Changes!

Isn't it funny how life changes in a short amount of time?

May 20, 2011

March 17, 2012

That is the bench outside of our church.  We took a family picture out front on St. Patrick's Day near the bench and I remembered the picture from our wedding day and decided to stop and take a picture with Presley on the bench!  So much has changed in 10 months and if you would have told me on my wedding day that Tony & I would have a baby 9 months from then, I would have laughed in your face!  (And would have been more careful on our honeymoon!!!!!)  But, everything happens for a reason and now we have Miss Presley! 

I often think about what life would be like right now if we hadn't conceived right away.  I wonder when and if we would have made the decision to have kids; would we be wanting them by now? Would we even be thinking of it?  I also feel like it all happened SO fast and it would have been so nice to breathe and have some time together just the two of us post-wedding... but that's life for you. 

Life is definitely getting easier for me to handle these past few weeks, but especially this last week.  Presley has continued sleeping through the night for a solid week now (YAY, BIG GIRL!) from about 10pm-6am.  I feel so blessed and fortunate to have sleep in my life again!!!  At first, I couldn't IMAGINE going through this newborn stage ever again, but now, it's doable and I can imagine Presley having a sibling someday (God-willing!).  But, if it doesn't happen for us, then I think I could see myself being perfectly happy with just one child.  I just love my sisters so much that I honestly couldn't imagine my life without them and I would want to give Presley that as well, even though I'm sure she will see it as a curse throughout adolescence rather than a gift!  Again, that's life for you!

We went out to dinner last night and got Presley all dressed up and looking sweet as ever!  She behaved so nicely (aka, slept!) while Tony & I ate and then I wanted to get a picture with her when we got home and this is the face she made....

Granted, she was hungry starving by the time we took this picture, but I thought it was pretty hilarious!  Definitely going in the baby book.

My Grampa is having surgery on Monday on his corroded artery.  I think without the surgery he is at a 30% risk of having a stroke, or something along those lines.  So, if you are the praying type and have an extra moment to think of him in prayer, I would appreciate it.  Although my Grampa and I have not always had the closest relationship, life would be much emptier without him.  Grandparents are so special.  It's so sad not being able to spend time with my Grampa Fred or having the opportunity to get to know him as an adult, and it makes me extremely sad nearly kills me that Presley will never know her Grampa Scott.  So, I am really hoping that Grampa Ron leaves surgery healthier and happier than before having it.

On a happier note, the weather is changing outside and I'm so looking forward to enjoying a beautiful spring this year.  I hope to have many outside walks with Presley.  And I also can't wait for Easter next weekend!!!  We're visiting Aunt Jill & Chuck -- it'll be our first road trip with Pres and our first overnight stay away from home... it shall be interesting but I think it'll go smoothly!  My family and I are all so lucky to have Aunt Jill because she makes it a priority to bring the family together for holidays and special occasions and makes sure it happens.  We always have fun visiting them and I can't wait for Presley to get to experience that.

That's about it for now... it's a typical Saturday around here... both Presley & Tony are napping!  I'd like to go do some shopping so off I go!

My top 13 Mommy must-have's!

01.  Lansinoh Breast Pads! (Or, really any breast pad that you like!)

I've tried the Avent breast pads and as much as I like Avent, Lansinoh definitely makes a superior breast pad.  They are comfortable and are a bigger size than Avent with two adhesive strips (Avent only has one).  Breast pads are a must for me because I would hate to have a leak or mess anytime of day.  I've also tried washable/reusable breast pads and I didn't care for them at all.  So I highly recommend Lansinoh!

02.  Avent Pacifiers!

Classic pacifiers at the top & soothie at the bottom!

We use the classic pacifiers in addition to her soothie pacifier that they gave us from the hospital.  She uses her soothie at night and the classic paci's in the daytime as needed.  I really thought that we wouldn't introduce her to pacifiers but they have really helped us at bedtime or naps during the day when she is overtired and upset and having a hard time relaxing.  As of now, I don't really foresee her being one of those kids who NEEDS one though because often times she'll end up falling asleep with it out of her mouth.  But we'll see!

