Okay, I have been wanting to write on this topic for a while now, but because for so many people it really is still a hot button issue (as in formula vs. breastfeeding), I've steered away from it.  It's to the point where I feel bad blogging about it because I don't want formula fed mamas to feel judged by me.  On top of it, it's still somewhat of a taboo subject and there are sadly grown adults out there who are weirded out by the topic.  I think this has been the BIGGEST motivation to write about it; if I were to stay silent because someone isn't comfortable with this topic, then I really am perpetrating the problem.

After a recent conversation with a friend of mine who is pregnant, I've decided to write about my feelings towards breastfeeding as well as my own personal experiences with nursing my daughter for the past (nearly) six months.  I'm writing this blog and will be so honest in sharing so that HOPEFULLY a new mom out there will come across this who has the same worries I had and realize she's not alone.  I hate to think that everyday there are women who forgo breastfeeding because of the fear of the unknown and if I can be any help towards promoting breastfeeding, even if it's just to one person, then I will feel really good about that.

Breastfeeding Worries:
I don't know about any of you first time mothers out there, but one of my biggest areas of concern when it came to breastfeeding was going from the mindset of my breasts being somewhat of a sexual object to my breasts being something used to feed my baby.  And since there are many people who are so weirded out by breastfeeding, I was scared that it would feel perverted.  To expand on that, I was just scared that it would feel sexual to breastfeed, you know?  And that was beyond creepy to me.  I told myself if it felt like that in even the slightest way that I was absolutely going to be done breastfeeding.

(Hindsight, this is crazy talk - but at the time, I had no idea what it would be like.)

But then I was in labor for like, 50 hours.  And exhausted.  And then at the end of it all, I had a baby to feed.  The last thing on my mind when it came to first feeding Presley were my previous worries.  My inner monologue sounded something like:  "Oh my gosh, am I doing this right?" and "Ouch! This hurts! Why does this hurt? The book says it's not supposed to hurt..." and briefly "Is she getting enough?"

Breastfeeding a Newborn:
And there really hasn't been very much reason (or time) to look back.  In the beginning, Presley and I both had no clue what we were doing.  On top of the learning curve, Presley didn't have the best latch - so there was a fair amount of pain on my end the first few weeks.  I used the Lanolin cream and took a warm shower every day to help ease some of the soreness.  There was bleeding and scabbing, but once everything healed, breastfeeding started getting much better.  But when things were pretty painful, I was able to use a nipple shield while nursing and it made it somewhat better.  I didn't use it much as I didn't want Presley to get used to latching on the shield vs. on me to further the latching issues.

From the very beginning, I got the advice to set small, attainable goals for breastfeeding.  At first it was just to survive the first 4 weeks of breastfeeding, the next goal was to make it until 3 months, and my current goal that I've been working towards is the 6 month mark - which we are currently 2 weeks away from meeting!  Somewhere along the way it has become rewarding and completely fulfilling instead of being a chore or something I found to be inconvenient.  So many times (especially in the beginning) I wondered what it would be like to formula feed; I felt like it must be so much easier and convenient and I wouldn't have this baby latched on to me 24/7!  But in hindsight, those first few weeks of figuring everything out is difficult a challenge no matter how you feed your baby.

Breastfeeding Motivations & Opinions:
There were so many positive findings that led me towards breastfeeding for both Presley and I.  The fact that breastfeeding lowers a mother's chance of ovarian and breast cancer was huge.  But I cannot tell a lie, the biggest reason I looked forward to breastfeeding was because so many moms told me how it helped shed the pregnancy weight very quickly.  Another huge motivator was (and still is) the fact that we don't pay a dime for Presley's food.  Since I've chosen to stay home with her thus far and therefore do not bring in any income, it's been nice not having another expense on top of diapers, wipes, and my addiction to buying baby clothes on clearance. 

Most importantly, I knew breastfeeding was and will always be the best option for my child.  Breastfeeding can lower a child's risk of developing all kinds of illnesses or infections ranging from childhood leukemia to ear infections and many things in between.  That's not to say that formula isn't a wonderful option - because what in the heck would we do without formula if for some reason breastfeeding wasn't an option?  We would be lost!  And I will always respect each woman's right to choose what they do with their own body.

I consider myself very lucky that even despite some issues in the beginning, that I've been able to nurse Presley because I know there are women who are not as fortunate.  With that being said, my wish is that every mother give breastfeeding a shot.  In addition, instead of breastfeeding being a good or even the best option, it should be the standard.

Breastfeeding Experiences:
We've charted Presley's feeding schedule from the very beginning; first using pen and paper and then about a month or so into it I started using an app on my phone.  (The app I use is "Baby Feeding Log" and I highly recommend it to smart phone/iPod touch mamas out there!  It's free and extremely user-friendly.  In addition to keeping track of feedings, you can log sleep time as well as diapers if need be!)  I've enjoyed keeping track of Presley's feedings, mostly so I could pick up the pattern of when she wants/needs to feed throughout the day.  It's also been nice in the instances when her routine goes out the window (for example, throughout her various growth spurts) to be able to figure out what her "new" routine is.

