One year.

How is it that it already feels like a lifetime ago since we found out that we were expecting?  In reality, it's been one full year.  A year ago today I took a test and from the second I left the bathroom that night, I swear life has not slowed down since.

It's been a whole year of knowing that our life would be dramatically different.
A year full of shock and surprises.
365 days of disbelief that this is going to be our life... for the rest of our life!
52 weeks of having Presley in our life.  (But at that time she was an "it"!)
More days of carrying her inside of me than having her here on the outside.
So many feelings and emotions.  So many memories and pictures.
So many days passed where she is all I could think or speak about.

Going from this...

 

To this...

And finally, to this....

It's hard to believe that exactly one year ago, Presley was nothing more than the results of a pee test.  And here she is today...

We are so thankful and very much in awe of God's plan for our family.

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above...
                      James 1:17

Happy Independence Day, y'all!

Time has absolutely been flying by since our last post!  Let's begin with what's current and work our way back...

• Fourth of July!

So today is the 4th of July and while I made huge plans for celebrating today in my head -- parades, fireworks, etc -- we did just the opposite.  We celebrated today by hanging out at home!  Tony had the day off but he was a little worker bee today and really cleaned away all day.  Me and Presley... we did the sleep/eat combo (well, she ate... I mostly slept!) and it was marvelous.  We really owe Daddy now!  Later in the afternoon we got dressed and headed over to my Aunt Susie's house for a cookout, which was more or less a cook "in" since it was too hot outside.  We got to see some family members who live in Virginia and it was great spending some time with them -- wish they lived a lot closer so we could get together more often!

Naptime cuteness! She is back to being swaddled but was sweating when I checked on her so I started to unswaddle her. :)

Our family today on the 4th!

•  Trip to Indiana!

We've been so lucky getting to spend time with family this summer!  A few days ago we were in LaPorte, Indiana visiting a bunch of my dad's family members.  Being around such a fun, extended family really reminded me of the Mississippi Ward's (Tony's dad's side of the family).  While we were in LaPorte we stayed with my dad's cousin Carol and her husband Tom and spent as much time as we could with my Gramma Myers (my dad's mom).  It was a blast.  Carol's grandson celebrated his 1st birthday while we were there and we got to see the extended family -- a bunch of my dad's cousins & their kids & grandkids -- and I felt extremely blessed to be there.

Carol, Gramma Myers, Me, & Presley before leaving LaPorte

Presley Rose and her Great Gramma Elinor Rose -- her namesake!

We also visited the cemetery Grampa Myers was buried at -- haven't been there since his funeral in 1995!

For maybe the first time in my life, I really understood the full importance of family while amidst all the chaos at Carson's 1st birthday party.  There were people and kids everywhere and a million things going on, but that kind of beautiful chaos is what life is all about and it's the most fun you could ever have.  Everyone was so thoughtful -- people were offering to hold Presley as Tony & I made a plate of food and all the family we met were so nice!  I felt so comfortable and didn't feel judged or the need to be perfect.  It made me wish my dad was still here and that we were closer with his side of the family.  It also made me wish that I lived in the same town as my sisters and cousins -- especially as we are getting ready to welcome so many new additions to the family here soon!  It just seemed like such a blast getting to raise all the kids with the support of your family while they, too, raise their kids!  In addition, like I said before, being in LaPorte reminded me of being in Mississippi around Tony's family.  I am so thankful to be a part - even if it is a small part - of his family.  While I may be a small part of a big family, Tony's family has never made me feel like a small part or an outsider.  From the first time Tony brought me around, I felt like family!  And realizing this makes me miss them as well as incredibly "home" sick.  And I hope I can convey to them how much they all mean to me.

All of these things made it all the more obvious how much I love my family here in the Quad Cities.  But even still, I just feel like we don't fit in all the time.  And whether or not we are actually being judged for the way we live, overall, I typically feel judged.  And that feeling coming from people you love and respect just sucks.  On top of that, relationships suffer when you begin to feel judged.  And I hate that.  Part of me feels like if we didn't live so close that the relationships would be better off.  Oh well.

