Beliefs.

Today's point of praise: "For the kingdom of God depends not on talk but on power." (1 Cor. 4:20) Day #11

I've been so intimidated on this topic, so I've just been putting it off. I even have a half-finished blog post from about a year ago on the exact topic. The hardest part of it for the longest time was grappling at what did I believe?

I had stepped away from the church in the last few years for several reasons that I'd love to delve into at some point - but probably not this post. One of the surface-level reasons was because going to church with little kids made me stressed and anxious. I felt like if my kids were being noisy and disruptive then I would be taking away from the people near me at mass. I didn't want to catch any grief from anyone else. And like I indicated before, for a few other reasons we just became a family who didn't go to church. I'm a cradle Catholic -- meaning I was born into it -- and I can't remember a time in my childhood when we didn't go to mass every Sunday. It really started to upset me that I wasn't instilling the same in my kids and making the same traditions in my family.

Another surface-level reason? We loved our church community in Illinois so much that when it came time to pick a new church here in Memphis... well let's just say I was beyond picky. The first two churches we visited didn't feel right and to be fair it was more me than them. After trying those few churches, I gave up. Thankfully my oldest daughter, Presley, really started asking if we could start going to church together. At the same time my big sister had been talking to me about getting our kids involved in PRE (Parish Religious Education aka Sunday school) so that they would be on track to make their first communion in 2nd grade. (Presley's questions about God and her desire to go to church increased tenfold when she started PRE this year. Again, thank God!) So my sister and I looked up mass times and PRE times and distances from our houses to various churches to try to find THE ONE church that would be the best fit and thankfully, we kinda did. Funnily enough one of the priests we grew up with at our childhood parish was now the pastor at the church that fit all our criteria... it just seemed like serendipity... which was probably God's hand. When it came time to sign the kids up for PRE we were so broke that it was easier to volunteer to teach every Sunday at church to have the fees waived for my kids.

All this long narrative to say: slowly but surely I dipped my toes back into the Church which became dipping my toes back into the faith. I feel grateful that our God is one that waits and prays that we come back. One that rejoices each time we open our hearts to Him and live for Him. Praise God for that. For His patience and relentlessness. For God not giving up on us. He worked through my bank account and my sister and my daughter and our childhood pastor and countless other ways to wake me back up. And he did it relatively slowly because this dude knows I am slow to wake up. Just ask my sisters. Waking me up for school every day was such a chore. God knows. 😄

It's super cool that one of the bible verses mentioned in today's devotional was the subject of Father Ernie's homily at church last Sunday:

Then he said to Thomas, 'Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.' Thomas answered, and said to him, 'My Lord and my God!' Jesus said to him, 'Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.'                                                                    John 20:27-29 

Father Ernie said it best when he said we all have doubt from time to time like Thomas. It sure made me feel better for having doubts over the years in various ways. But he said don't let it keep you down. Don't lose your faith because of the doubts. We're not all as fortunate as Thomas was to be able to put our hands on Jesus' hands. We are the blessed who believe and yet have not yet seen.

Also fitting from the devotional today was this quote from Kim Boyce: "As parents, we must be convinced of our beliefs. We must know where we stand, so that our children will know where they stand." Hopefully my kids won't be able to remember a time when we didn't go to mass together every weekend. If our beliefs shape our values and our values shape our lives - am I living in a way that speaks that? Am I doing God's work for others in my life? That's the dream. Living what I believe so that my actions speak for me and ultimately give glory to God.

What God asks of us is both simpler and more profound than adherence to a system of beliefs or following a set of rules. He asks us to walk with him through the blood and guts of our real experience in an honest pilgrimage where we let him show us what real strength, and real love, are all about.                                                                      Paula Rinehart 

I'll be praying for you this week, bloggies, that you can find a way to embrace the things you believe in more fully. That God can do the work on your heart that you might be putting off. If you have any prayer intentions for me please feel free to leave them in the comments below or get ahold of me some other way and I'll be happy to add those into my prayer journal as well. PEACE.

The Balancing Act.

