Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Hey you, with the big belly!

Seems like I can't go anywhere without the mention of my belly.  I'm definitely not complaining, just stating.  It really is such a source of conversation and honestly, I can't blame anyone for noticing it! 

I suppose it has grown a bit, even in the last few weeks!
 
So many people I run into no matter where I go will look at me with big eyes (usually) and ask, "How much longer?"  It's to the point where I almost feel odd when people DON'T mention it-- how backwards!  Just this week a woman well into her 60s or 70s stopped me in the locker room at work to ask me the usuals:  When are you due?, Is this your first?, etc... and then proceeded me to tell her about her experiences first as a young adoptive mother and then a biological mother a few years later.  Today, a sweet, young guy (late 20s, early 30s?) was leaving Hyvee with his young son the same time I was and asked me if he could help me to the car with my groceries.  (I was only carrying 3 bags and my purse, but these days everything probably looks like a struggle!)  Thankfully my car was in the first spot thanks to Hyvee's awesome expectant/new mother parking - so I told him thank you anyways but that we were pretty much already at my car! :)  People being so sweet and doing such selfless things like that really remind me to pay that kindness forward.

Even my coworkers, people who see me nearly every day, have been commenting on how quickly my belly is growing.  The constant talk about it all makes me SO antsy about when the big day will be here.  Will she be here early?  Will she go past her due date?  How long will my labor last?  Will I end up accepting medication during labor?  What will it feel like when they set her on my chest for the first time?  But the wonderful thing is I am NOT feeling any amount of upsetting anxiety over all the unknown.  I hope that makes sense because while I do feel antsy and anxious, it's nothing that is messing with my psyche.  So while I would love to know all the answers to my questions, I feel a great amount of peace in where we're currently at; there is nothing wrong with being surprised with what's to come because once we get there, there is nothing we can do to stop it or to turn back, you know?  And although I can't fathom it, I know it's going to be a painful journey, and so even though I'm ready to get started, I'm also not sure how to ready myself to be in a great deal of pain.

Anyways, just felt the need to unwind and write on and off about all this on here today.  Won't be many more childless days of casually writing whenever I'd like to!  I'm so excited to see how EVERYTHING changes once she's here....




2 comments:

  1. you are so beautiful, I am so excited about your new addition. Love you!

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    1. Aww, thanks Carla!!! :) I'm so excited, too! Love you :)

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