What was the original point to this rambling?  Oh yes, that we are blessed to have the family we do; extended family, immediate family, friends who might as well be family, and everybody in between.  Blessed.  And what a blessing to be able to hang out with my Gramma for a few days.  She lives in the sunshine state, so it's not often that we get to see one another.  But we keep in touch as best we can through email and I love our conversations.  While my sisters and I were kids, she would send us cassette tapes of her reading stories to us, many of which I still have today.  (Too bad I don't have a cassette player!)  She gave Presley a book called "My Little Princess" and it is one of the books you can record your voice along with each page.  This gift is absolutely priceless.  I can't wait to see how much it means to Presley throughout the years.

• What we've been up to!

So, lately, we've been doing a lot of mall walking and visiting our favorite park in Rock Island -- Schwiebert Park!  Presley and I love to get out of the house every day and those are the typical things we occupy ourselves with.

Mama & Presley at Schwiebert Riverfront Park taking a break from playing in the water!

Presley not wanting to leave the water! That is a first!

Other things we do throughout the week is hang out and SLEEP!

Oh and of course we're always laughing at the things Presley does -- seems like she does something new and funny each day!  We love taking pictures of her, as you can see!

Diva!

Some people joke and say we spoil her but that is a risk we are willing to take! :)  We've also been to the zoo a bunch this summer and the last time we went, we ran into the news crew from channel 8 -- our favorite!  Pretty awesome that Presley is already hanging out with local celebrities.

We love News Channel 8!

Checking up on our favorite exhibit at Niabi Zoo -- our new baby giraffe!

That's the update on what's going on with us here lately.  I love having a place to come and write about all the big and little things going on in our life.  It gives us the chance to look back, smile, and remember the things we might've already forgotten.  Not to mention having a whole blogging community is extremely therapeutic.  So for those of you reading my blog - thanks for being a part of it and enjoying it!  I love hearing what people think of my posts so don't be afraid to stop and comment to let me know you're here.

Again, happy 4th, everybody! 

Happy four month birthday, Presley Rose!

 Dear Presley girl,

My oh my how you've changed over the time we've had you in our arms!  You are really starting to show us exactly who you are.  You are constantly getting bigger, stronger, smarter, funnier, and sweeter every day.  

We saw your sweet pediatrician this week -- Dr. Brodd -- for your 4 month check up.  You weighed 14 lbs. 5 oz. and you were 24.5 inches long!  (Last time we saw him was for your 2 month check up and you were 11 lbs. 12 oz. and 22.5 inches long!)  When we got to the Dr's office, mommy signed you in while you and daddy were sitting down.  All of a sudden, you started CRACKING UP!  It was so awesome.  The more we all laughed at you, the more you laughed!!!  Mommy and Daddy were crying we were laughing so hard and the ladies up front couldn't believe it.  It was the first time you really let out those kind of belly laughs and I am hoping to hear many more of those in our days to come together!  I just captured a quick second of you laughing as we were heading back to our room - and of course once you saw my phone you stopped laughing immediately.

I can't believe how well you take to things.  You started sleeping in your crib like a champ, you took a bottle for the first time when you were three months old with no problem, and you were just fine when I started supplementing with 2 oz. of formula at night!!!  You don't have any nipple confusion between me, your paci, and your bottle.  And you really did so awesome today with your shots.  You definitely got your feelings hurt when the nurse starting stabbing you with the needles, but it didn't take you long to calm down.  I find myself always waiting for the other shoe to drop but I really think you are just pretty easygoing!

You are somewhat "spoiled" in that when you cry or are upset we tend to it right away.  I don't like it when you get really upset so if there is something we can do to help you, we're right there!  And hey, so far it really has worked.  I know these are not days that you will remember, but just know that you are the first thing I see in the morning these days and every night before I go lay down, I go in to check on you and just watch you sleep.  (You are the cutest sleeper I've ever seen!  And so far, no snoring! :) Woo-hoo!!!)