So I have this great devotional for women "100 Days of Praise" and towards the end of 2011 (yep... over 6 years ago) I started reading and blogging along each day. And even though I've had over 2,000 days to complete the 100 days of praise... I only blogged about 9 of them. NINE! Yikes. So here we go in a new year and my goal is to pick this book up and give it my focus and attention. It's so much easier to feel positive when you take a moment to give thanks for the good things in your life. My life is more fulfilling when I include God in it and make time for Him. And I'd like to thank a recent conversation with a lifelong friend of mine who pointed out that it's silly as heck to let my issues with a certain subset of Christians get in the middle of my relationship with Christ. So while I'm not entirely sure where I stand with organized religion and I'm on very shaky ground in my spiritual life... I am looking to repair much of that. Baby steps.

Today's point of praise: "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matthew 11: 28-30) Day #10

Life is not a cake walk. It's a balancing act. It's about balancing responsibilities with fun. About balancing rest with work. Balancing who I am as a mother with who I am as an individual outside of that role. Trying to find balance in the amount of money coming in with what we spend every month. It's about balancing all kinds of things. On one side of the spectrum is over-commitment and the other there is under-commitment. When we give in to fear we often attempt too little in life and when we let our pride take over we attempt too much. When we attempt too much we stay busy and sometimes so busy that we bite off more than we can actually chew. It's an overwhelming pace. When we attempt too little we often regret the opportunities and moments we missed out on which can cause sorrow or guilt.

"To do too much is as dangerous as to do nothing at all. Both modes prevents us from savoring our moments. One causes me to rush right past the best of life without recognizing or basking in it, and the other finds me sitting quietly while life rushes past me."  

Patsy Clairmont

In my life I often let fear into my heart and head and it often takes a front seat with full reign over my life. There is fear of rejection. Fear of germs. Fear of injury. Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown. Fear of judgment. And when we let our fear take over we lose. We lose the ability to try or to even just put ourselves out there. We take away our own potential happiness. Because of those fears we often don't even attempt the things we want for ourselves. And the same goes for those of us who err in the other direction. When we fail to listen to the messages God is sending for us we may be missing out on the balance we need. And we miss out on living our best, most rewarding life.

It's easy to get comfortable and complacent in our daily lives. The uncomfortable is more difficult, more complicated, and often requires personal growth - which is often accompanied with growing pains. Who wants to willingly welcome pain? Who wants to let the messiness of being our most authentic selves in?

What sounds better - an easy day or a difficult day? Kind of a no-brainer. Easy wins just about every time!

Now think about your most rewarding days... were they easy days or difficult days? Did that super important day require work to get you where you ended up? Were all the "growing pains" worth it? Absolutely.

When we include God in our everyday journey - through prayer/reflection - and when we trust in Him we have a better understanding of what contentment and balance looks like in our own life.

Lord, let your priorities be my priorities.

God's Promises.

Today's point of praise: "This is my comfort in my affliction, that your word has revived me." (Psalm 119:50) Day #9

Let's talk about marriage for a second. How many times have been distraught in a tough situation until our spouse offered us their words of comfort and encouragement? Where would we be without mutual communication in our marriages? It would really suck.

This is what I thought about today after reading my devotional: communication. We are able to communicate with God through prayer and he is able to indirectly communicate back to us through his promises in the Bible. If we aren't praying or reading the bible then our communication with God is hurting, as I'm sure we've all experienced at some point. And when we read the bible, we read it through our own individual lens - our experiences give the words personal meaning and weight. And who gives us those experiences? God - through his plan for us. I think that is awesome.

