Falling in {Young} Love

Seventeen years ago this week, I was falling in love.  And I was thirteen.  People would tell me I was young and naive, that it wasn't really love, and more... and to be honest, I started to believe them.  Not that what I was feeling wasn't genuine - because I never doubted that - but that maybe with time and age I would realize that it was more infatuation than actual love.  That maybe it felt more intense because I had never experienced it before. 

It was the weekend before Martin Luther King Day and my sister, Amanda - who was fifteen at the time, and I went on a ski trip with a church in our neighborhood.  I'm not sure how many of us there were, but there were at least twenty of us in middle school and high school going on the ski trip - both guys and girls.  My best friend, Christine, was going too and I was super excited to have a fun weekend away with her.  Peyton & Damen were going and that meant Tony was going, too.  (Because back in those days they went just about everywhere together.)  There were two vans to take the group of us from Memphis to Gatlinburg... my sister went into one with a bunch of the kids her age and I went into the other with my friends.  Tony hadn't decided which one he was riding in and I was just PRAYING he would hop into mine.  I remember one of the older girls telling Tony he should get in their van and I just remember feeling crushed.  I don't know what exactly made him decide to get into the van I was in... but for WHATEVER reason we ended up in the same van I am so extremely thankful!  It was on that trip in that moment that we got to know each other a little more, we became better friends, and made some fun memories.  It was on that trip that I truly started falling in love with Tony.  And what took place over that long weekend are things I'll never forget.

I think about one particular moment often - what if he would've chosen the other van?  Would he have made those memories with someone else?  And where would we be now?  This story could've been one between him and someone else.

So, I thank God for Martin Luther King and everything he did to advance the lives of all humankind.  The sacrifices he made and the extremely difficult, intensely beautiful journey he took.  While that will always be the focus of the day for me, I can't help but remember how the long weekend holds a secret, special place in my heart and how it always will.  And thank God for falling in young love.

Ten Things That Make You Happy {thursday thoughts}

We've all made lists like these before and often put things down like music, movies, family, friends... and we're absolutely right to do so but it can get a little vague. So this time, I'll try to be as specific as possible with this list of happy things.

10. Walking hand-in-hand with my husband. It's one of the very simple joys I take for granted so often, or rather, don't take advantage of enough. (Though, to be fair, we're usually holding little hands - or little bodies - instead these days.)

09. Loading/unloading the dishwasher. Which seems like an odd thing to put here but man, it feels good to have a clean and empty sink. It also feels great not having to hand wash all our dishes. It feels super duper great to have a beautiful dishwasher.

08. The HILARIOUS things that come out of my children's mouthes. We went to a local firework show a few nights ago and Presley (my four-year-old) tells me, "Wow! Looks like it's raining corn!" Same child, different day: We have been practicing with her to wipe by herself when using the restroom in preparation for pre-k this Fall.  I told Presley she could wipe by herself and she told me, "I want you to wipe my booty because you're smart and cute." Hilarious!
And today Molly was climbing something she shouldn't be which prompted this conversation:

Me: Molly. Don't climb that.
Molly: Why?
Me: .... (gathering my thoughts/patience on exactly why she shouldn't...)
Molly *under her breath*: Because! I-said-so!


07. Pulling out the box of old notes, cards, and letters from Tony over the last 15+ years. I don't do it very often but whenever I do, it seems like I happen to read something that feels as if it was just recently written... or I read something that affirmed me in just the way I might've needed and not even realized. It makes me so happy to have this kind of history with my husband.

06. Picture frames. Man oh man, I definitely have somewhat of an obsession. I love buying funky, beautiful, different frames and especially love filling them with the perfect photo.

05. Driving our minivan! What in the world did we do without it?! There is SO MUCH extra room and it feels like such a family mobile... like our little home away from home! The kids love it in there and we've already started making great family memories in there. I kinda wish we had gotten a van a while back but everything fell into place when it did and I'm so thankful for the vehicle we have now!

04. When my husband has a day off and I get to sleep in... or rather, I get to lay in bed and NOT have to wake up with the kiddos. I know... I really should be diligent and get up BEFORE my kids do so that I have the much coveted alone time. There are two main reasons I don't do this currently: 1. I love sleep and 2. I'm a little on the superstitious side - I feel like if I get up early then somehow they'll instinctively know and they'll get up early, too! Anyways. I love the day(s) where I don't have to be the one to get the girls up and going in the morning.

