship isn't so hard if you know that you wouldn't ever want to be without them."

 --Christi, 38, married 19 years. 

Happy Marriage Monday and a special thank you to everyone who contributed their advice - your words will help bless other marriages!  What is the BEST words of wisdom you've ever gotten on how to make a marriage work?

Happies & Crappies {link up}

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 I decided to take part in Stephanie's weekly link up over at "Vintage Modern Wife" for the first time!  Here we go...

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•  It's almost April and the weather is still pretty "BLAH" outside.  (Though, today was finally a pretty nice day out!)
• Missing my sisters and in-laws lately.
• Haven't been out on a date with the hubs (sans Presley) in months.  And I know that if we lived near my sisters, in-laws, or my cousin then we would have more opportunities to get out.  But honestly, this is life!  Even though it's a little crappy to miss out on regular date nights, I wouldn't say it's something I miss as much as I did in the beginning.
• This is a little on the silly side, but when I stepped on the scale after 24+ hours of the stomach virus, I weighed the exact same as before.  dangit
• The University of Memphis being out of the March Madness tournament already.
• A sink full of dirty dishes!  Yuck!  [Vent:  I hate being the one to do both the cooking AND cleaning in the kitchen!  If we had a dishwasher, it wouldn't be so bad.  And don't get me wrong... I absolutely enjoy cooking.  But not in a dirty kitchen and not when I know I'll be the one scrubbing dinner off the dishes a few days later after waiting for someone else who said they would do them!  Anybody else know the feeling?]

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• Not only does Tony have Good Friday off from work, but he's also going to be home with us on Monday after Easter!  Yippee for 4 day weekends!
• Won some super fun giveaways recently that I failed to blog about, for fear it would come off as bragging!  However, they deserve recognition and thanks for such fun giveaways.  Thank you to Erica at "To the Sea" and Lisa at "The Sweet Life of a Southern Wife" - two ladies I genuinely enjoy getting to learn about through their blogs that I love to read!  {Look out for a more detailed post on this later on.}
• Finding five boxes of Baby Mum-Mums for Presley about half off normal price!  Score!
• Very grateful for FaceTime with my in-laws!
• Spending time with family this weekend for Easter!
• FINALLY made it to the zoo for the first time this year.  It feels like forever since it was last open!

•  Presley's finally starting to (occasionally) cruise around furniture... so walking {might} be in our near-ish future.
• Presley being an awesome eater and sleeper!  Makes my life all the more blissful!
• The accomplished feeling you get after cleaning a sink jammed full of dirty dishes!
• Chick-fil-A sweet tea.  Enough. Said.
• Shopping at Target.  As if Target wasn't already fabulous enough, pretty frequently you can find their meat considerably marked down!  I love saving money!  And now we have a freezer full of meat for future use and I could not be more satisfied about that.

The discounted meat has these nice red $3 off coupons on them!

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I hope everybody has a wonderful Easter weekend - and may your happies far outweigh your crappies!

It's Date Night!

Or... well, talking about dates, anyway!  I decided to take part in Wedded Bliss Wednesday through Kay & Allie's blogs.  And today it's a couple questions about what it's like to date my husband!

How often do you and your husband have a date night?
Sheesh... since having Presley, they have really been sparse.  To be honest, our last date without the beeb was for our year anniversary in May.  The older she gets, the more she has become a mama's girl - it makes leaving her hard.  It's mostly my fault - I'd say - that we haven't been on a date for so long.  I just know that no one loves Presley quite as much as Tony and I do, and even knowing that kind of love, I feel frustrated and short-fused with her some days... so it makes me nervous to leave her with anybody else who isn't her family.  And my family is so busy!  Plus, I think we just get too comfortable in our routine to break out of it.  I think after a while, though, we will get back into the swing of things.  Since we have the nights to ourselves after she goes to bed, it's not so bad!

What did you do on your first date?
We went to Back Yard Burger for one of our first real dates.  It's was one of our favorite places to go for a burger & fries while we lived in Memphis.  Neither of us remember the details of the night very well - but I do remember that it was one of the first times when it was just Tony and I, alone.  Because he is 2.5 years older than me and we were so young when we met and started dating that my mom was worried about him corrupting me and stealing my virtue (right, Mom?) so we hung out with my sister and his friends a lot of the time to satisfy my mom.  Little did she know that Tony was the best person to be around... I didn't get myself into any real trouble until I was away from him and with other friends.

What is your favorite kind of date night?
Since I haven't been on a date in nearly five months, ANY date sounds wonderful.  We used to love going to see movies when we were younger - we'd go nearly every weekend - so I always think it's fun going to the movie theater with him since it brings back so many memories.  The drawback about going to see a movie is that it's like stepping into a time warp... you spend a few hours out but don't get to really spend any time talking or really being together.  So ideally, I'd say going out to dinner would be a favorite of mine.  

I also like going on crazy little adventures with Tony.  Flavor Flav opened a Fried Chicken place about an hour from where we live.  (We watched Flavor Flav when he had all those shows on VH-1 back in the day...)  We heard that Flav would be there on it's opening night and possibly through the first week it was open - so we hopped in the car a few days after it opened and thought maybe we'd get lucky and see him there.  It was January and it was dark and ABSOLUTELY freezing - and we stood in a line wrapped around outside the restaurant for at least an hour before we made it inside.  Well, Flav was in the building and he was meeting people after they ordered because the kitchen was pretty backed up.  After waiting another half hour or so, we met him and snapped a picture with him... it was completely random and hilarious.  Before we had Miss P, we were always just jumping in the car and going to do something spontaneous ~ we always have so much fun together.  I definitely miss that a little and can't wait to go on adventures with Presley, too!