03.  A nice, new car seat (with a base) & stroller combo!

We bought the baby trend expedition travel system and absolutely love it.  We also have a convertible car seat without a base that is extremely hard for me to figure out setting it up, especially in an older car.  So, with the nice base, it's super easy to set it up and it's nice to take the carrier out and into stores with her in it.  Not to mention, I am in love with our jogging stroller.  It has real tires that are durable, unlike those fake plastic "tires" on most strollers --not sure why but I really don't like those.  Another nice thing about this stroller is built in speakers so we can plug in our iPod and listen to music... that's been really nice when we go on our walks outside.  I feel that this set is very safe and that is honestly most important to me and has given me a great deal of peace of mind!

04.  Luvs & Pampers!  (Or really, find out which brands of diapers you like and stick with them!)


We've found out that we absolutely love Luvs and Pampers diapers!  We have also tried Huggies and Babies R Us brands and have liked them a great deal less (poor fit on the Huggies and poor quality on the BRU brand).  Luvs seems to have a great fit and Pampers offers wonderful protection & we love their indicator strip!

05.  Pack & Play with bassinet! 

Ours looks very similar to this!

We've been using this in our room for Presley to sleep in the past 5 weeks and it has worked wonderfully for us.  It's been a great bassinet for her and what's nice about the pack & play is that we can use it differently as she grows.  I can't imagine not having Presley in our room this past month+ while breastfeeding, it's been so nice to pick her up at the foot of our bed to get ready for the nighttime feeding.  Since Tony's such a hard sleeper we're able to feed in bed next to him as he sleeps so we're pretty lucky there.  We were lucky enough to get our pack & play from a friend and I cannot imagine having a little one without it!!!

06. 07. & 08.  Nice, sturdy changing table, a dependable diaper pail, and PEE PADS!!!!

Diaper pail to the left, our great changing table, and our pee pad up top!

These things have been such a big help because - really - this is where we spend most of our time, I swear!!!  Newborns mess up their diapers around the clock!  At first we were just using a changing pad on top of a dresser to change her but that just wasn't sturdy enough so we broke down and got a fabulous Delta changing table.  Our diaper pail is AWESOME because it doesn't take expensive refills for the bags, instead, we use 10 gallon trash bags that are totally inexpensive.  Plus, our specific diaper pail (Safety 1st Easy Saver Diaper Pail) comes with a deodorizer disc that really helps keep the smell down.  So far, once the diapers go in the pail, we do not smell them!  And lastly, our beloved pee pads!  When she does have accidents on the changing table, it is SO NICE to just pick up the pee pad and throw it away!  Totally worth it.



09.  Prince Lionheart wipe warmer!

Oh gosh, this has been such a wonderful thing.  Before having Presley I heard that a wipe warmer was one of those things that you absolutely don't need... but since having her and changing her so many times a day, it is VERY necessary in this household!  It has helped cut down the amount of time Presley pees or poops on the changing table now that we're wiping her with warm wipes rather than cold ones!  (Presley says, "Thank you for my wipe warmer, Grandmommy!")

10.  Body carrier/sling!  (We are lucky enough to have a crafty friend who sent us a moby she made herself!)

Not the best picture, but this is me wearing Presley :)

Man.  It's been so wonderful having this because now instead of having Presley nap on my chest ALL afternoon and being stuck on the couch, now I can do things hands free while she naps -- like writing a blog!  It's seriously been priceless and I would suggest the Moby or whatever sling/carrier works for you and your little one.

11.  BOPPY PILLOW!

We'd certainly be lost without her boppy pillow.  I use this pillow for every single feeding.  When I've had to feed without it, it's fine but it's certainly not the same and not as comfortable.  In addition to feeding, Presley loves to relax on her Boppy!  And I love being able to take the cover off to clean it if we spill on it.  HIGHLY recommend it!!!

12.  Johnson's hand & face wipes!

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.  Again, these were given to us as a gift from a mom who has been there, done that, and GOODNESS... do I love these!  I've fallen more in love with them since Presley has gotten thrush and has to have medicine 4x's a day.  Her liquid medicine is very goopy and sticky and these wipes have really helped keep her face clean afterwards and are safe on her face (and neck, as she has a tendency to spit out her medicine often).

13.  Avent Microwave Sterilizer

This is a great, quick, and easy way to keep Presley's bottles, nipples, breast pump parts, pacifiers, etc. all clean and sanitary.  Again, it's come in handy so much more now that we're needing to sanitize things more often with treating Presley's thrush.