03. Watching the various ways my kids love one another. The most recent example happened today at Molly's TWO YEAR (post coming about her being such a big girl ASAP) after she got her vaccination. To say she was upset would be putting it mildly. I held her for a moment and then she asked if Presley would hold her (to make her feel better). Presley didn't think twice and held her so lovingly.

02. Walt Disney World. That place IS my happy place. Whether it's walking down Main Street, the smell on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, eating inside Cinderella's Castle, waking up in the resort knowing you're going to spend the entire day at the happiest place on Earth, watching the Main Street Electrical Street Parade at night, Cast Members making EVERYTHING special, or one of the MILLION other reasons to smile while you're there - being there makes me feel so much joy. And when we're not there we keep that joy alive by visiting the Disney Store as much as possible, watching Disney movies, playing with the girls' Disney buddies, and from time to time we watch the Disney Vacation Planning DVD. I love talking to friends about their upcoming Disney trips and being just as excited for them as I would be for my own trip! Not everybody is going to get the Disney obsession, but let me tell you, it is so much fun when you meet people with whom you can share the joys of this particular addiction! (And I'm SO GRATEFUL to share this with my husband!!!! Reason #13 I love that man.)


01. Cooking. I love it. Mostly. I enjoy the anticipation leading up to taking the first bite. I love the house smelling delicious. I appreciate the concentration it takes in addition to just following specific steps. There isn't a whole heck of a lot of thought that needs to go into it when you're following directions and there is something I specifically enjoy about that. I love making my family food! I recently made cinnamon rolls from scratch for the first time and it was challenging and so fun. I'm still not the best cook/baker but I'm always learning and willing to try and for the most part I get it right. (Definitely not always and I am no gourmet chef!)



And that's it! There is my list of some of the things that make me happy. Like I said a few weeks ago, I miss writing prompts! I haven't taken part in anything like that in a while so I just decided to create a few of my own. So I'll write every Thursday for the next ten weeks on these upcoming topics and I am pretty excited! If you'd like to partake I'd love to read some of your thoughts and will hopefully come up with a link up when/if others are involved.

Tony & Ali 5-ever

Five years ago today Tony and I were still reeling from one of the biggest days of our life.

When people talk about the happiest day of their lives they often mention the birth of their children... which I am always a little envious when they truly feel that way. That day is always so intertwined with pain and struggle and exhaustion for me. I always think about our wedding day when the topic of "best day ever" comes up. I felt so much joy and peace on that day, it was amazing. Things went wrong but all negative feelings just bounced right off of me. I had a hundred reasons to be anxious but I was excited and truly happy. My dad was missing from such a huge day of my life and I expected to feel especially empty but instead of that I felt loved and cherished by everyone present. I loved everything about marrying Tony and would do it again every year if I could. We had such a fun time with our friends and family that night! And then we headed off to Walt Disney World in all our wedded bliss.

And since then life has been amazing and absolutely crazy. We were surprised not even two months after our wedding to find out we were expecting and that began an entirely new chapter of our lives. Or really, it would just completely change life as we knew it.

It truly has not stopped or slowed down since. We came home from our honeymoon to our apartment in Silvis which we would end up moving from in the next coming months to the tiny Moline house. That's the house we brought baby Presley home to... the house we became a family in! We stayed there for around two years when we up and moved back to Memphis and lived with friends until we found our home. The Duggan family expanded just after buying our home and we brought Molly home here in 2014 not long after our third anniversary. Life here since then has been crazy and beautiful and full of laughs and tears.

Here we are, five years post-wedding, and we're staring the reality of becoming a family of five directly in the face. Never in a million years did I envision this exact life for us all those years ago. I hoped and dreamed and always thought of what could be, but the reality is so much better. Maybe not every moment of every day... because that crap is hard! (Especially parenting a strong willed child!) But the challenges certainly causes you to grow in the best ways.

One goal for this next year of marriage is to finally use our fondue pot. Yes... this is a serious goal. I'd like to get rid of so much of the unnecessary crap in our life - both the physical stuff as well as the baggage you can't touch.