When I look at you every day, in my eyes you haven't changed a bit.  But when I look back at early pictures of you and compare them to how big you are now, it's just crazy how much everything about you has changed.  I try to take it all in so I will be able to remember these things forever, but just like I've already started to forget those earliest days, I'm sure one day I'll forget these days as well.

Your sweet little hands!

I really give you a hard time because you aren't a big fan of being in the water yet, but today at the park, you really didn't seem to mind the water!!!  Baby steps!  I think it might have been because you were so tired that you didn't really care what we were doing, but I'm hoping this is the first step towards your love of the water.

You love being outside, that is for sure.  You've also been coming into mama & daddy's bed in the morning after you wake up and you will cat nap with me until we're ready to get up for the day.  You are a wiggle worm, that is for sure!  Some days you're slapping me in the face with your crazy arms and other days you move your head back and forth way too many times to count.  Either way, I really love our snuggle sessions.  Especially since you are already turning into a little independent thing!

You are also starting to KINDA give kisses.  As in, you like to try to lick us!  So hilarious and really, really precious.

Mommy is still the one who can calm you down the fastest and who can usually seem to calm you down before you fall asleep at night.  But daddy is the one with all the patience!  For the first time in our life together, your daddy and I finally make a really awesome team.  In so many ways you have really turned us into a family and I marvel everyday at just how much you have changed our life.  We are so lucky to be your parents and I hope that one day you feel just as lucky to have us for your parents.

I love you SO very much, Presley!

Love you always,  

your crazy mama!

Father's Day

First of all, let me just say it feels good to change the look of my blog a little bit.  I love to shake things up every once in a while.  Especially considering the recent additions to our life in the past four months -- Presley!  I felt like she wasn't included enough in description and decor so I definitely feel satisfied now.  I wonder how long it'll be until the next update though since she is growing like a weed.

And next, the big exciting thing on the agenda this weekend is Father's Day!  It'll be Tony's first time to celebrate as a Papa Bear himself and I really hope I can make the day special for him and let him know how much he means to Presley and I.  I always knew from the very start of getting to know Tony that he was a gentle giant.  Not only that, but he was respectful and kind to everybody and that really attracted me to him.

So it is definitely not shocking to me today to see him as the sweet, gentle, and loving daddy that he is with Presley.

Not only that, but he is so supportive of me.  For goodness sakes, those first few weeks were so hard on me.  It was a difficult adjustment bringing Presley home and even more taxing just trying to form a relationship with her.  And of course I felt so guilty for not having that instant connection with her as I've mentioned here before.  On top of all that, having Tony go back to work on overtime was just the straw that nearly broke the camel's back!  Not only did he balance all that work and little sleep -- but he was and has remained such a solid rock for me to lean on.  Before Presley, he had never changed a diaper before (not to mention a little girl's diaper) and he was nervous about handling a little baby girl as well.  Not only has he gotten over the fear of changing a baby's diaper, but he has been peed and pooped on and does it all with no complaints and almost always a smile on his face.  When I stop and think about the crazy ride we've been on for the past four months, it really makes me laugh!  We have been attached at the hip for the past 11+ years and in that time I figured we knew everything there was to know about each other.  But getting to know him as my husband and now my child's father has already added so many new dimensions to what I feel for him and in what ways I know and love him.  It's just awesome to be able to do all this next to someone you consider to be your best friend. 

Anyways, wishing a very happy first father's day to my husband, Tony.  I love everything about you.  Thank you so much for being the best father that I could ever imagine.  I love watching you and Presley get to know each other and I can't wait to see how the two of you will get to interact with one another through the years.  You mean the world to me and to be able to go through life with you at my side makes EVERY thing worth it.

To the little girl who has made me a mama, thank you for also making Tony your daddy.  :) 
Oh, also, our baby is flying in this picture.  Pretty cool, huh?

And as always, I am so thankful for the best dad that I could have ever dreamed of having.