Other things that have come in handy over the last few weeks for myself:  the water jug from the hospital, Carnation sugar-free instant breakfast, my iPod, and our Wifi at home.  You drink TONS of water while breastfeeding, so having this big jug to fill up a few times throughout the day is perfect.  I don't have a huge morning appetite or tons of time to fix anything, so instant breakfast has been absolutely wonderful.  I use my iPod during feedings to keep me preoccupied or while Presley naps on me and since we have Wifi I'm able to stay connected to the internet so I don't drive myself crazy!

I hope some of these things help you out if you're a new mom or becoming one anytime soon, otherwise, I'd love to hear things that have helped you throughout raising your children!

Happy 5 week birthday, Princess Presley!

Here she is at 4 weeks old with her teddy bear from Grandmommy!

So, I just wrote a big blog about all the changes Presley's made in the last few weeks, but of course, the internet crapped out and I lost the entire thing.  How frustrating!  Not to mention, I've been working on it on and off ALL day and was finally getting it finished.  *sigh*

Anyways, we've got a 5 week old now, and that is crazy/awesome/unbelievable.  What is wonderful is that she has "slept through the night" - or at least for a little one - the past two nights!  It really gives me hope and we end up having much better days after such easy nights.  We're still breastfeeding exclusively and while we've definitely fallen into an easy routine there, it is still very tiring/taxing having someone attached to you so much.  It's a lot of work but it is worth it for all the benefits she and I are receiving by breastfeeding.  I'm so tempted to switch to formula for the convenience factor, but I'm sticking with it.  I met the 4 week goal for breastfeeding and set a new goal to continue to breastfeed until she's 3 months old.  But of course if in that amount of time it just stops working well for us, then I'm not going to beat myself up if I don't meet this new goal.

One funny thing that has been changing in Presley is her hairline!  She's beginning to lose some of her hair in the front.  Here is a picture from her "newborn" pictures when she was 2.5 weeks old...

Such a wonderful photo! http://www.rickjennisch.com/

And here she is last week...

Definitely losing some hair up top, but just as cute!

And one change that we're making around here is to start reading stories to her.  I haven't been reading to her whatsoever because I didn't really know the importance of it, but after reading this article I'd like to start!  I think I'll start by reading stories from a big book on life from my sister, Amanda, as well as pick some little books from her growing library!

I'm going to be writing a blog about my favorite mommy must-have's because there have definitely been some things that I have really come to appreciate having over these last few weeks.  I started making a mental list of things to share with my sister (who's expecting her first in just a few short months) and the list has really been growing and I'm excited to share the things we have loved using.  After reading some of my fellow new-mom bloggers share the items they've most enjoyed (Little Baby Garvin, Life Lessons of a New Mommy, and Mi Todo) it's inspired me to do the same as well as go out to buy and try some of their favorites that may come in handy with Presley!

That's about it for this blog, I'll leave with some photos of us from the past few weeks!  Have a happy week everybody.

Here we are on the 17th -- St. Patrick's Day & Presley's first holiday!

And here we are the 24th!

Presley's Birthday Story!

So, the more time that passes between now and the day we met Presley, the more I forget about the details!  It makes me so sad as well as angry with myself for not making time to type out all the happenings from those few days!  But I plan to try my best to remember all the important (and less important) details from that weekend... so here we go...


It all started on a Saturday morning.  It was February 18th around 4 AM and Tony was getting up and leaving for work that morning (he had to be there at 5AM).  I got up to use the restroom and tried going back to bed but around 4:30 AM I started to feel very uncomfortable, almost like Presley was moving around really oddly inside of me.  I started to realize that the uncomfortable feeling would come and go pretty regularly so that's when I enlisted the help of a trusty iPod app to help me time what I was assuming were contractions.  Sure enough, the pain was coming in about every five minutes and lasting for a minute.  At this point I was WAY too excited to go back to sleep so I stayed up and timed the contractions.  Considering that this was my first time going through this, I had no idea if I was supposed to go in and get checked out or what, so I called my doctor's office and the on-call doctor suggested I go in just to get checked out.  So I did and I hadn't progressed any since my last doctors appointment -- 1 CM & about 70% effaced.  They hooked me up to machines, monitored me for an hour or so, checked me again, and same thing.  I told the nurse on duty that my doctor was out of town and that they were supposed to contact my doctor's midwife because that's who I preferred if my doctor was absent.  The nurse kinda dismissed that and told me I was stuck with the on-call doctor.  Nothing was progressing, so I went home to labor there because although my contractions were uncomfortable, they weren't unbearable.