My sister, Amanda, and I always talk about how hard mornings are in our houses full of little ones. It seems like no matter what time I wake up in the morning, there hasn't been enough sleep. Amanda and I both wait until the kids are awake in the morning to get up and out of bed ... which is probably a big mistake. We've both talked about how we probably should start to get up a bit before they do in order to have actually warm coffee and time to ourselves for reflection. It sounds like such a great idea until just after putting the kids to bed. I bask in the kid-free evenings and often stay up late watching Grey's Anatomy reruns on Netflix. (I'm a night owl.) If you watch the Bachelor on ABC, you might remember the best bachelor ever - Shawn - and his adorable family, which includes his sister, Shay. I love her blog! She wrote on this topic once and her early morning routine has always sounded so peaceful to me. (Here is an example of why I love the idea of her morning routine.) I'd love to wake up and start the day with coffee and some motivation and blessed encouragement. The mornings that I do start the day thanking God - regardless of what time I get up - really does set my mind in a more positive direction.

To go back to talking about marriage again, it always makes my morning SO MUCH better when I wake up to a good morning text from Tony - and the best when I get to wake up and have a conversation with him. It'd be a nice feeling to do the same (but not exactly) with Christ - to wake up and reflect on his word.

"We have ample evidence that the Lord is able to guide. The promises cover every imaginable situation. All we need to do is to take the hand he stretches out." Elizabeth Elliot

Just Ask.

Today's Point of Praise: "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened..." (Matthew 7:7-8) Day #8


This verse will always, always be one of my favorite verses in the bible.  Several years ago (just realized it was 6+ years ago...) I was writing a talk for TEC on the topic of Peace.  I was spending time in prayer reading my bible to make sure I was not only speaking what was on my heart but also incorporating God's word into it as much as possible.  I was writing about how public speaking was NOT a strength of mine and how this talk was in front of the largest crowd I'd ever spoken in front of... when approached to do the talk I had only a few days notice.  My first reaction was to completely reject the idea.  Something felt right about giving a talk on this topic at that point in my life and instead of running I just remembering asking God for guidance and courage.  And I seriously felt peace instead of terror throughout the writing process and oddly enough, while giving the talk itself I felt an insane, amazing amount of peace.  I remember flipping through my bible looking for the "ask and you shall receive" verse - having NO idea which part of the bible it was in.  I joking said out loud, "Okay God... I'm asking for the bible verse..." and less than a minute later it was staring back at me from my bible.  No help from Google.  I was seriously stunned and I know that's not the way prayer works but it was literally crazy how that moment unfolded.

When I think back to where I was in my faith life six years ago, I can't help but be super envious of my former self. I put in the work back then and I really reaped the benefits.  Now?  I can't remember the last time I felt close to God.  I pray from time to time, but I have been so confused as to how I feel and where I stand when it comes to organized religion.  There are so many things about the Catholic faith that I absolutely love and revere... and others -- like social issues -- that I fear I differ TOO much from the Church.  How could I be a part of the Church and feel so incredibly different than what is preached?  How do I know what makes me a Catholic and at what point do I stop fitting the mold?  When do I start looking for a religion that does fit my social views into my faith?

This is where I currently am and it's hard to know how to proceed.  The things I do know is this -- I very much yearn to be part of a church community again.  I've always wanted my kids to grow up going to church and that hasn't changed.  I still believe in the same God, in Jesus Christ, and I feel very aligned with the majority of what the Catholic Church teaches.

So, what I take away from today:

"When will we realize that we're not troubling God with our questions and concerns? His heart is open to hear us -- his touch nearer than our next thought -- as if no one in the world existed but us. Our very personal God wants to hear from us personally." Gigi Garham Tchividjan 

I'm not going to get where I want to be without including Christ. I know this. But now I have to do something about it.

Praise & Thanks.

Today's Point of Praise: "We give thanks to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you." (Colossians 1:3) Day #7

The theme for today is thanksgiving.  When I originally read this entry in October, I responded by writing down some of the things that I am grateful for - some of the things are simple... superficial even.  Other things are deeper.  All are meaningful to me.  Some are things I often take for granted.  A few things can almost be read as mantras... things I repeat to myself in order to let the reality of them sink in.

I reread the entry again today and it struck me as funny how the things I'm thankful for are more often than not the topic of my conversation - and not always in the most positive light.