Dear Lord,
Continue to help us protect our hearts, our love, our marriage, our family
Guide us down the path You have set for us and to put each other first along the way
Teach us how to react with kindness and patience and understanding to each other and those around us and how to grow from the experience when we get it wrong
Thank you for granting courage and grace and mercy in the face of personal adversity 
Help us to remember that as beautiful as looking back is, to live in the now and to always look forward to the future You hold for us
I look forward to the surprises of year six of our marriage and finding ways to make it even better than the last
Thank you for sending me a partner for the ride, please help me to love him the way You love us.

Remember we used to dance

And everyone wanted to be

you and me

I want to be too

Final 50 Questions (PART TEN!)

Wow, it's hard to believe I started answering these questions over three years ago.  It's been fun and challenging but I'm sure happy to be done with this so that I can move on to the next thing! It's been real, it's been fun... thanks 50 Questions for freeing my mind!

(part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine)

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
 Honestly? First thing to mind: I would leave my kids in the car while running errands. It's incredible how many steps there are when it comes to running errands with your kids - especially if the weather is a factor! Goodness... gracious. What would seriously be a 15 second run-into-the-store-and-do-what-you-need-to-do type of trip because a 10 minute ordeal. So yeah, I would leave my kids in my locked car with the windows cracked or something every so often.


47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
 UGH. This happens to me before bed at night. Instead of noticing the sound, though, I will notice the rhythm and how I am not even in control of my breathing, consciously. And then it will become this totally thing where I stop letting my body breathe and my mind starts controlling it and it's awful! Please tell me this happens to other people...

48. What do you love? Have any of your actions openly expressed this love?
 Oh... I love soundtracks. (Right now my favorite is the 50 Shades of Grey soundtrack - it has SO MANY of my favorites old - Sia, Skylar Grey, Ellie Goulding, & Beyonce. And new favorites like The Weeknd & Annie Lennox.) I love staying up late to read a book and then sleeping in late the next day. I love when my husband is off work and gets to stay home with us. I love getting a pedicure. I love visiting zoos. I love swimming pools on warm, sunny days and just laying in the sun. I love big family get-togethers. I love cooking. I love warm (not hot) coffee. I love going on a date with my husband - that alone time makes me feel so cherished. I love getting my hair cut. I love and enjoy so many things, people, places... it's hard to list them all but these are several that shot straight to my mind today.
 And I absolutely have to be better about being thankful to the people who help me enjoy these things and to be more expressive about my love of these things. For example, Tony will let me sleep in on his off day. Instead of waking up in a bright mood & ooze gratitude, I will just go about the day normally or even groggily because sometimes more sleep makes me feel even more tired! Tony's letting me sleep in because he loves me & wants to make me happy and it's something for me to acknowledge each time! There is a big difference between stating your appreciation and showing your appreciation; both are important.

49. 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
 I'm very unlikely to remember what I did yesterday on my own. However, thanks to the Timehop app and all the various social medias that I partake in, I will have some clues to what I was up to.

50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
 For the most part, I am the master of my destiny. However, I have two children and one husband to consider in all matters.

March 20th.

Today is the first day of Spring -- FINALLY.  Despite my allergies, I have a deep love for this season.  Spring is known for new life and gives me so much hope for the beauty to come.

But March 20th means much more to me... it's the day that Tony and I made it official and exclusive twelve years ago.  (Though, honestly, we might as well have made it official two years earlier if it wasn't for me being so stubborn!)  I can't say I know any different than the life I've lived, but it has been an amazing experience growing up next to the person you love.  We've seen each other through a little bit of everything... personal hardship, injuries, loss, failure.  And we've been there through new lives joining us, weddings, graduations, new jobs, big moves.  Not to mention our own wedding, pregnancies, child births, and newborn phases.  We've lived in countless houses, one apartment, and purchased our own home. 

And if you would have asked me twelve years ago whether I would be with Tony for the rest of my life, I would have told you yes.  But of course, don't we all believe that at the time?  Especially our first true love?  Our journey was anything but conventional.  We went through all kinds of bumps over those years and I can't count the number of times I've wished I could go back to what I now refer to as my "lost years" and do things differently... but the truth is, I can't.  And all the things in our past truly do make us the people we are today.  I do know that through the most difficult part of my life that he was the glue that held me together, the gravity that kept me planted, and he was the bright and shiny light when I needed to see.  He was my friend through everything and at a time when it seemed like there was no hope for a future with us, he was steadfast that we would find a way.

We knew one another as carefree kids on the soccer fields, awkward adolescents on the way to prom, almost-adults-but-not-quite struggling to find our way, and now as parents to our own beautiful children. 