This is when things were still "fun" and "exciting"

Tony was home from work when I got there and since we planned on spending the weekend cleaning and getting ready for the baby, that's what we did.  And at this point in the story, Tony and I really don't remember a whole heck of a lot.  We don't really remember what we did all day and don't remember the timing of things very well.  But the general consensus between the two of us is that we ended up going back to the birthing center late Saturday night (about 10 pm?) when contractions were still consistent and getting more painful.  We got checked in and again I got hooked up and monitored.  I think at this point I was only 1-2 CM dilated and had effaced more than 70% but I don't remember the specifics.  This was so frustrating.  So we walked around the hospital to get things going but not much was happening.  We stayed overnight and they gave me a pretty heavy sleeping pill so I could relax and get some rest.  Unfortunately, I didn't get much sleep at all.

Of course, my doctor was out of town, and OF COURSE, the on-call doctor was a huge ass hole and scared the crap out of me talking about pitocin and needing to get things going -- it all sounded so scary and painful!  It was at this point that I pulled the nurse aside and asked her to contact the midwife that worked closely with my doctor.  Finally, they contacted the midwife and she was upset they hadn't called her sooner.  She came to check me out and it was at this point that I heard for the first time that Presley was flipped the wrong way.  Although she was head down, she was turned to face the wrong way in a "posterior" position, and that this was not a good thing.  This explained why I was more uncomfortable than I should've been and also explains why a week earlier I was certain I felt Presley move into an uncomfortable position (I thought she had moved into a breech position, though).  The midwife and her apprentice had me get onto my knees and chest in hopes to get Presley to flip.  I remember being extremely uncomfortable at this point, felt exhausted, and just felt kinda hopeless as my body wasn't doing what it needed to do.  I don't remember specifics, but I know we stayed in the hospital until about 2 PM (on February 19th) and then got discharged because things really weren't happening, despite consistent contractions and being in a great deal of pain at this point.  I was distraught and cried all the way home, I think, because I really felt so scared.  Thankfully, before we left, our sweet nurse told us to come right back in if things got to be too much or if I couldn't sleep again, etc.

So, we were at home, COMPLETELY exhausted and my pain was getting so much worse.  I tried to be on my chest and knees as much as possible and Tony was helping me as much as he could.  He was just as tired as me with the only difference being his body was telling him to sleep because he wasn't in any pain!  But since I was in so much pain I needed him to stay awake with me to help keep me calm.  I got into the shower to hopefully help relieve some pain and just couldn't find any relief.  It was around 5 PM (on Sunday, February 19th) when I started freaking out saying this was too much and we needed to go in.  We went in and I had progressed a little more (about 3-4 CM and nearly 100% effaced) but not a whole heck of a lot.

I look awful! I needed oxygen but I don't remember why!

 This is when they THANKFULLY decided to let me have an epidural so my body could relax, sleep, and hopefully progress.  I was so scared to get an epidural but at this point I just wanted the pain to go away.  The procedure was fast and pretty much painless and in minutes I was smiling and laughing again and in no time I was getting some sleep!  A few hours later they checked me and decided to put me on pitocin because things still weren't happening.  As soon as they did that, my body started to respond and by Monday very early AM, my water finally broke!!!!  They told me that there was some meconium in the water and this wasn't favorable for the baby but they also weren't too worried about it.  At this point I was somewhere between 7-9 CM dilated and fully effaced and the midwife's apprentice came in and asked if I'd be willing to have my meds turned way down so I could get some feeling back in order to push.  She told me this would be better and things would go faster this way so of course I was alright with it.  Over the next 1-2 hours I started to feel that awful pain again and the contractions were absolutely unbearable!  Along the way I asked her what pain medication options I had and she said, "None.  You are having a baby, it's gonna hurt."  And I've never wanted to kill someone more than in that moment!!!!!