I have great people in my support system. vs. "Why does everybody have to live so far away?"
My husband & kids are alive & healthy. vs. "I never have time for myself."
I have a beautiful house. vs. "This house is always such a mess!"
I have a car that runs with no problems. vs. "Why is this car always such a mess?"
I have a family who loves me, despite my imperfections. vs. "Why am I always such a mess..."
I am loved & appreciated. vs. "This one person said one bad thing about me and now I'm just gonna focus on that for the next eight days straight..."
I have money to buy food. vs. "Grocery shopping with kids SUCKS."
My husband provides for us. vs. "You spend more time at work than you do your own house!"

It actually reminds me of the old happies & crappies post I used to take part in every week.  Anyways, the line in the devotional that made me think to reflect on what is truly in my heart at the end of the day versus what I mindlessly complain about was this, "But when we fail to count our blessings, we rob ourselves of the happiness, the peace, and the gratitude that should rightfully be ours."

It's the truth, too.  Think & speak the positive and you end up living more positively.

"The game was to just find something about everything to be glad about -- no matter what it was.  You see, when you're hunting for the glad things, you sort of forget the other kind."  Eleanor H. Porter

"Thanksgiving or complaining -- these words express two contrastive attitudes of the soul of God's children in regard to His dealing with them.  The soul that gives thanks can find comfort in everything; the soul that complains can find comfort in nothing."  Hannah Whitall Smith

When I go dark, I feel like everything is dark.  When we have an exceptionally bad series of events, how quickly do we turn that into having a bad day/week/month/year/etc?  We can't expect to constantly live in the light and there is no sense in beating ourselves up over our lack of gratitude at times... but we do need to hold ourselves responsible for the way we carry ourselves.  The way we approach situations.  The lessons we take away from all things.  And certainly the way we treat ourselves and the rest of the people we love.

Essentially...

Thanksgiving in my heart.
Praise on my lips.

Praise You in the Storm.

Today's point of praise: "We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed." (2 Corinthians 4:8-9) Day #6

This message - adversity - was well placed in my life again... something  that I am very thankful for today. 

Reading the passage in my devotional solidified my feelings that things happen for a reason - both good and bad things. It's easy to comprehend why great moments take place in our life and to see how we deserve all of our blessings.  Though at times we may feel undeserving of our fortunes, it is usually not a topic we complain about.   It is more difficult, however, to see why the worse moments of our life happen the way they do.  We ask God in those awful moments - why? What did I do to deserve this?  How could you allow this to happen in my life?

Eventually, I just realize there is no way God can interject in our lives to keep bad things from happening to us.  Sometimes He does work in our hearts and the hearts of others in order to keep bad things from happening, but when we stray away from Him, how can He help us then?  And maybe that is why the hurt ends up happening... So that we join Him once again once we hit the bottom. 

"Every misfortune, every failure, every loss may be transformed. God has the power to transform all misfortunes into 'God-sends.'" -Mrs. Charles E.Cowman

I haven't had a relationship with God in a very long time.  I'm not using ANY one or thing as an excuse - but I will explain my thoughts on the topic.  I remember during my pregnancy with Presley in 2011, Tony and I were newlyweds and went to mass together often. (That is, after all, the first place I felt Presley kicking!) I also remember the standing, sitting, kneeling made me feel lightheaded and like I couldn't get a deep breath ever.  So I stopped urging that we go to church.  And then we had Presley and it felt so nice to go to church as a family!  I felt so supported and loved by our church community each time we were there together.  A pinicle of those early months as a new family of three was Presley's beautiful baptism.  After that?  It got difficult to attend regularly.  It was easy to find a routine that left out mass for more downtime as a family, especially when Tony was working so many hours. (This is my current rationalization as well.) In reality?  Mass is one hour a week.  Not only that, but I feel better after being there and I don't remember a time I ever left mass thinking, "man. I really regret spending the last hour here rather than [insert place here]."

Another thing keeping me from church?  Wondering if my social views align with the Catholic Church anymore. And if I find that they don't, where does that leave me?  Am I accepted in the Church anymore?  In which case, we would need to search out new churches and much uncharted territory for me. 