I'm so thankful that Tony kept asking me to be his girlfriend until I was ready.  I'm so thankful to be married to someone who I love so much.  I'm so thankful for all the stepping stones that lead us to where we are.  I'm thankful for his surprise visits to the Quad Cities from Memphis when we lived 500+ miles apart.  And I'm thankful to have him next to me through life - then and now.

So while this anniversary gets trumped by our wedding anniversary these days, it's a breath of fresh air to think back on where we were so many years ago.  It fills me with so much awe & appreciation to remember the beautiful, unadulterated love we had for each other and where it all began.

Bloggers I LOVE!

Natalie over at The Iverson's wrote about some of the blogs she's been keeping up with lately and I wanted to share with her a few of the blogs I read frequently right now.  But then I figured I would just write about it and share it with everybody who might be looking for new blogs to read so here you go!  Check them out and let me know what you think!  Also, I'd love to read about some of your favorite bloggers - if you'd like to participate then feel free to link up below and share the love!!!


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AJ Wolfe at the disney food blog | food IS a theme park - this is pretty self explanatory as to why I follow this one... I AM A HUGE DISNEY ADDICT.  One of my favorite things about our honeymoon was the AMAZING restaurants we sampled in a weeks time and the delicious food we tasted.  Reading about it through someone else's experience just makes it all that much more real and vivid for me.  Not to mention, prepares me for any and all future Disney trips we take!  I implore you to check this one out for the simple reason that it will make you extremely HAPPY (and hungry)!!!

Ryanne at Girl Ryanne - I will tell you upfront that this is one blog I do not miss updates on.  As soon as Ryanne posts, I am right there catching up!  Her blog is so incredibly relatable - maybe it's because we are both 20-something married ladies, but I truly believe her writing, journey, and story is very inviting.  Along with her husband, Chris, she is actively TTC (trying to conceive) and this is perhaps the topic at the heart of her blog and my favorite part of her writing - TTC Thursdays!  They are filled with fertility topics and I think it's so commendable that Ryanne shares her knowledge of the topic for ladies who might not know these things otherwise.  Check her out, love her, support her, & let her know you stopped by!!

Allie at Table for MORE - One of my mommy inspirations!  She is breastfeeding, Catholic mother to FOUR beautiful boys (4 under 4 if I'm not mistaken) and not only that but she blogs about healthy living, birthday party planning, DIYs, home renovations, decorating & home life as a woman, wife, and mother.  Not to mention... Allie's also got some new projects in-the-works that I'm patiently awaiting!!  Not kidding when I say I love this blogger! 

Mandi at Messy Wife, Blessed Life - been LOVING this blog lately.  I've been following it for several years now, so I am totally invested, but she has been through some major life changing events recently and the tone of her writing has developed and matured and I just love her perspective on life.  She's a Catholic mom blogger so it helps that we have similar interests as well.  Definitely check out her blog!



and a bonus blogger just starting out...
Kaela at For Love and Sunday Adventures - new blog alert!!!  This is a fellow Memphis blogger who is documenting her newlywed life throughout the first year of her marriage!  Another bonus in following Kaela?  She's going to be sharing her monthly date adventures via blog (read more about that here) - I, like the rest of the world, could use a little bit more romance & happies in my life and if that means reading along in her journey, count me in!

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Marriage Monday: Jennifer's Guest Post - Becoming a Wife

September 17th of this year, my husband LT and I will be married two years.  It seems like yesterday I was putting on my wedding gown and preparing to walk down the isle and begin the next chapter of my life.  It was a day that will always be in my memory.  It was perfect.  The weather, the ceremony, the reception.  I couldn't have asked for a better day.


Planning our perfect day was all but perfect.  We got engaged in December of 2010 and decided on a date of early November the following year.  We set the date and started planning right away.  Everything was going great until early January 2011.  LT found out some of the worst news of his life.  His father had stage 4 melanoma.


After a few months of treatment that didn't seem to be working, the doctors decided that he only had about 6 months to live, so we did what we thought was right and moved up the wedding date.  What I thought was about a year to plan quickly turned in to about 6 months.  To say that I was stressed was an understatement.  As much as I wanted to be excited about planning my wedding, I wasn't.  In the back of my mind I knew that my soon to be father-in-law probably wouldn't be there to see his oldest son become a husband.