Finally, around 6 AM we were ready to push... and the fun REALLY starts!  Thank God for Tony and our fabulous nurses... I could not have done any of it without their support.  And thankfully, I didn't want to kill Tony throughout all of this... mostly because I was terrified and knew that I wanted him right next to me.  I remember telling the midwife's apprentice (she was the one delivering Presley) that I couldn't do it anymore and I was way too exhausted.  She told me I had to and I could keep going so I did and finally we were making some progress.  I remember the point that the baby started to crown (OUCH) and they asked if I wanted to see her head in the mirror to give me some motivation and I quickly shot that down, I just wanted her out of there and to be done!!!  So I kept pushing and it seemed like it all started happening so fast and at 6:49 AM they pulled her out, I felt SO much relief, we heard her cry, and they plopped this squirmy baby on my chest!

Such a wonderful moment for me!

 I will never forget how warm and soft she felt and how unprepared I felt!!!!  She was crying and I felt like I could hardly move, let alone take care of her.  Thankfully, she calmed down and just laid on me while they took forever to stitch me up.  (I ended up with two 2nd degree tears... ouch!)  She also pooped on me in that time period!!!  But thankfully it was just on the blankets and not so much on me-- woohoo!  After a while I was able to get up and go to the bathroom and I even got to soak in the bathtub for some time which felt absolutely amazing.  They weighed her and she was 7 lbs. & 12.7 oz!

Presley and her daddy getting some time together!

Shortly after that we had some breakfast and our family was there to visit (our parents & my Gramma) and just after that we moved to the mother/baby wing and into the room where we spent the next two days.

Moving us to our new room!

Holding this strange baby I have yet to get to know... so surreal!

I remember breastfeeding those first days hurt so bad and Presley was really having a tough time latching on.  I was having trouble sleeping in the hospital and felt like I could never relax again in addition to feeling like I didn't know how to take care of my own child.  This is when the baby blues started because everything just seemed to be so much harder than I ever imagined it being.  I was having trouble seeing that things were going to get better because I didn't know that they would!  But since then, things have really settled down and we are doing so great with breastfeeding.  I still feel like I don't know a whole lot about being a mom, but I feel more confident in taking care of my baby girl.  I'm getting to know her everyday and each day I'm finding more to be positive about.

So, that is pretty much the story of her birthday!  From beginning to end, labor lasted 50 hours and while I had no idea that our story would go anything like this, I am so glad it's all behind us and just a memory at this point!

Three and a half weeks stronger!

So, this won't be much of a post, but I just wanted to write quickly that things are going well these days!

I think it helps tremendously that we are really getting a nightly routine together and Presley is starting to become a wonderful nighttime sleeper!!!  (I am SO proud of her!)  We are still laying down around 10pm -- some nights she doesn't get to sleep until 11pm but other nights she will drift right off!  She's sleeping about 3-4 hours between feedings and we'll usually get up for the day between 10am-noon.  I've been swaddling her the past couple of nights and she almost always uses her pacifier.  She's still in her bassinet in our room at the foot of our bed.  Thankfully, Tony is a very sound sleeper and he can sleep through our mid-night feedings, getting up for diaper changes, and even through her cries!  He's working about 11 hours each day and a few hours on Saturdays... this is fabulous for our bank account but I miss him so much throughout each day and wish we had more time together.  I know all this overtime isn't going to last forever, but right now is when I need his love, help, and support most.

Thank goodness for the friends and family members who have been supporting me each and every day, reassuring me that I'm strong enough and can make it through the day.  Oh, and thank GOD for TV shows like the Big Bang Theory, the Ellen Show, Two & a Half Men, Family Feud, the Chew & the Revolution.... shows I watch EVERY day that keep me laughing and feeling normal until I have some real adult interaction!!!

During the day I hold Presley while she naps on and off and even though I'm terribly afraid she'll never let me set her down ever again, I truly love bonding with her.  She already smiles all the time (but not really on purpose yet) and makes the funniest/sweetest faces ever; I am CONSTANTLY kissing her cheeks, head, etc! 