Best way to get started:  head to church. If it doesn't feel right, I think I will figure that out sooner or later.  And then we will cross that bridge as we get to it. 

I promise I am saying all of this to eventually make a point.  As I said yesterday, sometimes bad shit happens. We can't keep it from happening.  Sometimes the life we envision for ourself seems to fall apart.  And that sucks.  But once you can grab ahold and take a step back, the perspective will show you that it has somehow managed to bring something beautiful back into your life.  In my case, it has reignited my desire to strengthen my faith life for myself and to share it with my family.  I'm absolutely not to the point in my life where I can say absolutely, "thank you so much for giving me these things that hurt me so that they can bring me closer to you" ...I'm just not there yet nor am I sure that I will ever be. 

But where I am on my journey?  I can see my God-friends being such amazing influences for me and leading me down paths of healing and redemption.  I can see it was God helping lead me to the right comfort in times of trouble and I can see that it is God lending them the words to guide.  I'm so sad about things that have happened in my life recently that are out of my control, but it helps to stop and praise Him in the storm for the abundance bestowed on me in other areas. I know we all bear hardships and they really do suck the life right out of you.  And I hope that after reading this, you can do the same - think of & call on your blessings - when the bad times come around. 

"Gods faithfulness and grace make the impossible possible." -Shelia Walsh

Praising God for His Peace.

Today's point of praise: "But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For He Himself is our peace, who made both groups into one and broke down the barrier of the dividing wall."  (Ephesians 2: 13-14) Day #5

Exactly three years ago today I started a daily devotional titled "100 Days of Praise for Women" and intended on blogging throughout.  Well, unfortunately, I didn't stick with it.  So I'm back to pick up where I left off and the topic at hand couldn't be more perfect to hear at this moment.

It's hard to feel peace in the midst of any chaos - especially when there is chaos inside yourself or in your personal life.  What do I mean by that?  Well, when the people we love hurt us (intentionally or unintentionally) it can be some of the worst pain imaginable.  So much so that you can get so wrapped up in the chaos that it just feels like the world is crashing down on you.  In those times you usually don't stop to seek peace.  Usually when your hurting you do what feels good - venting, lashing out your anger/frustration/hurts, etc.  And I can say I am guilty as charged!

We - ourselves - are not perfect people yet for some odd reason we often expect exactly that of others.  When they fail, we can take that personally, especially if it affects us.  It's hard to step back from a situation in which you feel no peace at all and accept the shortcomings of the people we love for what they are: mistakes, weakness, flaws, etc.  In that situation it can be easy to chastise.  But ultimately, God calls us to forgive and to remember the goodness in each other.  To find peace within ourselves (through Him) and to share it with everyone.

Corrie ten Boom said - "In the center of a hurricane there is absolute quiet and peace.  There is no safer place than in the center of the will of God."

So. Absolutely. True.

Sometimes certain things will fall apart so that different things can fall into place.  It's not apparent why this has to happen this way, it just does.  And I am finding this to be true in my life at the moment.  Usually what falls apart is YOUR plans so that GOD'S plans for your life can come together.

I'm at a turning point in my life.  I am no longer a child nor do I find any happiness behaving like one or associating myself with those who prove time and time again that immaturity does not go away with age or becoming a parent or settling down and getting married.  I just want more for my life and better for my family and I don't want outside influences to negatively affect my life.

For the type of people who find joy in anyone else's pain - please take this moment to fully remove yourself from my life.  I can promise you whether or not you remove yourself, there isn't a place for someone like you anymore.


It might sound like I am not in a place of peace currently, and you may be right.  But I assure you, I am taking steps to get there for myself, for my marriage, and for my family.  I am not perfect and I know things like resentment and anger will continue in my life but I would much rather like to live in the light than the dark.  I've been putting off making these changes in my life and I just can't do that any longer.  I want to be someone who focuses on the good - who is an encourager rather than a critic.  And I really don't want to fill my team with people who drag me or the people I love most down because it defeats the purpose of having a team.

"Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work.  Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart."  Catherine Marshall

So yeah. I'm working on that. 