I was just telling Tony about something I wish I hadn't lost as a child so I could still have it today.  One of the most awesome things we did while I was in kindergarten was a project that made us realize how special we were.  Our classmates each filled out a paper that said something along the lines of, "Allison is special because ______."  Most people said things like, "because she plays with me at recess."  Then below was a space for each child to draw a picture of the sentence they wrote.  In addition to our classmates, one sheet got sent home with us for our parents to fill out.  I expected my mom to fill it out because she always did those special things for us but was very surprised to see my dad's handwriting on the page when I received my "special" book from Mrs. Smith.  Not only did he fill out the sentence as to why I was special, but he filled the entire page with reason after reason as to why he thought I was special.  It meant so much to me then and when I found my special book a few years later, I tore out his page and kept it somewhere special so I'd always have it.  Unfortunately, a couple years ago I found my "special" book but lost my dad's page.  The memory of the experience is what's important; but I would give nearly anything to have that paper with me today to know what I meant to my dad.  As usual, I just look forward to seeing him again so he can tell me in person!

To all the special dads out there -- HAPPY FATHERS DAY!  I hope you know how much you mean to your children and to your entire family.  Every child should get the chance to grow up knowing they are loved so much by their parents.  To those of you who are missing your dad on father's day, I hope you can reflect on a special memory the two of you made together.  Remember that they are always with you in your heart.

What Presley's been up to!

Let's just start with an apology -- I'm so sorry I've been so behind with my posts.  And truly no one will be more sorry for the lack of posts than myself.  I want to keep up with posts regularly about home life and all the changes Presley is going through as this is something I plan to keepsake and always look back on.  The last entry was on May 31st... two weeks in the baby world is a long time as many of you know!

We got our first family portrait done last week and I couldn't be happier to finally have a nice picture of the three of us.  And thanks to Portrait Innovations, it was only $10.  Love that place!  (Except for how bad they try to upsell -- that gets pretty obnoxious!)  I'll post our family pictures sometime soon for you guys to see!  I think we'll take Presley to get her own pictures on her 6 month birthday and then again once she turns 1 and I really can't wait to get pictures of just her.  We got her newborn pictures taken by Kristi at Rick Jennisch's studio and still need to order those as well.  Seems like it was just a few weeks ago that they were taken but in reality it was 3 months ago.

Also coming up on Tony's first Father's Day!!!  I was already pregnant last year on Father's Day but we had didn't have a clue yet, so I'm very excited to celebrate that this upcoming weekend.  I know it's just a silly day and that in reality EVERY day is Mother/Father's day... but it really is nice to have a designated day to make sure they know how special they are to you.  As always, I really wish my own dad was here to spend it with us, but c'est la vie.  He gets to spend his Father's Day with the good Father upstairs!

Alright, onto some updates on the baby!