I've gotten so much more confident already in being a parent but I still cripple under all this responsibility that I'll have for the rest of my life.  (Oh.my.God!)  I feel more like myself these days, which I am hoping is a sign that my raging hormones have returned to somewhat normal-- I'm sure I'll never be "normal" again!  And I really do think that since we've gotten a better night routine down that this is helping things tremendously.  Unfortunately, I am caffeine-free in order to help our nightly routine, but honestly... it is worth it right now!  I'd rather continue breastfeeding (aka, saving money instead of buying formula!) more than I'd rather have an ice cold Coke!  (I really do miss it though and hate to see a Coca Cola commercial!!!!)  But 7-Up is doing the trick for me once a day!

Alright, that's all for this post.  Thanks again for all the support on the last post everybody... I appreciate it more than any of you may really know.  All the positivity, encouragement, love, laughs, and sharing your personal experience really makes me realize that I can and will do this and I will survive!!! :)  Keep it coming!

Honesty!

Honestly, I don't feel like writing here lately.  I think it's because motherhood has definitely taken it's toll on me!  It's so much tougher than anyone ever let on or described to me.  And honestly, if they had tried to tell me what it was really like, I'm not sure I would have really understood it anyway because it's just something you have to go through to really get it.  As I sit here writing, my house is quiet... so quiet you'd think I was the only one home.  Nope!  Currently, my sweet daughter and husband are taking an afternoon nap.  While a HUGE part of me is jealous of their ability to sleep no matter what the time of day, another part of me is soaking in this alone time.  I've always been the kind of person that needs time to myself so I honestly think I'd rather stay awake (and be a zombie) to have some peace and quiet to myself.  Everyone has been harping on me to sleep when she sleeps, and I do try that, but I can't seem to sleep everytime she sleeps.  Once I am awake for the day, I'm awake.  I don't know if it's my hormones or just the fact that I feel responsible for her 24/7, but it's hard for me to fully relax midday.  I hope this does change so I can at least have the option to catnap with her throughout the day.

Currently, our routine goes something like this:  Tony gets home from work at either 4 or 5pm, depending on how much overtime he is working that day.  He has some time to himself once he gets home to do the manly bathroom routine (aka, "shit, shower, shave") and we usually see him an hour later.  By this time, depending on how the day has gone, I am usually in tears when I start to talk to him... even if the day has gone well!  (Again, I'm hoping this is also hormone-related and also hoping this, too, gets better in time.)  We watch Wheel of Fortune together and have something to eat and depending on the day, watch whatever show of the day is on that we like.  I usually get in the shower and stay put for a long while and enjoy the time that I have to myself, even though I feel a bit guilty during this time!  The rest of the evening is pretty much the same and we try to get into bed between 9 and 10 pm with a goal bedtime (for Tony, at least) of 10pm.  Sometimes Presley goes to bed with us (in her bassinet) after I feed her, but sometimes she decides that her and I need to stay up.  If she does go to bed, it usually takes some time for me to be able to relax and fall asleep.  And then her and I are up in about 3-3.5 (about 1am) hours for the next feeding, diaper change, and hopefully, back to bed.  If this goes smoothly, we are then up in another 3 hours (about 4am) to do the same thing.  We do this throughout the night with some feedings going better than others and by 10:30am, I have usually had enough of the sleep/wake stuff and am up for the day no matter if Presley is or not.

I don't have very much of an appetite these days, so I start the day off with an instant breakfast shake in addition to trying to drink some water as well.  We move throughout the day watching various TV programs (The Chew, The Revolution, General Hospital, etc.) and mostly all I do is just hold the little gal.  I try to put her in her swing but she's not yet a huge fan of it because really she just wants to be held!  And on various days we'll have visitors but I've been so much of a hermit lately that we don't have visitors too often.  From the beginning I've had a strong feeling that I want to bond with our little family as much as possible these first few weeks as well as try to find our new normal.  My mom does come over to help every few days, even if it's just to hold Presley while I go shower or just to have some adult time.  It's nice to be able to have my mom here for us!  Some days I make tummy time a priority but other days she's too sleepy or too fussy for it.  We're not really swaddling her anymore at night unless she is really having a fussy night.  I do, however, seem to rely on her pacifier to quiet her and calm her down each night.  (She'll suck on it for a while, then spit it out and cry so I'll hop right out of bed, pop it back in, and we repeat the cycle...)