It was the hardest few months of my life.  I had to become a wife before I was actually a wife.  The majority of our time was spent traveling back and forth to Kentucky to spend time with his dad.  So not only was I planning a wedding, but I was also having to quickly learn how to be a wife and be there for my soon-to-be husband during one of the hardest things he would ever have to go through.  It was painful to see my husband so hurt.


In June of that year his father went to be with the Lord.  It was difficult and a relief all at the same time.  His dad wasn't suffering anymore, but now we were devastated.  How was I supposed to finish planning this wonderful day of ours, when my husband was so hurt?  I had so many mixed emotions.


Finishing up the wedding plans was so hard.  But when the day finally came, I felt I could breathe a little easier.  All those hard months of planning had paid off.  I was about to marry my husband.


Yesterday was not only father's day, but also the 2 year anniversary of my father in laws death.  I think it was more difficult for me than it was for my husband.  I was scared to death to even mention the word "father" yesterday.  But I'm so proud of my husband because he did great.


So where am I going with this?  Becoming a wife was a difficult process for me.  I had to learn how to be a wife before I was actually a "wife".  But do we ever get to that point where we are the perfect wife?  We never do.  Like marriage, being a wife is never a perfect job.  It constantly takes work.  Here are a few tips that I have written down that really help me understand what is means to be a wife:


Get your priorities straight.  This is the most important tip.  Always put God as your number one and your husband as your number two.  Yes this means that your children come third.  I know that will cause an uproar with some people, but it's true.  And that's not my rule it's God's.  Once you get your priorities in order, things will start to fall into place.


Keep your promise.  Marriage is not just an agreement or a contract.  It's a promise.  A promise to you, your husband and to God.  A promise that is not to be broken.  It's a promise that takes work, and we must remember that God is not going to put anything in front of us that we can't handle.  


Make your husband happy.  This is a big one girls.  Remember, your husband comes before yourself.  Think about what makes your husband happy.  Do things for him.  It doesn't have to be big things.  It's usually the little things that mean the most.  My husband loves to play golf, I'm not a big fan, but every once in a while I'll go with him and it thrills him.


Don't talk bad about him.  Let's be honest.  Our husbands drive us nuts sometimes.  It's easy to have a girl's night and bash our husbands over a few glasses of wine, but it's wrong.  I will be the first to admit that I'm guilty of doing this.  We all are.  Let's make a promise to ourselves to work on this one.  Praise your husbands.  Think about it this way, God is our number one, but what would he think if  we bashed him everytime we got together with our friends?

Be honest with him.  If you don't like something tell him.  Communicate with him.  Tell him how you feel.  Your husband is your best friend, and you should be able to tell him anything.


Have fun with him.  Laugh with your husband.  Having fun with him is so important.  Be goofy, and silly!  God loves to see you happy.

Pray for him.  You should do this everyday, multiple times a day.  As the head of the household, your husband needs prayer.  

Being a wife takes work.  It's not something that comes natural to anybody.  Make yourself a promise today to become a better wife.  To become a Godly wife. 

xoxo,

Jennifer

Jennifer's Blog:  Sweet Southern Wife
As you may have already established, Jennifer is a wife - but she is also a mama to her two fur-babies, Zoe & Tucker.  She's from North Carolina and blogs about life as a Christian as well as everyday happenings with her husband.  Right away after stumbling upon her blog, I knew I had to ask her to guest blog for the marriage series!  Jennifer is so easy to relate to and has such a great sense of humor.  Not only that, but she takes her marriage seriously and their relationship is a priority - both things that would allow her to gain experience and knowledge that would be wonderful to share with all of us!  Thanks for stopping by, Jennifer!  You're most welcome back anytime.

Incredible.

Feeling so very grateful tonight for my life.  For the people who are in my life, for the people who have exited my life, and especially for my little family.

I am absolutely counting my blessings and thanking God for his timing.

 

Marriage Monday: Sharing Spirituality

I look around the pews in our beautiful church and I see fervent prayers.  I see women who appear to be very put together.  I watch some children who can sit still through the entire mass and not make a peep!

So I start to compare.  My clothes certainly aren't fancy.

I get intimidated.  Does Father realize I missed mass last week?  ...and the week before?

I feel self-conscious.  Oh man, why is Presley being so squirmy and loud today?

I know I'm imperfect.