• She's still not rolling over.  She really tries, but then again it sometimes seems like she's not all that interested in actually flipping over.  We'll see if it happens anytime soon!
• Presley seems like she'd like to start inching forward.  Today during her tummy time, I put a toy she's never seen before across from her and out of her reach.  She responded by kicking her legs and trying to inch forward.  She even started to scratch the mat she was on as if she could claw herself forward.  Pretty cute stuff.  I was shocked to see her do this!
• She's back to being a mommy's and daddy's girl, which is good, because as much as I really felt so honored that I could console her... it really broke my heart to see her not loving on her daddy.
• Still not loving the water.  I so badly wish I had a water baby!!!  I am hoping this summer when it's warm outside that she'll start to take a liking to water more.
• Still not loving showers anymore.  Not sure what is going on with this water aversion but I kinda want to try giving her a bath again.  But then I remember how much she hated that, which is more than she currently hates showers.  
• She's such a talker these days.  Before she falls asleep at night or at nap time she just talks to herself for so long and so loudly!!!  Cutest. Thing.  Ever.  She also does this in the morning when she wakes up.  Instead of crying for me to come and get her she talks.  And talks and talks!
• She's also been such a happy baby the past couple days!  She's giggling too every so often and it is so sweet I can hardly stand it!  I'll hold her up in the air above my head (like superman) and she will smile so big and let out a few laughs.  Just completely fills me with happiness.
• Presley absolutely knows when she is in front of the camera.  Whenever we pull out our iPhones to record her or snap a picture, she will stop doing whatever she was just doing and just stare at the camera.  Sooo hilarious.
• Still loves looking at lights, fans, and the television!  Bad girl on that last one!!! :)
• All you Southern friends, be glad I still drag this baby all around town completely barefoot, much to some of my Northern family/friends dismay.  ("Put some socks on that baby!"  "Where are her shoes?")  I've never understood socks and shoes on a baby.  Just more useless layers for you to put on and have to take off.  Especially baby shoes.  Barefoot babies make for very easy diaper changes!
• She's still got some fuzz up top but not a whole bunch of hair.  It makes me laugh when people come up to me and say, "Oh!  And don't worry, she'll get hair sooner or later."  I know people mean well and I'm not offended when they say that... but the next person who says that I will probably say, "I'm sorry... have you seen how cute my baby is?  I'm not worried about her hair!"  Bald is beautiful!
• Still exclusively breastfeeding (EBF) her each feeding with the exception of her pre-bedtime feeding.  I nurse her as usual and afterwards give her a 2 ounce bottle of formula.  I really think it helps keep her belly full at night.  We try to begin her bedtime routine around 8, she takes a while to fall asleep, and then usually wakes me up sometime around 1AM to have her paci and some reassurance that everything is okay.  We both go back to bed and she'll get me up anytime between 5AM-7AM depending on when she went to bed the night before.  Sometimes we stay up if she's super alert and other times she'll go back (and so will I!) to bed until 10AM-11AM.
• We spend a good chunk of our day out and about.  I love it.  The people at Target probably think I'm nuts because we're in there several times throughout the week!  Our other hot spots are walking the mall and Schweibert Park in Rock Island.  Love to get some walking in throughout the day.  But I usually try to get home mid-afternoon to give her a nap.  Shes been sleeping well in her crib and like the nutcase I truly am, I miss the days where she just napped on me all day!!! :( We also haven't been swaddling her at nap time or at bedtime and she's been doing really well! So precious to see how she sleeps; usually with both of her arms above her head! So sweet. We still don't have a set nap time for her throughout the day but it Just so happens we're usually home around 2pm on the dot so I can watch General Hospital.  ;)
• We just got news a few days ago that Presley's Great Gramma Myers will be visiting family in Indiana in a few weeks!!!  This is my dad's mom and she lives in Florida.  Tony and I love going to visit her at one of our absolute favorite spots on the map to spend any time we can with her.  Presley hasn't gotten to meet Gramma Myers yet so I will be planning a trip to visit her if it's possible!  We chose Presley's middle name as it is Gramma's middle name (Elinor Rose) because she means so much to me.  Even though I'm nervous to travel with Presley again (because you never know how they are going to act!) I would not miss the chance to see Gramma for anything.

So that's about it.  A lot of change but also a lot of the same.  I haven't been able to do much working out and unfortunately I've really been eating like crap lately, but thanks to nursing her I'm losing weight slowly.  I gained a good 58 pounds throughout my pregnancy (a lot of swelling towards the end as well) and I've lost 46 pounds so far.  If you have no other motivations to breastfeed, that should be one of them!!!

Well, it's bedtime at our house and I'm gonna go snuggle with my husband.  That is if he hasn't already fallen asleep yet!

My precious baby girl!

PS, only about SIX more weeks and I'll be a first time Auntie!!!  We can't wait for Baby Anne Marie to get here!  Presley is ready to be a big cousin already, Amanda, so hurry it up!!! ;)

Family fun!

So, our first family vacation has come and gone and good news:  WE SURVIVED.

And we got to be with some awesome family members!
L to R:  Selena (my MIL), Judy (Papaw's wife), Tony (the hubby), Me & Presley, & Papaw Gordon (Tony's grandfather, Selena's dad)

To those of my bloggy friends who are new parents or expecting, let me just bust your bubble and tell you that vacations are vastly different with a little one.  (Just add that to the ever-growing list of things that just aren't the same as before having your babe!)  It's funny, you plan all these family outings and fun adventures (such as going to the zoo) and your baby could CARE LESS!  Not to mention, they have no idea what's really going on.