Praising through humility.

Today's point of praise: "By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and observe his commandments." (1 John 5:2)  Day #4

Lord, create in me a servant's heart.

This topic is so important for me to visit these days.  It's not only important to do what's right and to help your friends, families, neighbors, and strangers, but it's just as important to do so with a humble heart.  We build this up to where we think in order to be a good person we have to be a superhero and practically move mountains, so we say in our heads that we'll start doing work for God "tomorrow" and then tomorrow never comes.  But really, encouraging a friend, having a caring listening ear, holding the door for someone, not having road rage when someone cuts you off, loving your family, and seemingly "small" things typically have a lasting impact.  The impact is not only on the person you are serving, but most often yourself.  However, in order to have a lasting impact on yourself, it's important for Christians to remember to give God the glory rather than ourselves.


There really is no cure for that awful mood/funk most of us are in at the beginning of the week - also known as "the Mondays."  And sometimes, really, we just wake up in a bad mood on any given day and it is what it is!  But if you do something positive for someone else it often lifts your own mood and leaves you feeling good about yourself.  So maybe being a humble servant isn't the cure for "the Mondays" ...but it could be the cure for any other day.

There is a phrase that has stuck in my head -- Either you can lift yourself up here on earth and be humbled in heaven, or vice versa.  When you wake up in the morning, choose vice versa.

Day #3: Christ's Love
Day #2: Abundance
Day #1: Everyday Life

Praising Christ's Love...

Today's point of praise:  "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  (Romans 8: 38-39)  Day #3

Sometimes that doesn't necessarily feel true for me.  There are so many times when I don't feel close to Christ and I know it isn't because he has moved away from me - but the other way around.  It's difficult to live a Christ-centered life when the biggest influences in my current life aren't focused on him and don't lead me closer to Him.  Again, not His fault, but mine.  I realize that the point of praise here is that no matter how far I stray or how weak my relationship with God is, He's gonna love me and be there for me anyways.  Instead of just blaming myself and feeling guilty over my lack of daily dedication to Christ, I've decided to come up with a list of ways to strengthen that relationship.  The list may seem like I move in a round-a-bout way... but hopefully that is good enough to lead me in the direction I'd like to head...

1. Start eating dinner at the dinner table.  Seems pretty silly, but for those of you who know Tony & I, we are the type of people who have a million movies and a bunch of favorite TV shows.  We also have a very nice set of TV trays from Granny that get TOO much use these days.  As a result, I honestly don't remember the last time we ate a meal at the dinner table together.  (I honestly think it was at least an entire year ago at a date night in at our old apartment.)  Once we start eating at the dinner table together, the goal is to start praying before meals together.  Also, for some reason, I just think the more structure we get in our home life, the better, and for some reason I think it'll make things better around here.  (Just bought some fancy new chair covers that will hopefully motivate us to use our table & chairs!  Something happened to the upholstery on these old chairs and they're very sticky, so we either had to get covers or new chairs.  I'll take before and after pictures once they come in!!!)
2. Make weekly mass a priority.  We've started to get better about this, but I don't feel like it's as much of a priority as I'd like it to be.  We're very much Saturday afternoon mass-goers or else we don't make it to mass for the weekend and that is one thing that needs to change.  I'd still like to shoot for Saturday mass because we do enjoy it so much - but if for some reason we don't make it I need to keep an open mind and make it to church Sunday.  There are so many churches in the area that offer a wide variety of mass times so there is really not much of an excuse in that department.
3. Find a way to take part at church.  This really scares me because I don't really like making commitments all the time - the really make me feel claustrophobic.  Not to mention, most of the ways to help out at church involve getting up in front of people which paralyzes me in fear!!!  I'm not sure where our church needs involvement and in what ways I can help but I've been wanting to take part somehow and now is a good time to change that.  I would love to find a way for Tony and I to both get involved together, as well.
4. Speaking of getting involved in a Christ-centered relationship as a couple, I'd like to start reading a couples devotional with Tony, as well.  Since we don't wake up together, I figure it's something we can take turns reading at night and talk about how we can apply it to our lives the next day?  Another way of getting the ball rolling between Tony and I is by going over the order of the mass with him and helping him learn the prayers that we say every week.  He reads them out of the book at mass when we go, but there's just something about praying from your memory that ignites your heart and head into it as well (or at least it is that way for me).

