Pros & Cons: Gender Reveal

When we were pregnant with Presley, there was absolutely no way that I wanted to wait to find out if I was having a boy or girl.  At our 20 week ultrasound our baby wasn't cooperating and we left without knowing what we were having.  That was EXTREMELY frustrating.  Our expectations going into the appointment were very high and very clear: we were going to find out the gender no matter what.  So when that didn't happen, we paid out of pocket to find out later in the week.  Although we only had to wait a few days... it was VERY SLOW & painful not knowing!  Of course, everything is different when you are experiencing it for the first time.  More intense.  There are so many unknown things you have yet to experience!  At least that's how I felt the first time around.

So, I will attempt to write out pros/cons of revealing my baby's gender before s/he is born.

Finding Out
  • We will know what to expect.  For example, we have tons and tons of baby girl clothing that we could reuse is baby 2 is a girl.  If we find out we are having a boy during the pregnancy we will have more time to acquire boy clothing!
  • Also, we will be able to more realistically make decisions for the future of our baby depending on their gender.  (For example, circumcision.)  I know we will prepare ourselves whether we find out the gender or not, but it would just really cement it in my mind how important these decisions are for us.
  • The excitement we get to feel for the last half of the pregnancy once we know what we are having!  Not to mention, the extra chance to begin bonding with the baby even deeper.
  • When we finally found out with Presley that we were having a girl it was such a special moment!  Which would be an even more intense, special moment if we wait until his/her birth to find out... but that is such a special moment regardless of when you find out!
  • We can really begin to narrow down names!
Presley at our "gender reveal" appointment... only we didn't find that day!

  • Surprises are sorta magical!
  • Waiting for that amazing moment when the doctor gets to tell you after you've just birthed your baby... "It's a.... !"  And thus... this would be some major, kick-ass motivation during the toughest moments of labor.
  • Baby 2 might be our last baby (if it were up to Tony) so it would be nice to have a new experience with this pregnancy in waiting to find out.
  • No opportunity for misjudgment!  You hear of people who "100%" find out the gender of their baby, just to be shocked when it differs at birth!!!  This way, we are looking at baby in REAL time and there is no mistaking then!

I love Sarah's reason (and encouragement) for waiting so much and thought I would share it as well!

What it comes down to isn't really a HUGE amount of pros for either side... it just comes down to how strongly we feel about each pro!  I bolded the two pros I feel most strongly about.  After having PPD the first time around, a huge motivation in finding out beforehand is the extra chance to begin bonding with this babe early on.  (Not that I wouldn't be able to bond without knowing if it is a him or her... but it IS different when you know what to expect.)  But then there is the huge motivation to wait in knowing that would help me through the toughest moments in labor and delivery!

Time will tell what we decide... but I am dying to hear what you guys think: Would you find out what you were having if you had the opportunity?  Or would you wait?  And why??  Are there any pros that I've left off?


  1. I totally agree. It depends on how strongly we feel about the pros :)

    I can only imagine how hard it must've been to not find out with your first baby, especially when you expected to know. We just went for our 20 week ultrasound last Wednesday, and I'm pretty sure I would've cried if we didn't find out. (Well, I cried anyway, but that was from pure joy :) I also had the back-up plan of paying for an ultrasound though, should we not have been able to see the gender.

    Congrats on your 2nd pregnancy and good luck with the decision!

  2. Chris and I are undecided about this! Obviously we never had to make the decision, but we had talked about it. I personally really love the element of surprise in waiting to find out, and like you said I like idea of that motivation during labor. But I also really like the idea of knowing so I can have everything ready. :)

    Lol. I'm no help!

  3. Stephen and I discussed this with Campbell (our third). I wanted to wait until delivery time, but he didn't. We discussed having the ultrasound to find out the gender and me not finding out. He said he would keep it a surprise the whole time. I didn't want a soul knowing. BUT my husband is pretty awful at keeping secrets. Not intentionally, most of the time he just lets them slide out. The more and more I thought about it, the more I wanted to know. I was set on our third being our last. So I wanted to know which clothes to hold on to (boy or girl, since we have both already). But as the weeks flew by and the more I fell in love all over again with a baby growing inside of me, my heart isn't set on us stopping at three. We always said we wanted four. So IF we decide to have the fourth I am 80% sure I want to be surprised on his/her birthday!

  4. I love surprises in all things in life... except this. We could not wait to find out what gender our little squish was. I'm majoring in ultrasound so I don't think that I'll have a choice with the next baby as I'll know what I'm looking at! LOL But I wouldn't want to be surprised by their gender especially since our next will likely be our last.. I want to be able to know that I can either keep all our girly stuff or have the time to replace it with boy stuff. Plus we can name the baby and start using their name, I always hated when people called my baby an "it."


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