Presley at the zoo, probably thinking, "I am so bored! It's so hot out here! Where am I? I'm so confused..."

I think Presley had the most fun when we were at the hotel just relaxing in the room... aka, something we could just do at home!!!  :) Included in the things I thought Presley would be psyched about was swimming.  Here is part of her first experience swimming in our hotel's pool:

Presley's first swim experience!

She didn't love it but after the first few dips she didn't totally hate it, either!  It was a little tough at first to get Presley readjusted to our new surroundings, but after the first day she did really well, which even included sleeping through the night!  This was MUCH needed because for 4-5 days preceding our trip, Presley was waking up every 2-4 hours to eat.  It was tough going back to getting no sleep and being half awake while feeding her, but thankfully it was just a growth spurt after all.  And now we have her sleeping in her crib in her own room which is another big change.  She's getting through it and so are we but it's a little bit of a struggle but nothing out of the ordinary and some nights are better than others.  Lately she's been getting up at 2:30am every morning. 
And then again at about 3:30am.
And then again at about 4:30am.
And then, finally at about 5:30am she gets up and I feed her.

But really, it could be worse!  And it WAS just worse a few weeks ago so I guess I just need to suck it up and learn to love the sleep I get. 

And now something I worry about is whether or not we're putting her to bed at a decent time or not since she's not really showing clear signs of her being ready to go to bed.  I'm pretty sure that I'm never going to sleep soundly for a very long time or maybe ever again.  I feel like no matter what stage Presley is at there is always going to be something for me to stress out about and even more things that I don't quite understand about her.  But thankfully I'm not alone in it all!  Very glad to have my hubby to balance me out and to lean back on.

Look at that great daddy :)

So, we're back to everyday life and it's a mix of great moments and not so great moments.  I am somewhere between loving where we are at and wishing for better days with an older child.  Again, I know myself and I know I will miss the stage that Presley is at but I just feel like I still have no idea what I'm doing with all these "firsts."  I think that's why parents decide to have another child and willingly put themselves through all this stuff all over again -- because hindsight is 20/20 and they want to see how well they can do it the second time around!  I can definitely understand that and sometimes catch myself thinking the same thing... but then after those bad days I look at Tony and tell him I'm never going through this again!!!  But when you look at this sweet, silly baby face... it really melts away EVERY stress....

Happy three month birthday, Presley girl!

We made it to month three, wow!!! So many little things have changed in this amount of time and they mostly have come and gone without much recognition as I'm not the best at keeping up with her progress on here. I just updated last week on what she's been up to, so hopefully I can find something else to talk about now.

For starters, let's go with nursing. I always expected that breast feeding would be something I did out of force and definitely would not be something I enjoyed, but I kinda think I enjoy it now! I know, that's a weird way to put it, but I am still somewhat mixed on it depending on the day. But for the most part I love the bonding time with Presley. I love that I don't have to worry about measurements and that she drinks until she's happy. (unless she's going through a growth spurt and my supply can't keep up with her; then it's one of those days I don't like to nurse!) I love that statistics seem to be in favor of breast feeding; that is what pushes me to stick with it. I've met my second goal which was to breastfeed until Presley was three months and I don't want to stop yet. So I've set our next goal for six months! That will be August 20. I can't imagine what life will be like then, but I hope breast feeding fits into the picture. I've started to pump once before bed every night and I feel fantastic about it. Knowing I have several bags of milk frozen incase of emergency really eases my mind. Although, I have to admit I'm not a fan of pumping. It's impersonal, odd, and uncomfortable. If I became ill or was on medication to where breastfeed if wasn't an option for a few days I would not like to pump and dump in the meantime; that'd be a nightmare for me. I'd do it, but I wouldn't enjoy it. We have yet to give Presley her first bottle and part of me is concerned that she will refuse a bottle. Let's hope not!

Here's our girl on Tony and I's one year wedding anniversary which so happens to be Presley's three month birthday!


That's about all for tonight; hopefully more next time!