And that's the ideas I have for now.   I don't want to limit myself to this list, however, so I'm open and looking for any and all suggestions.  Any ideas out there you'd care to share with me?  Like I said before, my relationship with Christ is something I need to start taking ownership of myself and it's not a fad or a phase I'm looking forward to "going through" - it's a change of lifestyle that I'm looking to maintain forever.  I think a lot about bringing someone new into our family and into this world and God is something that I want to be present for my baby.  I want to give her the opportunities I had growing up and I want to go to church as a family as well as educate her along the way so that when she gets old enough, she can make an educated decision on whether or not Catholicism is for her.  I already think about getting her baptized and what that will mean for Tony and I as well as for our little girl and I can't help but get giddy about envisioning the moment with family and friends around. 

I still remember what it was like when I got to witness Tony getting baptized.  It was such a wonderful experience & a beautiful mass; it brought tears to my eyes and really caused me to think about the implications of his decision and made me so proud of him.  It was equally wonderful to be his sponsor through it all and sit with him along his entire journey.  If we could do R.C.I.A. (aka, the Right of Christian Initiation of Adults) all over again, I would love that.  I learned so much and I feel like meeting weekly and focusing on Christ in discussion with others every week not only strengthened my faith but Tony & I's relationship as well.  I really am so lucky to have gone through that with him.

Anyways, I am totally babbling and have so many things I need to get accomplished rather than reflecting on all these wonderful things.  Thanks for reading (if you made it this far!) and I'd love to hear your ideas on how to live a more Christ-centered life, bloggies.

There is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still.  

       Corrie ten Boom

Praising abundance...

Today's point of praise:  "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;  I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."  (John 10:10)  Day #2

When I read this I really had to think hard about what that verse meant to me and for me.  I know I've felt so abundantly blessed recently - but I am especially feeling that so much today.  As most of you already know, I work with kids everyday in a daycare-type setting.  I work at the YMCA in the Kids Gym, so I get to hang out with kiddos while their parents work out... pretty much a fabulous opportunity to get to know some amazing kids and their fabulous parents.  I have been abundantly blessed by these people;  my life very much enriched by knowing them.  Today was just another great day because a family that I feel particularly close to came in after not seeing them for a while and it put me in the best mood.  On top of it, their mom brought me the winter jacket she wore when she was pregnant in the winter time.  It's beautiful and warm and big enough and is in such good condition.  That means one less thing for me to worry about purchasing before the weather starts changing.  And it means a lot to me that she thought of me for something so wonderful! 

In addition to that, a friend of a friend contacted me a little while ago and asked if I could use a pack & play as well as a high chair - both in great condition and practically brand new!  I was over the moon that she was so thoughtful and even thought of me and of course I said I'd love them!  It just so happens that I picked those items up today in addition to some other baby items.  I'm always worried about having enough money, enough room, enough support, etc. to bring a baby into this world and it seems that God and the kindness of others are slowly putting my worries up on a shelf!  I've also been learning that it's no accident that a baby has come into our lives at this time;  time and time again God's totally causing me to step back and realize that it's all gonna work out even if it's not perfect and that it's OKAY if things aren't perfect!  I just stopped today mid-afternoon and thought, "Dang... I am so blessed."  So to be asked to praise God for his abundance seems like it's no coincidence.  (I'll post pictures of my new stuff soon!)