The restaurant only lasted a few more weeks after this because it was being poorly run.  Flav came back to visit to see how it was going, and he found tons of expired food being served and he shut down the place.

This restaurant literally shared a parking lot with KFC... he built it right next door to them, purposely.

How do you do date night on a budget?
Plastic Jungle is one of my favorite websites when it comes to date nights on a budget - you can get discounted gift cards to so many places.  We like Living Social and Groupon as well - but unfortunately we live in a small area - so there aren't many opportunities there for us.  For those of you who live in the Quad Cities, we use the Deal of the Day through QC Online all the time and it has worked out great for us!  There are deals for all kinds of things here in the area from restaurants to swimming pools and all kinds of stuff.  And if you don't live in the Quad Cities, I'd look around for something similar in your area... the "Groupon" type of thing is really catching on in communities! 

My husband and I always love a good deal.  Our local Chick-Fil-A has a Spicy Night every Tuesday from 5-8pm ~ if you buy a Spicy Chicken Sandwich then you get the fries & drink free!  So on Tuesday's our dinner our is only $8.45!

What is the best kind of date your husband could surprise you with?

I'd say any kind of surprise, really!  I think it'd be so wonderful to go all out for a surprise date - get all dressed up, have my husband pick me up at the door with a bouquet of my favorite flowers, go out for dinner and drinks and maybe even dancing(!), and end the night in a romantic, relaxing, fancy-schmany hotel suite!  Sounds pretty ideal, huh?!  

Maybe I can talk Tony into filling this out, too, so we can hear his side of things!

26 week Pregnancy Reflection

How far along?:  I am 26 weeks & 3 days along in my first pregnancy!  (13 weeks & 4 days to go.)

6.5 months along!

Weight +/-:  Well, I went to my appointment today and found out I'm +26 lbs.  My doctor told me my weight gain so far has been "wonderful" and that I'm doing fine.  I'm currently having trouble with it because first, that is a lot of weight to gain since May.  And second, I went from gaining little to nothing to gaining a whole lot.  I made sure my doctor realized all this and she laughed and continued to reassure me.  So, really, I just need to remember to eat healthy and stay active to silence my worries!

Size of the baby:  This week the baby is the size of a CUCUMBER!

15 inches & 2.2 lbs!

Gender:  Still a girl as far as we know!  :)  One of the moms at work SWEARS I'm carrying a boy since my belly is a round basketball.

Movement:  Always moving!  I just got paperwork from my doctor that told me to start noticing  her movements.  She should be moving around 10+ times a day and if that doesn't happen, that should be a red flag.  I also found out today that the baby is laying in my belly from side to side which is cool because my doctor said that once the baby decides to move head or feet down that it will put more pressure on my lower body.  The less pressure, the better and as long as the baby is safe and sound I am happy!


Cravings/Aversions:  Goodness... craving lots and lots of SPICE!  My mom keeps saying that it's one of my dad's traits -- he loved spicy food.  The past few days I have eaten an entire big bag of clementines... they are so delicious and so sweet so I am thinking the sweetness craving is still lingering.  Aversions... definitely still not enjoying the sight, smell, or taste of shrimp.  Yuck! 

I am feeling:  Pretty good.  I have more energy throughout the day but at the same time, I am still pretty tired throughout the day.  I think that's because I get up so many times to pee in the middle of the night -- it's crazy!  I need to stop drinking fluid at night but I just love drinking water before bedtime.

Best moment of the week:  Getting back to the gym a couple times this past week felt really good.  I also had a really fun time this past week on a date with Tony at Cracker Barrel -- YUM!  And last night was a ton of fun, our church had a chili cook off and pie bake off.  I participated in the chili cook off by bringing a batch of chili and participated in the pie bake off by eating some delicious pie! ;)  There was a great turn out and we all had SO much fun... such a great way to get people together.  I can't wait for the next one!!!

Made about 6 qts. of chili and didn't have any leftovers!

What I'm most looking forward to this week:  First of all, I am looking forward to seeing BREAKING DAWN tomorrow.... finally!!!!  Also can't wait for Thanksgiving on Thursday!  Also excited to spend a long weekend with Tony... yay!!!  So much to look forward to this week.


Alright, I am not feeling very motivated to write anything on here... I feel like I am running out of things to really talk about and have no idea what the people who read this really want to hear in addition to what they're sick of hearing about!  So for now, I am going to take a nice, relaxing, warm shower and enjoy the rest of the evening before bedtime!!!  Goodnight bloggies.

New Day!

Feeling fresh from just leaving the shower being back in the United States after our trip to Mexico, I am sitting at the computer desk with nothing but the shiny sun beaming into the room.  I really feel like today is a new day! I'm not sure what this new sense of being refreshed really that means yet, but I am sure it'll hit me later.

Tony and I are heading to church in a bit - the first mass we'll spend together since our wedding in May.  It is much needed and I am looking forward to it VERY much.  Afterwards we're going out to eat to one of our favorite restaurants and then watching a movie at the cheap theater.  This is easily my ideal date combination. 

I haven't written in a while and I hope to get back into it now that the summer semester is winding down.  I didn't plan on going back to school in the fall but it is looking like that is exactly what I'll need to do.  But it's so easy for me to get stuck on my plans and forget that God is the one who is planning my life; He's the one who's in the driver seat.  So I am really remembering what it's like to sit back, relax, and have a little faith. 

I'll write again soon!  Happy summer....