Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Marriage Mondays: A Marriage Covenant

Well, you might be curious as to why I am talking about Monday when it is Tuesday...

Once a week, I want to focus on a topic I feel very enthusiastic about these days and that is marriage.  Every marriage.  It's so very easy to get swept up into the monotony of the day-to-day and forget just how important it is to acknowledge our significant others and their need to feel special.  If we married folks don't start supporting our spouses and our marriages, who will?  Tony and I have been married just under two years and it's funny how quickly that "wedded bliss" magic wears off... not just within our marriage but our "magical" appeal to others.

And that is absolutely okay!  It is unrealistic to go into a marriage expecting to stay on that honeymoon high for the rest of our lives.  Because without the valleys we can't have the peaks now can we?  It is important to me that Tony and I actively care for our marriage; to make being together fun and functional.  It is important to me to support our friends and family members' marriages to aid in health and happiness.  It's important to me to be a light for those who are moving towards marriage in the future, even in the slightest way.

So, for the first (belated) Marriage "Monday", I am going to talk about one of my favorite relationship therapists, Phillip McGraw.  This would be no other than Dr. Phil!  I have partially read and participated in the activities he lays out in his book "Relationship Rescue" with Tony and would love to start again and finish it in 2013!  You hear "rescue" and you immediately think of a troubled relationship.  While it is certainly meant to help relationships that are suffering, it is also intended to refurbish happy and content relationships as well.  I highly recommend getting the book (you can find it on Amazon for $.01 + shipping!) and working on it simultaneously with your spouse.

One thing that I absolutely look forward to is constructing a marriage covenant between Tony and I (and God) and getting it up in our home to be a focal point of our lives.  I think it's a beautiful and intimate thing to share the goals in our hearts with one another - to say them out loud - and to compose goals and plans to aid, strengthen, and guide our marriage through all things.
The marriage covenant will be all about defining your relationship in terms of your hopes, dreams and commitments. It can become like the North Star — a reference point upon which you can constantly focus to keep your relationship on track.
Dr. Phil, Relationship Rescue - a marriage covenant
I think this is a fabulous opportunity to bond with your significant other - whether or not marriage is a part of that relationship.  But enough about what I think - what do you think?  Do you and your significant other have a covenant, motto, or creed that you identify with?  Do you plan on creating one?  I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas!





If you would like to contribute to "Marriage Mondays" in any capacity, I welcome you to contact me at 20may2011{at}gmail{dot}com - whether you'd like to guest blog on a topic you feel passionate about, maybe you have a story from your own marriage you wouldn't mind sharing with me so I can mention it in an upcoming blog, or if you come across an article you think might be helpful to others... I would be grateful to hear from you!


3 comments:

  1. What's your wedding date? Matt and I have been married just under two years too, May 2010.

    Thanks for writing this. We just had a long, heart felt conversation about our relationship this evening and about how things have change and how we can improve it. It's so easy to get lost in new parenthood and forget about your spouse.

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    1. May 20, 2011 :) I'm wondering when the parallels between us will cease - not looking like anytime soon, huh? Love it. It's funny because literally the entire time Tony & I have been married we've either been expecting or parents! So much for alone time ;)

      And we had a similar conversation over the weekend... you never expect it but all the "little things" can really add up and cause a need for some reflection and change! Sounds fancy - but in reality in our house that involves arguing!!! LOL. Parenthood is so consuming that I TOTALLY agree - it has a tendency to take 1st place to anything else. We're just lucky gals to have landed such good men.

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    2. Lmao, I just realized I meant to say May 2011. I'm freaking stupid. And yes, we're always finding something new that is the same between us!

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