In other news, I went to Target to look at their maternity clothes the other night (um... expensive!) and after I decided that I was not getting anything, I wandered over to the food department to get some late snacks.  I'd been hearing from a friend who's been trying to watch what she eats that pickles were a good snack to have and as a result I've really been wanting some pickles!  So I picked up a jar of those and walked past the ice cream section.  Without immediately realizing the "pickles and ice cream" pregnancy cliche, I picked out some cookie dough ice cream and headed to check out.  On the way up front I thought how funny it must look for me to be carrying these two things together.  I ended up bumping into a friend in the check out lane and she was like, "Really? Pickles and ice cream?!"  :)  Hilarious!  I love having an excuse to eat ridiculous things!  I promise, I did not eat them in the same bowl... but I did eat them right after the other and it was delicious.

Other than those few things, it's been business as usual in the Duggan household.  Everybody keeps telling me my belly is getting bigger and that is for sure!  It seems like overnight my stomach has really started popping out.  I took a picture at twenty weeks but I can't find the camera cord... so here is a picture from the other night before we headed out to dinner ...

20 weeks & 3 days!

Hopefully I'll get a better picture Friday and potentially have more interesting things to write about!  Until then, have a great week, bloggies! :)

Praising everyday life...

Today's point of praise: Is any among you suffering? Let him pray. Is any cheerful? Let him sing praise. (James 5:13) Day #1

I'm starting to actively participate in a devotional for women that focuses on giving glory and praise to God.  So often I come to the Lord in times of need or out of selfishness and not often enough do I pray humbly in thanksgiving to all that God has given me.  I often think of the quote that goes something like this - what would you have tomorrow if you only received the things you thanked God for the day before?  When I read that and reflect on my prayers the day before, I mostly feel ashamed because 9 times out of 10 I didn't pray at all the day before.

So, today, I find myself especially thankful for the power of words.  I am thankful for the joy that others bring me on a daily basis; especially my sisters, friends, and the rest of my family.  I am thankful that my will and God's will are different and His will always brings me to where I grow the most.  I am very thankful for the clean water I drink every day and my pantry stocked full of food to eat; we never have to worry about going a day without either.  I'm thankful for the beautiful weather as well as my good health - both allowing me to get outside this afternoon and enjoy the day.  And lastly, I am thankful for new opportunities.

And now, onto daily life...

• About a week or so ago I ordered a pregnancy pillow from Amazon.com after I decided to trade-in and sell old textbooks that were just taking up space.  After making a decent amount of change, I decided to reward myself with a gigantic pregnancy pillow!  I was skeptical of how much I'd like it, but definitely wanted to try something as I haven't been sleeping that well up until now (it was either trying out a new pillow or trying out Unisom).  And after using it for the past few nights, I am happy to report that it was DEFINITELY a good buy!!! Once I am ready to lay down and sleep it doesn't take me long at all before I am comfortable enough to just slip away.  It was definitely expensive, but has been worth it.

Takes up a good portion of the bed!

• After being bummed out about our shy baby not wanting to expose whether or not we're dealing with a he or she, we are now faced with a tough decision.  So far, our three options are:  1: Choose to be surprised until he or she arrives... 2: Wait and see if another ultrasound is ordered by our OBGYN from now until then... or 3: Pay out of pocket to go to somewhere to find out!  Wait and see what we decide!  :)
• We're still getting settled in the new house.  Things are still in boxes - mostly because we are lazy, not because it's been too difficult to unpack - but most everything is out and in it's proper place.  My favorite thing about the house is the huge pantry/storage closet off of the hallway.  We're able to fit SO much in there and I absolutely love it.  It's taken a lot of stress out of the "Oh my word, where are we going to fit everything?" worries.

 Best room in the house :)

•   I've definitely been thinking about the time Tony & I spend together these days.  I wonder what it will be like once we bring someone else into our family and wonder in what ways it will effect our marriage.  Last night was a lot of fun - we decided to play Little Big Planet together for a while - which doesn't happen often.  It's such a goofy game that it's impossible not to laugh most of the time and it was a lot of fun to do that. :)  As a result of staying up and hanging out with me, though, he's so tired in the afternoon after he gets off work.

 Sleepy Tony :)

Enough rambling!  I'm praying for good, awesome, big, surprising things to happen for everybody tomorrow because Fridays should always be awesome and exceed expectations! :)  Later, bloggies...