31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
I remember feeling so alive on our wedding day. Yes, it was all going by so fast and now seems like such a blur - but it was such an amazing day. I know it sounds silly, but when I was working at the zoo I always felt passionate about what I was doing and very excited to be there. It had been over a year since I had worked outside the home - so I know that entering back into the work force (though it was brief) was really great for me.
32. If not now, then when?
I guess we are in such a current state of limbo at the moment that I just feel like life is paused, despite our constant going on living. I just keep thinking, "Oh, things will be different once we get back into a house of our own."
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
I definitely think I have a lot left to achieve when it comes to feeling passionate and alive on a regular basis. I think it just requires stepping outside my comfort zone. For example, it's easy to stay home and relax while Presley plays with blocks or watches a movie. It's easy and it requires little effort on my part. Like I said, I tell myself it's only temporary and "life" will resume once we get into our own home again - but what is keeping me from changing these behaviors now? I thought our life would be on "pause" one or two months at most - but we have been in the "in between" for three months now and it's been about four months for Tony. Hard to believe! But the end is in sight and once our new opportunities are here, it will be up to me to change our routine for the better.
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
I can't say that I have been in a completely similar situation - but I remember feeling this way (a lot) about Tony in our earliest days. Granted, we were really young so it was quite different, but when we went on the ski trip together in 2001, I remember just walking through downtown Gatlinburg next to him, riding in the van near him, and in situations like that - I just felt so emotionally charged, regardless of any conversation between the two of us.
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
I think it's got to be the lust of power. Once you have any amount of power it goes right to your head and it becomes a slippery slope - you are so afraid of losing that power that you get desperate and you will go against your teachings in order to safeguard even the idea of your power. And then, of course, once you've found the Lord you can excuse just about any behavior that works against the teachings of your religion in some way or another and people will still think the world of you. It's sad, really.