Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Too Much.

I can't count the number of times recently where I felt like I just didn't quite belong. I walk away from an interaction with someone else thinking - what it is about me that people either just don't get or don't like? Was I not being friendly enough? Do I seem uncaring, unapproachable, unwelcoming? Am I just too boring? Or was I just being TOO much? Overly familiar? Too sensitive? Too loud? Too quiet?

Does anyone else feel like that? And when did that start? Because my girls are so unapologetically themselves. They seem so comfortable in their skin. And thank God for the many people around them allow them that space to be who they are. I look at them and hope that they never become smaller to fit inside any box someone else tries to place them in. I hope they aren't made to feel like they need to be any different than who they are right now.

In the end, I mostly chalk my hurt feelings up to being a product of my own (many) insecurities. It's taking me a little while to realize that it's okay to not always be liked. People are either going to like me or not and what someone else ultimately decides about me is out of my control. I'm not going to be everybody's cup of tea. "You are not for everyone....


...and that's okay. Talk to the people who can hear you." The words above from Rebecca Campbell are absolute poetry in those moments where you feel rejected and need reminding that what you offer isn't going to be appreciated or accepted by every person you meet.

And incase you need the extra reminder from Glennon just as much as I do: "You. Are. Not. TOO. Anything. Just show up." Be you. FOR YOU. Not for anyone else. Love people and love yourself. Let people love you. And if the people you love don't love you back, then it's time for you to move on. Stop trying to make yourself fit into a box that is not shaped for you.