I think to myself how I am constantly getting consumed in getting through each day and forget to talk to God... I don't remember how important it is to hand Him my anxiety on a daily basis.  Why is it so difficult to maintain a relationship with God?  And if I can't do that, what am I doing here in mass?  And sometimes in mass, I feel that surely there are people who can see my weakness and my struggles as a facade.  Can they tell I am nowhere near my ideal relationship with Christ?

You might know me, you might know my husband, you might be familiar with our marriage, but I realize you may not be familiar with our spiritual life, so let me explain.
I have a fantastic husband who was baptized during the Easter vigil three years ago {at the time he was my fiance}.  It was one of the most beautiful masses that I have ever attended.
And he's married to a lifetime Catholic lady who was baptized around Christmastime in 1987 {that's me}.

We're members of Christ the King Catholic Church in Moline, Illinois and cannot say enough wonderful things about our church family, the beautiful church, and most of all - our beloved priest, Father Levitt.  Father Levitt baptized Tony in 2010, married us in 2011, and then baptized Presley in 2012 and we feel very accepted and loved by him.

L: Husband & Wife - May 2011 and R: Presley's baptism - May 2012

We are Saturday evening church-goers rather than Sunday because mornings are not our thing.  I've found it's much easier to talk ourselves out of attending mass in the morning rather than the late afternoon!  We also relish our Sundays as a day for just us. 

I grew up in a house where we attended mass on a semi-regular schedule.  Sometimes we were good about going every week, other times our busy family of 5 opted to sleep in on Sunday mornings (see where I got it?).  At certain points in high school, youth group was an absolute lifeline and such a joy in my life.  Further into high school programs like QUEST, SEARCH and TEC lit a fire inside of me for Christ that I never thought would flicker out.  But over time, it did.  Never completely out, but down to just embers at times.

Tony's family never really attended church growing up.  Yet, I honestly couldn't have married a more Christian-spirited man.  He is kind and forgiving and honest and faithful to all those who walk into his life as well as perfect strangers.  This spirit is something his parents instilled in him growing up - though God wasn't a topic of discussion, they taught him respect and equipped him with unbreakable morals and for that, I am most grateful.  I know God watched over Tony and helped to protect him until we found one another.  Even still, it's the faith part that is a little more difficult for my husband to decipher.  He is a science and fact lover, so the believing is difficult for him. (Though, I have never seen science and religion as being at odds with each other.  One exists BECAUSE of the other.)  In all honesty, it's hard for many Christians and it can be just as hard for me at times.  Though, I like to think of him as my "Doubting Thomas."  (Which is funny considering my husband's middle name is Thomas.)  Because if my husband were an apostle, that would absolutely be him.

Naively, I thought once we went through the RCIA {the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults} process that we would instantly be a changed couple that would be praying together often, attending bible studies and mass together.  But we weren't.  Then I thought surely being married in the church would have that affect on us.  But it didn't.  So what about once we had a child?  Nope, none of that has happened for us.  It's been a slow process for us to grow in faith as a couple.  Some days I feel that it will come with time and patience, that my husband will feel a stronger understanding of what this faith means to him... that I will become more motivated to get the ball rolling between us... and then there are other times that I'm just frustrated.  But recently I realized that before I worry about our mutual relationship with Christ that I need to mend all the holes in my relationship alone with Christ.  As it becomes a major staple in my daily life, it will spread into our home, marriage, and family life.


And you know what I am finally beginning to accept?  Being Christian doesn't mean you are perfect - it doesn't mean you will always say or do the right things - but it means you are trying.  You are doing.  You are moving forward.  Being Christian is all about the growth and the traveling and the getting there.  Really, it's about the journey of how we get there!

When I think of my faith in those terms, I know that I am really only beginning on the path towards where I want to be.  As Tony and I learn what it means to live in a marriage full of faith and love for each other and the Lord, we will move towards the Ecclesiastes 4:12 kind of marriage - And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.  I want nothing more than to meet my husband in heaven one day and I am willing to do whatever it takes to get us there!

While we're trying to figure out what being part of a spiritual marriage means to us, I'd love to hear what it means to you.  What has lined the path of spiritual growth for you and your spouse? 

Marriage Monday: A Little History

For the last few years in my blog's "about me" section I included the story of how Tony proposed to me.  When I first started blogging it was such a central part of my life - having just become engaged.  But now, as important as the experience is still to us, the farther we move away from that day in 2009, the less central it is in defining our family.  I figured I would write a blog about that special weekend so that the memories would be tucked away and safe inside this blog.