Nursing an almost 6 month old is much different than it was to begin with.  I feel there are far less challenges today and that Presley & I have really gotten in a rhythm when it comes to feeding her.  Our biggest hurdle these days in the breastfeeding department is making sure there are not too many distractions, otherwise Presley will lose focus and latch/unlatch several times.  (And boy, does that get annoying!)  But as long as we're in a relative quiet area, things go just fine.

Another (minor) challenge to breastfeeding these days is TEETHING.  Presley chomps down on her hands, our fingers, her toys, and everything she get get in her mouth.  This includes her paci, the occasional bottle, and YES... my nipple.  (And it DEFINITELY hurts!)  She's only done this a few times and I think my strong reaction is what keeps it from becoming a more regular occurrence.  I can only imagine how this will go once she has teeth......
So, even though I haven't met the 6 month goal quite yet, I know there will be no stopping at that point either.  So the next goal I'll set is 9 months!

Breastfeeding Resources:
One of the websites I often frequent lists the benefits your child receives from breastfeeding according to their age.  In this past, these facts kept me motivated by reminding me why I was choosing to breastfeed.  This website is formatted the same way and lists additional benefits by age as well.

I also use tons of apps on my phone that have helped with breastfeeding concerns including the Medela iBreastfeed App and the What to Expect: Baby App.

Also, to all you breastfeeding mamas, August 15th is Public Display of Breastfeeding (PDB) Day! 

This picture makes smile!  "Breastfeeding Moms Band Together"

I'm one of the many moms that nurse who are intimidated by nursing in public.  Over 1,000 moms have pledged to breastfeed in public on the 15th in solidarity in order to help erase the stigma of breastfeeding.  So of course, I've hopped on board and plan to take part in PDB Day.  If you have the opportunity to do so, I encourage you and ask you to take part in order to encourage the normalcy of breastfeeding!

And lastly, I just want to thank my awesome, super supportive husband for standing by me from day one!  He cares about my goals just as much (if not more) than I do.  Not only that, but I mean it when I say he supports me.  In the earliest days when feeding Presley was most challenging and even stressful, he made it his priority to make sure I was taken care of.  While he was home that first week, he told me he was in charge of keeping me fed because I was in charge of keeping Presley fed.  He did so much for me and continues to do so today - including filling up my glass of water whenever he's home whether I ask or not, changing countless diapers between feedings, and being incredibly loving and self-sacrificing for Presley and I.
I couldn't love him more.


  1. Wow, you and I really are freakishly alike sometimes. I felt every fear you felt, including the feeling like a pervert part. Everyone scared the crap out of me and told me how awful breast feeding was going to be. I don't breast feed now and I really do regret it. It was a selfish choice not to do it anymore. I totally feel judged by everyone because of it and I definitely don't go around telling people I don't breast feed. If people assume I do then I let them think that. I really hate when people ask me if I do or not. I've even had men tell me I should, which really pisses me off. On the other hand I've heard some crazy stories about women who breast feed in public and get rude stares or comments made about it. That really, really pisses me off.

  2. I'm glad you wrote about this post because I have same fears that you did about breastfeeding and I want to breastfeed. So it's comforting to read what you had to share! :)

  3. I'm so glad you're still going strong with breastfeeding. It's still a struggle for me and Abi, I'm lucky if she'll feed twice a day from me... I'm still producing milk though and so I'm not giving up yet. My original goal was to make it to 6 months or teeth which ever came first. I'm pumping also, so that she's still getting breast milk which is the most important thing to me. Abi is 20 weeks old today so I only have a few weeks left until I reach my original goal. We'll see after that. It's been so hard on me and I can't tell you how often I've cried over it. The odd thing is, I've never really been around babies let alone breast feeding babies. And yet I knew from the start that I would breast feed. My mom breast fed me, and I know it's the best thing for my baby and so that's all the motivation I needed. I knew it'd be hard, I knew I'd be sore, I knew I'd feel like my baby was attached to me 24/7 but to me there was no other option. Then we got scared into supplementing by our first ped and everything went downhill. I'm glad I can give her what little I can (one to two bottles a day and what ever she gets from me while breastfeeding) it's not enough in my mind but at least it's something. Anyway, I am so so so happy that you are still able to breastfeed your little beauty! Keep up the good work momma!

  4. Funny I was just about ready to also post a blog entry about breastfeeding. :) Which I still will. Yah for sticking with Breastfeeding! I'm 6 months strong, it's been rough at times but I'm making it work!

  5. Loved this :) Congrats on your almost 6 month mark!

  6. Thanks for sharing your initial fears... these were fears I was afraid to say out load and I really appreciate you putting them out there!

  7. Fab post - thank you so much for sharing.

    Thank you so much for linking up at the Friday Baby Shower - look forward to seeing you at this week's party, Alice x


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