So, we've had her home for just under 3 weeks now.  Things have definitely gotten better in that time period and I've cried less and less each day --usually, unless I got no sleep the night before and then I am a mess!!!  I feel more confident than before and breastfeeding has gotten better and easier as well.  I still (and always will) have a million questions and worries, but I am lucky enough to have many parents that I look up to just a few clicks away on facebook.  I am sure my facebook friends are sick of me constantly reaching out for advice and support, but quite frankly, I wouldn't do it if I didn't need it!!!  I also feel like the bond between Presley and I is growing.  At first, despite the feeling that I'd lay down my life for her, I didn't have that instant lovey-dovey bond that you see in Hollywood.  Thankfully, I had the heads up that it isn't necessarily like Hollywood so it was nice to know I wasn't the only one without an instant, super strong bond.  I sometimes still feel indifferent towards her when she cries and I can't figure out what to really do to make her happy, but it is getting better each day.

Everyone says that it'll get better or that each day will get easier and I honestly didn't believe most of them because like I said, it has been very hard work!!!  But now I can see that it HAS gotten better and continues to get easier each day that we get to know each other.  Presley is growing bigger each day and I can actually see that growth and development now.  It's hard for me to understand that she isn't going to be this tiny baby forever because most of the time I feel like we'll be stuck in this stage forever since this is all I know for now!  I know each stage will be trying and will all have hurdles, but I have found myself praying these early days away and hoping that time will fly by.  I KNOW I'll regret this at some point, but I am just looking forward to things getting on a regular schedule and hopefully getting more uninterrupted sleep somewhere down the road.  One of my biggest struggles has been the fact that it's not just me and my husband alone to ourselves anymore.  It really was heartbreaking for me to deal with this but like everything else, it's getting easier to deal with.  I am lucky enough to have him in my life and God-willing, we will hopefully have many years to enjoy each other.  I don't know what I would do without his love and support... he has been such a wonderful husband and father these past few weeks.  I'd go crazy without him!!!!  (Okay, I already feel like I've gone crazy anyways!)

Well, they've been sleeping now for a solid two hours and all I've really done is sit on the computer instead of clean up around here so I think I'm going to go do that or wake Tony up to spend some time with him!  It's been nice having this quiet time to myself, but sometimes it just gives me way too much time to think which these days can be a bad thing as I have a tendency to stress myself out! 

Thanks for reading and I hope I haven't sounded too much like a Debbie Downer, but it's nice to just be honest about the difficulties of being a first time parent.  As usual I would love any and all encouragement, support, and ideas that you may have for me -- it's things like that that have really helped me through this newborn stage!

Happy 2 week birthday!

So, being a parent is ALL consuming.  It has changed my likes, dislikes, interests, etc.  It's hard for me to want to spend any time blogging rather than doing anything else.  I just thought I would update this with a few pictures of Presley since I know my sweet Gramma receives my blogs and I'd like to show her off!  I cannot believe it's already been two weeks since she's been in our lives.  It's been a really tough road getting adjusted and not getting much sleep, but day by day it really is getting easier and better.  Here are some pictures of Miss Presley Rose to enjoy :)

March 2nd: A sleepy girl! She sleeps all day long, but not so much at night.

February 27: Playing dress up with her :) I love her in these little dresses.

March 4: Presley and I cuddling last night... as much as I can't wait until she gets older (aka, starts sleeping through the night), I will miss this newborn stage very much because of all the cuddling.

February 20: Minutes after her arrival!

March 3: A big smile from Presley! I love it. I think she looks a lot like my dad and my sisters.

Alright, I am so sorry for the lack of updates, but I really haven't felt like updating this very much lately.  Hopefully that will change because I'd like to write down her birth story!  Maybe one of these days here soon when my hormones slow down and my anxieties lessen.  I just could not have imagined this is what being a full time mom would feel like-- it's so much scarier than I thought it would be.  I mean, you have to make EVERY decision on your own most of the time.   And breastfeeding is so much more time consuming than I thought it would be.  Not to mention, I have so many questions about everything all the time.  I don't know WHAT I would do without all my friends and family members helping me through it all -- especially through facebook!!!!  I am just so thankful for parents giving me their experience and advice and help. 

I'll write again soon, I hope!