So let me just preface with a little about our dating history and our history as friends.

I can't remember when exactly Tony and I first met since we played soccer at the same church and had a lot of the same friends, but my first memory of Tony takes place in 2000.  Fall soccer was just beginning and when I was walking towards the fields with a friend, I remember seeing him riding his yellow bike.  It wasn't the first time I saw him, but it was the first time I got the courage to say something to him.  I just remember thinking he was heartbreakingly cute and that he was way out of my league with his good looks paired with the fact that he was just over two years older than me.  (Plus, I was dating one of his friends at the time.)  None of this mattered at the time and I waved to him and we exchanged hellos.  I'd say that since then we slowly got to the point where we spoke when we saw each other and eventually we became friends.  At that point, Tony and I did a lot of hanging out within our group of friends which mostly included my little sister (Ashley), his little brother (Sean), my best friend (Christine), his best friend/my boyfriend at the time (Peyton), and Peyton's older brother (Damen).

Here is one of my soccer teams, not sure which year this was, though.
Me (pink) & Christine (purple) are on the back row and Sean (green), Ashley (yellow), and Peyton (blue) are in the front.

Next up came my 13th birthday party that November.  I invited my closest friends at the time - we listened to music and danced in my garage, ate pizza (I think?) and had a scavenger hunt in my neighborhood.  If I didn't already have a crush on Tony, I realized the night of my birthday party how much I was genuinely interested in him and how different he was than any other boy I'd met.

This is just a portion of the original photo from my 13th birthday party.

After that was the ski trip to Gatlinburg, Tennessee with Brookside Baptist (the church we played soccer at) over Martin Luther King Jr. weekend in January 2001.  My big sister (Amanda) was going on the ski trip and so was Christine, Peyton, Damen, Tony, and a bunch of other guys and girls that either played soccer or basketball at Brookside.  The majority of people going were Amanda, Damen, and Tony's age and honestly, I felt very threatened of some of the older girls.  They were older, prettier, and funnier than me and more comfortable openly flirting with Tony!  I picked a van and when the older girls went to the other van and asked Tony if he was coming to their van, my heart sank.  I don't know what prompted Tony to decline their offer and come into the van I was in... whether it was me or Peyton or whatever reason... I am so thankful for the choice he made!  (I think when I asked him about this years later he said he thought the girls his age were too pushy!  So the tortoise really does win the race, huh?)  The whole weekend of the ski trip was such a blast - we mostly just goofed off and laughed at everything - but we really did get to know each other over the weekend.  We were either talking in the van on the way home or we were writing notes back and forth... either way, I remember Tony and I told each other then that we really liked each other.  And there was no looking back from that point between us!

So serious.

Why he chose my van... I have no idea! Look at that greasy hair!

The cutest boy I'd ever seen!

For whatever reason, I really didn't think I should have a boyfriend in middle school (or maybe was playing hard to get?) so I didn't accept Tony's request to be his girlfriend until my freshman year of high school.  At this point he was a senior!  We went to prom together and I had no idea what I was doing or getting myself into!  The first song we ever danced to was "Only God Knows Why" by Kid Rock - how unromantic!!!  But it really was so much fun... even if we only danced to a few slow songs because we were both still pretty shy.

Me and Tony with Damen and his date

May 2003

We were pretty off-and-on throughout my time in high school - but he was always such a staple in my life whether we were dating or just friends at the time.

Fast forward to January 2007, after a few years of not really being exclusive while we were long distance, we made the decision to become exclusive again!  I remember saying that if we broke up again then it was going to be for good - I didn't want to be that dysfunctional couple anymore and I was ready to be with him.  We lived together in Tennessee with some friends for a year and then moved into an apartment of our own in Illinois in 2008.  2009 came around and I remember feeling anxious to start the next chapter of our life.  I was always thinking about when or how he would propose and towards the end of the year I started to feel like he was never going to pop the question!

Us in our first place!

My birthday was coming up (November 2009) and he told me he was planning something special for my birthday but that it was a surprise.  After a few days/weeks he gave me a few hints: 1) That we could leave whenever we wanted to on the 13th and  2) Tony had bought something that was nonrefundable.  3) I needed to ask off work from November 13-16.  I had tons of ideas but the first plausable idea that I came up with was that Tony must have bought tickets to the Dallas Cowboys/Green Bay Packers game in Wisconsin for that weekend.  I was 100% certain that's what we were doing because we were both Cowboys fans, but somehow I was a bit disappointed at that.  Didn't that seem like something we would do for HIS birthday?

