Marriage Monday: Jennifer's Guest Post - Becoming a Wife

September 17th of this year, my husband LT and I will be married two years.  It seems like yesterday I was putting on my wedding gown and preparing to walk down the isle and begin the next chapter of my life.  It was a day that will always be in my memory.  It was perfect.  The weather, the ceremony, the reception.  I couldn't have asked for a better day.

Planning our perfect day was all but perfect.  We got engaged in December of 2010 and decided on a date of early November the following year.  We set the date and started planning right away.  Everything was going great until early January 2011.  LT found out some of the worst news of his life.  His father had stage 4 melanoma.

After a few months of treatment that didn't seem to be working, the doctors decided that he only had about 6 months to live, so we did what we thought was right and moved up the wedding date.  What I thought was about a year to plan quickly turned in to about 6 months.  To say that I was stressed was an understatement.  As much as I wanted to be excited about planning my wedding, I wasn't.  In the back of my mind I knew that my soon to be father-in-law probably wouldn't be there to see his oldest son become a husband.

It was the hardest few months of my life.  I had to become a wife before I was actually a wife.  The majority of our time was spent traveling back and forth to Kentucky to spend time with his dad.  So not only was I planning a wedding, but I was also having to quickly learn how to be a wife and be there for my soon-to-be husband during one of the hardest things he would ever have to go through.  It was painful to see my husband so hurt.

In June of that year his father went to be with the Lord.  It was difficult and a relief all at the same time.  His dad wasn't suffering anymore, but now we were devastated.  How was I supposed to finish planning this wonderful day of ours, when my husband was so hurt?  I had so many mixed emotions.

Finishing up the wedding plans was so hard.  But when the day finally came, I felt I could breathe a little easier.  All those hard months of planning had paid off.  I was about to marry my husband.

Yesterday was not only father's day, but also the 2 year anniversary of my father in laws death.  I think it was more difficult for me than it was for my husband.  I was scared to death to even mention the word "father" yesterday.  But I'm so proud of my husband because he did great.

So where am I going with this?  Becoming a wife was a difficult process for me.  I had to learn how to be a wife before I was actually a "wife".  But do we ever get to that point where we are the perfect wife?  We never do.  Like marriage, being a wife is never a perfect job.  It constantly takes work.  Here are a few tips that I have written down that really help me understand what is means to be a wife:

Get your priorities straightThis is the most important tip.  Always put God as your number one and your husband as your number two.  Yes this means that your children come third.  I know that will cause an uproar with some people, but it's true.  And that's not my rule it's God's.  Once you get your priorities in order, things will start to fall into place.

Keep your promise.  Marriage is not just an agreement or a contract.  It's a promise.  A promise to you, your husband and to God.  A promise that is not to be broken.  It's a promise that takes work, and we must remember that God is not going to put anything in front of us that we can't handle.  

Make your husband happy.  This is a big one girls.  Remember, your husband comes before yourself.  Think about what makes your husband happy.  Do things for him.  It doesn't have to be big things.  It's usually the little things that mean the most.  My husband loves to play golf, I'm not a big fan, but every once in a while I'll go with him and it thrills him.

Don't talk bad about him.  Let's be honest.  Our husbands drive us nuts sometimes.  It's easy to have a girl's night and bash our husbands over a few glasses of wine, but it's wrong.  I will be the first to admit that I'm guilty of doing this.  We all are.  Let's make a promise to ourselves to work on this one.  Praise your husbands.  Think about it this way, God is our number one, but what would he think if  we bashed him everytime we got together with our friends?

Be honest with him.  If you don't like something tell him.  Communicate with him.  Tell him how you feel.  Your husband is your best friend, and you should be able to tell him anything.

Have fun with him.  Laugh with your husband.  Having fun with him is so important.  Be goofy, and silly!  God loves to see you happy.

Pray for him.  You should do this everyday, multiple times a day.  As the head of the household, your husband needs prayer.  

Being a wife takes work.  It's not something that comes natural to anybody.  Make yourself a promise today to become a better wife.  To become a Godly wife. 



Jennifer's Blog:  Sweet Southern Wife
As you may have already established, Jennifer is a wife - but she is also a mama to her two fur-babies, Zoe & Tucker.  She's from North Carolina and blogs about life as a Christian as well as everyday happenings with her husband.  Right away after stumbling upon her blog, I knew I had to ask her to guest blog for the marriage series!  Jennifer is so easy to relate to and has such a great sense of humor.  Not only that, but she takes her marriage seriously and their relationship is a priority - both things that would allow her to gain experience and knowledge that would be wonderful to share with all of us!  Thanks for stopping by, Jennifer!  You're most welcome back anytime.


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