Little did I know what he was ACTUALLY planning.

The weekend before my birthday (November 6-9) I was part of a church retreat and was gone the entire weekend.  While I was away, Tony was out at the jewelry store picking out an engagement ring!

Tuesday, November 10th was my actual birthday and he promised to tell my the big secret today!  On our way to my birthday dinner at Red Robin, Tony gave me my birthday card and it was a SPANISH birthday card.  (He had been giving his friend's Spanish birthday cards that year and would use Google translator to write the messages in Spanish to be a pain!)  Immediately, I freaked out thinking he had written the inside message in a language that I did not speak!  Thank goodness, that part was in English!  Part of it read:

...I really hope you enjoy your present and I hope you are glad we are flying rather than driving LOL. It will be our first time flying together... I get window seat!! Ok, so we can do rock, paper, scissors for that later.  I can't believe it's been 9 years since our scavenger hunt at the Peppermill house. You were just becoming a teenager! It's been awesome the whole way babe...

Tony then told me we were going to Bradenton, Florida to visit my Grandmother, who I rarely get to see.  (I had just opened a card from my Gramma Myers and had just gotten done telling TOny how sad I was that we hadn't seen each other in a year and a half.  AND I HAD NO IDEA of the surprise!!!)  Now, since we had been together a long while, Tony knew I'd get some ideas in my head for this super special trip.  To throw me off the trail a bit, he told my cousin, Breanne, that he wouldn't be proposing on this trip because he couldn't afford the ring I deserved.  Tony also told Breanne that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, but just wasn't financially ready to purchase a ring and was hoping I wouldn't get my hopes up.  He knew Breanne and I would talk about this and that I would put any idea of an engagement out of my head during out trip.  What a smart guy because that is exactly how it happened.  I was so touched at what he said to Breanne that the thought of him proposing to me in Florida had been wiped out of my expectations.

Tony & I spent 3 awesome days in Florida.  

On our 4th & final day (Monday, November 16) in paradise we went to the beach one last time.  We collected shells, got a bite to eat at the Sandbar alongside the beach, and started walking back to the car when I started to get really sad we were leaving.  

 

Getting to the beach on our last day

Searching for shells

Getting a quick snack at "The Sandbar" before leaving the beach

I had no idea that this would be our last picture as boyfriend and girlfriend

Tony suggested we sit by the water and enjoy the beach another minute before we leave.  (I thought that was SO sweet!)  That's when Tony said he had a poem to read me that he wrote for my birthday (he'd never written me a poem EVER) and began to read...

I love you more than Dallas vs. Green Bay, and a football game for your birthday.
I love you more than Madden and my PS3, and hopefully more than you love Daughtry.
I love you more than all my buddies at Honda and Electro Freeze; plus those yummy things you made with ham, pickles, and cream cheese.
I love you more than buffalo chicken pizza from Bad Boys; and hacky sacks, frisbees, and all those other toys.
I love you more than spaghetti and facebook, & while we're on the subject, that trip to St. Louis in Granny's car we took.
I love you more than Brookside Soccer and our Shelby Farm hike... I'm not sure if you remember, but also this cool yellow bike.
I love you more than the blue sky, the sandy beach, and the sea...
Allison Michelle Myers, will you marry me?

I really could not believe it!  I said OF COURSE, we hugged, I cried... and then I stood up and told Tony he had to get on his knee!!!  The entire trip had been so amazing with him beside me and to have such a grand finale like that was so special.  Sometimes I still have a hard time believing that actually happened!

That is quite a long history there!  If you made it this far after reading the entire thing - you are probably family, a close friend, or just really awesome... either way - I hope this wasn't too boring to you.  These are some of my favorite memories that I hope I will never forget!

So it makes me wonder, what is the story between you and your significant other?  How did you meet or how did he propose? 


I'd love to hear your story and possibly feature it on an upcoming Marriage Monday!  If you're interested in contributing, e-mail me your story.  Otherwise, if you write about it in your own blog, come back here and leave a comment so I can link it up here at the bottom.

Hope you had an great "marriage" Monday!  Hopefully next week I can ACTUALLY get Tony to write something, especially now that March Madness is over...